You never know who's watching

You never know who's watching you

I've been writing this blog for the last 8 years and when I started I thought that this would be for women. Women who felt alone, who could relate to my situation but as I continued I realized my life wasn't just about my verbally abusive marriage, it was so much more. I realized I was changing, I was stepping out past my fears and I was growing and changing, and I needed to write about that.

I needed to write about dating after being married for 24 years, I needed to write about my problems with my girls, I needed to write about meeting new friends and my bad choices in men, this was all part of the new me now.

And then I realized that many men started to follow me, at first I was shocked, like why? But starting over is universal, being hurt is universal, and dating issues oh lord, is definitely universal for all of us.

I write about life, the good, the bad and the really ugly. There is nothing off limits for me to put out there because I have to be real, I have to be honest no matter how that makes me look. I no longer care about "What will people think" which was my ex husband's favorite saying. Who gives a shit! I am human. I make mistakes, I fall on my face, I make the wrong choices. That is what we all do except most of us are too ashamed or too worried about what others will think to actually say it out loud. 

But not me, who cares here I am warts and all, like me or not this is it. And I guess the fact that I am vulnerable touches others. Men and women can relate, even if they won't admit it in public. I make them feel like they are not alone in their feelings.

I also know some people read my blog to be haters, to see what I am doing, to keep "tabs" on me.

Recently I found out about a secret stalker, who I thought may have read my blog but now knows for sure. It's no wonder why they are still so petty, and so full of hate. 

When you swore that person wouldn't make it without you, that they would fail miserably. You become a hater that they are still making it on their own and that they are going great.

But sorry to all you haters out there, there is so much more to come. Come and get a front row seat to it all as yes, I will continue to put it all out here. But trust and believe this has nothing to do with you, 

Remember that Carly Simon song You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you, don't you, don't you?

Nope, sorry to bust your highly inflated balloon but it has nothing to do with you but it has to do with my hope that I can help others. That someone out here can say if she did it I can do it. That if she survived all she did and still has a positive attitude so can I.

This has nothing to do with you, you just gave me the lessons I needed to learn to be able to teach. And yes, believe it or not I am grateful for that and would never change a thing. I needed to learn these things no matter what the cost of the pain was. I needed to become who I was meant to be, a better version of myself. I needed that so that I could find my purpose and passion.

God always had this plan for me, he was just waiting on me to have the courage to take the next step 

So today my friends, I am here to stay. I am here to hopefully be an inspiration to others, to give hope, to let others know it's okay, to leave, to be happy, do you boo. To tell you all that you are perfect just the way you are. Just as God has made us.

And to tell you haters and stalkers, please come in, and take a seat, in the front row if you like, because the second half of my life will be even better than the first half and like they say... the best revenge is living well.

And I am sure as hell living my life, well, large and in control!!

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats