Two-Faced

Has my existence been a lie? I am not who I thought I was? Each day surviving, waiting for the present to end and the future to start sooner. I never lived, I just survived in the wilderness of this uncanny surrounding. What do you call a con artist who cons for the sake of others? I swear, it wasn't for me it was for my momma.

 I was born twice, once out of my mother's quim possessing gonad, weeping tears as if discontent with this confinement, as if my soul was triggered by this awry. Being a bairn I realized nothing at the time. My conscience was stricken at the christ awakening but not metaphorically. Being a Mormon I didn't quite support all this facade but as an alleged student of a Christian school, I was forced to attend morning prayers praising Jesus. it was then that I saw her, vibrant as always but too late for me to notice, I had lived with her for the past 13 years but dare did I not notice this beauty shrouded beneath this faux virile. 

There she was, staring at my reflection through the mind which reflected the image of self and others, the mirror. Was it the Mormon in me that never accede to believe that a felony had been committed by the hands of the merciful, the supreme being had made a mistake in carving this frame. Never thought I'd concede, but a gesture so immaculate, framed by the divinity, as if he were trying to mend fences for the asinine blunder, give me a sign, a cue carving the path of my being. 

I was not supposed to be born in the course of a lad, it was always ought to be a bint. No! It was destined to be. If it really were a mistake by the almighty then why did he have to make this fallacy a sin? I simply did not ask to be born a lass, my soul does not give consent to this felony. 

This should have been my choice, I am a lady though inborn in the body of a boy, I choose to be a woman. It is the 1940s and I resolute to recommence my life however may I please. I stand by my verdict. I was born twice once as a lad, the other when I proclaim to continue my path however may I please.  I believe to lead the way, brace it,  call me deranged, call me ailing, call me insane, it is what it is.“Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.” I was a lad but am a lady. this is my possible course of action.No one shall have a say in it, not even the Almighty himself. I am both, I am two-faced.