Wanting the Past to Pass

Recollecting the memories does not always invoke feelings of tranquility. Sometimes, it opens the deep scarred lane, which one does not want to travel anymore. But is that easy to shut some doors and leave them aside, never to be opened again? Or does life brings flashbacks at the most unexpected times, leaving one astonished yet wounded AGAIN. 

A few days back, while walking on a busy road, I came across a girl sobbing. Under the light blue sky, the scorching sun, the cacophony of traffic roars and rhythmic patterns of human feet, my vision became bleak with a bare remembrance of expressions and faces around me. Yet, her sobs pierced their way down my body, urging me to turn around and wipe off the tears that were not mine. Unable to take a step ahead, my feet felt glued to the street while my mind and heart took their time to end this war of to-be or not be to be. 

After a minute or so my senses came on same plain and I found my body taking a turn, approaching this young child already washing her face to put a smile for the world. Something in me said, "oh no! She's too young for this". In no time I found myself standing next to her, stopping her from moving past me. The child shrugged from my presence but waved her weakness off to appear strong. Her stare with bloodshot eyes had so many questions out of which she only managed to ask, "Sorry, did I do something wrong?". My heart clutched from pain as I kneeled down to reach out to her. I minded my distance while asking her name. Her wet yet dry eyes blinked a few times then wandered around in search of something while she said "Kaya". I knew at that time that she was in trouble. Before I could deduce anything I saw a group of young girls and boys similar to her age eating ice-creams in the corner laughing their guts out. As I reached for her eyes she said, I wanted that too. I felt bad for her, so I asked her to give me a chance to go by her the ice cream. But as the words left my mouth, she said "No, not that, I meant the good time". I pushed her for details, and being a young innocent child, she burst out in tears exclaiming, "Why? Why am I not good enough to hang out with." She could not say anymore and cried her lungs out. 

But rather than standing by her I realised, I was walking away, hurriedly as if running from something I had always been doing. And when I stopped, I found myself standing next to a group of adults staring at me with melted ice-creams in their hands. As one of them said "Kaya?". Out of breath all I could manage to say was, "Sorry, did I do something wrong?".