I cry through my laughter and
Laugh through my tears.
I give up when I'm not supposed to
And I hold on when I should not.
I crave for someone's shoulder,
Yet I push them all away.
I wish people would recognize my pain,
Yet I die to put my facade on.
I want to be alone
But I breakdown when I get lonely.
All I need is someone who would hold me,
Yet I've been pretending I don't need them.
Why am I like this?
Why is my existence nothing but
A mere paradox in itself?
Why is it like I don't want to breath,
Yet I want to feel alive?
I look for reasons to blame myself
And then for escape routes and something else
I try and fail, I cry in shame,
Even when things go right I let it out a wail.
Emotionally flawed, forever alone,
Wishing there was someone at home.
The classic "I'm fine" or a series of lies,
Confused about 'why's of life'.
Thinking I'm great, thinking I'm not
But always thinking a lot.
Putting out fires while causing new burns,
When will I ever learn?
Existence is so overrated,
There's so much to hate
But searching for new thrills every day.
Morbid curiosity, fatal mistakes,
A history of always being late
Why am I like this, wish I was more
But always walking into open doors.
Not so different, are we?