Broken Wings!

I feel lonely,

Often in the wake of some unwanted waves,

I stab myself to distract my mind,

But I hit a road bump every time, 

The uncertainty in me just keep digging my soul,

The unrest often asking me to pray,

I slam my head to the wall,

scream when I see the blood, 

Holding a deep breath,

I swallow the food,

It tastes like I want to throw up,

It's just my anxiety acting up, 

I frequently speak to myself,

In deprivation,

Things would have been fun,

If only just heart listen, 

Summer makes me cringe,

Winter makes me tremble,

I snuggle my fears,

Aid them to explode on Christmas Eve,

Pillow doesn't comfort anymore,

The bed feels like a marble surface,

Wide awake I count stars,

In the middle of the night,

I observe my wounds, 

It feels like a fulfilled life,

There are no seasides,

Many memories and crafted dreams,

beaches and sunlight,

Broken shadows and dark desires,

Wish it could just become clear,

And I get to relive all my favorite moment from the past.