Being a mother of two daughters, she has often faced moments of delusion and confusion, sometimes helplessness, and a lot of times awe at the mothers all around me... She wonders if what and how much she does as a mom is enough or not, right or not... From mommies in her daughters Parent Teacher Meeting group, to mommies in the vicinity, to mommies in the family, there's such a variety of them.
Each trying to prove a point somewhere, each making another feel less about what they do for their children and what you don't... And somewhere, it's never enough... she had the school teachers of her daughter to say “Madam, make your daughters mingle with their other friends, so that they will be more expressive and with that they bloom with their talent.” She had the other mothers of her vicinity to say her, “Why are you keeping away your daughters from the gathering of other girls of our society? They should learn what’s going on their current generation, how the current generation maintain their lifestyle, dressing, make up, communication sense and after all just how to represent them in front of others, which will be helpful for them to get good guys in their life… ”. She had her own mother to say “Why don’t you teach your daughters to do household work and why do you do all, even though you are able to afford domestic help… anyway, what will the girls do after getting education…”. She remains quiet….
She always keeps ready the answer with her, but cannot say, just remain quiet. She wanted to say “I am scared that my little girls should not learn something wrong from other students in their this tender age, I am scared that my daughters should not concentrate to impress someone in their dressing and communication sense, in fact someone should be impressed by their talent and knowledge, which they are learning themselves by keeping them away from the other girls of our society, I am scared that one day my daughters will be doing all the household work like a housewife, so why to lose their freedom when they are with me, this is the time for them to enjoy…”. She was so scared to expose us with the external world. Somewhere she had a feeling of insecurity, which was always daunting her to depart her beloved daughters from her.
She wanted her daughters to be good in education and be independent financially, which they achieved, now the time came when everyone in her vicinity started suggesting her for their future, they mean to say about marriage.
Many proposals came, but still she was not able to accept anyone, as still she was grappled by that insecurity feeling when she was able to accept that if anyone is there to take care of her daughters the way she has taken care. Day by day, she was becoming more possessive towards her daughters. She was not able to accept that her daughters are grown up and are now in a marriageable age. She was getting happy when her daughters were getting accolades after their professional achievements…as the time flew, she had to accept the candidates which were less competent than her daughters…
Now, the actual life started for her daughter….
The life thrown her daughter to face the reality, for which she was being protected by her mother since a long time. Life thrown her at such a turning point that she had to come out from her cocoon and took a decision to break her marriage.it was not that much easy for her mother to accept, because still she was under the pressure of society. Still, her daughter was a culprit in front of her eyes, because she had broken all the boundaries within which she had restricted her daughter.
Few years passed by…
In one fine day, a lady came with a small baby boy in her lap and met her mother and conveyed her gratitude towards her. Her mother could not realize what was the reason behind this. Then the lady told that it was because of her daughter now she was able to lead her life herself. It was her daughter who fought to make her free from the torture of her husband, taught her to become self-dependent and to lead a peaceful life. It was not only she but five more ladies are leading a peaceful life because of her daughter. So, on behalf of all, she had come there to thank her mother because of whom her daughter had become so strong, who had saved many other lives and had become very supportive towards them.
Now, the mother started feeling guilty…Was it because of her well-mannered culture that she had taught to her daughter or was it because of so much possessiveness because of which her daughter had gained so much of energy to fight against the injustice! Her daughter could not accept the injustice that had happened with her, some extent being a mother, she was also responsible for that…not to some extent ..it was the one who was completely responsible for her ruined married life. If she would not be so much conservative, then she must had allowed her daughter to mingle up with others, to learn from others mistake, could have learn to take her own decision, could have selected a suitable groom for herself, then her life would not be so much miserable. Now, she could have led a complete life with her husband and kids.
She went to her daughter and confessed her mistake.
Then, her daughter told “Maa, today I am able to extend my supporting hands towards five ladies…and I hope, one day, I will be able to extend towards five lakh ladies. If I have the capability to do this, then how come I would have restricted myself inside a house, listening to a single person! It was possible only because of your ideal brought up for me. Who knew if you would have given me enough freedom during my teenage, that would not have spoiled me. You had made me to work for years before marriage, that’s why I was able to realize the taste of independence and difference between a married life with only love without any expectation and that with only expectation. And because of this I was here…I was here to see smiles in the face of many ladies who were struggling in her life, in a very similar way, oneday, I had struggled in my life.”
Motherhood is an extension of that identity, it's for us lucky women to enhance our lives but not to put pressure on a simple thing like "living life."