What is Really Really?

Prompt - My sleep was stolen, I'm searching for thieves.

These memories in my head, are too vivid to see.

The same dream again and again. It bought me horrors, it made me suffocate. It can't be described in words. I was surrounded by textures, one was soft enough to suffocate me, the other was hard enough to do the same. While visually it was surrounding me, I could feel those same textures in my throat at the same time. Well, as I said, it's hard to explain.

I remember distinctly. These dreams haunted me for 7 years of my life, and after, that they magically disappeared.

After 11 years of those drastic dreams, I've started realising that my dreams have always held a meaning.

The entire year of 2019 was spent dreaming about murders. One day, someone is jumping in the river while on the other day, Ranveer Singh jumps off a bus infront of my school. Some of them were hilarious while some of them gave me terrors. One common thing although, was my dad. In all those dreams, my dad was holding my hand and holding me back from going and saving those people's lives. 

Although these dreams didn't signify anything but along with this, I also dreamt of silly little dreams which used to come true.

Like, once I dreamt that I was going to appear for my Accountancy Viva and I had forgotten my project file at home. And, shockingly, I have no clue how it actually came true.

These silly dreams are usually common with general public but, two dreams which were very impactful to my mental health still cross my mind once in a few days.

Last year, I had just woken up while I was narrating my dream to my brother.

"The glass windows broke and the car burst out. Everyone was running and there was fire all around. Mom was screaming to wake me up but I was sleeping peacefully near the window which had just shattered because of the blast. Mom told some cylinder had just blast but it wasn't our home Bhai, it was a building with lots and lots of people. And everything was ruined, everyone was crying. It was miserable."

I had just completed narrating my dream while my mom rushed to our room panicking and talked about the blast that had occurred in my Aunt's hospital. The windows were broken, the walls were ruined, the car could hardly be identified as a car, people were crying and this entire blast happened because an oxygen cylinder burst.

I wish I could actually attach some proves to validate the incident, but all I can do is to narrate it.

Owing to all of these dreams and many more dreams which play in my head every night, it makes me wonder, why me?

Why am I the one to see ghosts, cats, bats, darkness, gloom, depression and deaths? Why and mainly, how do they transport from my head to reality? And, why do I distinctively remember every bit of those dreams?

People tell me that these dreams are nothing but an outcome of my over-thinking but I never thought about my father's death or mother's death, I never thought about forgetting my project files, I never thought about a blast in my Aunt's hospital and even if I did, how do they turn into reality?

These were all dreams of the past but there's still one dream I feel am living in.

January 2020, the world was normal. Nobody knew what Corona was, nobody knew our lives were going to see a turn of tables in the next two months. Everybody was making plans of making 2020 a better year than 2019.

While the world was partying, cheering and enjoying the start of the year, I was sleeping. I dreamt again.

There was a long queue of cars and people and everyone was wearing masks. Everyone was waiting for a "cure" and the demand was excessively high while the supply was short and available to only those who could afford to bribe the officials. In of the cars, I saw my best friend who shifted to Canada in December 2019. He meant the world to me. He wasn't wearing his mask so I told him to wear it or else he might get infected. But he rather told me "Don't worry I have a strong immunity." My dad somehow parked the car by breaking the queue and law and told us to follow him. We were headed towards the destination to take the cure but then I heard my mom waking me up.

I know it might be sounding as unrealistic as real it is.

On a video call in April 2020 with the same friend, I told him to wear a mask and he actually replied "I have a strong immunity, don't worry."

I was shocked. I couldn't remember the dream distinctively at that point but after a few months when I could see flashbacks of the same, I realised that I did dream of corona! But where was the cure?

Surprising, isn't it? The cure was actually the vaccine which my family intends on taking in April probably, during the same week my bestfriend is returning from Canada.

Well, I am really intrigued about how my brain functions. Recently, I have started seeing hallucinations of the 11-year-old dream whenever I get anxious. Are dreams just an outcome of our thinking process or do they actually signify something? I am laughed at when I tell my friends about my dreams and when I connect them with reality. How do I make people believe that, maybe, there's a slight probability that our dreams are connected to our guardian angels warning us about the future or simply giving us a sneak peek?

In this whole wide world, the only human who understands this complex connection between the episodes I watch with closed eyes and reality is my mom. After all, I inherited this from my mom and her grandmother.