The Summer Love

Everything in this world is a mystery, you don't know what is going to happen within the next minute. The thing called friends are just a mystery but nothing more. They hold grudges or maybe if you know how it feels to love your closest friends, then you have suffered more than enough. A girl with innocent eyes and magical voice, her hair looks like a beautiful waterfall and overall her beautiful face makes me forget about my problems, insecurities. But as we know those who are nice to loners like me, they are nice to everyone. And this kinda tears my heart into pieces. I changed schools when all of this happened. I was alone and spending all of my time writing or doing many things.

One day she came to me and asked why am I always alone, don't I need friends. I just ignored her and during winter mornings whenever she tried to talk to me I just ignored her. I don't know but I have seen that makes everyone smile no matter what and stay away from people who are like that. And that's how one year ended. Next year was our last year of school but due to COVID-19 I never got to attend classes. I was happy because there was no one around myself and I love being alone. And during the lockdown period all of my friends forgot about me. This kinda hurted but it was all ok. I never expected anything from them. I just wanted them to remember me. Nothing more and nothing less but never expect anything from anyone.

Well I was used to being alone. It wasn't a very big deal. But the Girl I was talking about never left me alone, now she texted me on every platform. And I became little interested in her. I always love to listen to other people talking about their life, this world and literally anything they like others to know. and after 6 or 8 months of talking I got to know that she was always on my mind. I was always thinking about how the two of us can be alone for the very moment and If possible I have her hand in my hand, just walking to wherever the way would take us. But I was confused with a thought: Is it love or just some sort of attraction? I was having a really hard time accepting those thoughts and after about a year I got to know it wasn't her face or anything I was in love with. It was the way she always looked at my eyes and smiled. How she told me not to worry about anything because I got her. And day by day I fell in love with all sorts of things she does. Sometimes we were walking down the roads. I love how she walks behind me and crosses her hand. Just like there were no other people in this world beside her. Her pure and innocent eyes always cheer me up.

Sometimes we are walking quite and sometimes she's the one who can't stop talking and sometimes I am the one who can't stop irritating her. Well you can call this the first love of summer because I was getting numb everyday. I was forced to become a cold hearted person. But Love can change everything. But someone said you can't keep this sensation and feeling to yourself. I tried to stop talking to her but her smile always said,"Let me tease you a bit". I always tried myself not to associate with her, but I can't leave someone with such pure eyes in this freaking world alone. I don't ever want to see her crying face. She was a very gentle person who couldn't see anyone get hurt, she would make others smile and forget about their problems completely.

She was just like an angel without wings. She was too good for this world. I always remember the time during our first year in college while exams were going, we both went to the Library together and I couldn't stop myself from looking at her. Her small and warm hand, her pretty face, her big and round eyes and literally everything, I can't get over them. But someday you have to realise that you live in an entirely different world from everyone and your world is completely different from your love. But still you forgot about everything and just wish to spend some time in her world, where everything is beautiful. In my world there is nothing worth knowing, people often call me bad, I don't know why but that's the reality and you can't do anything about it. A purposeless and ambitionless person who doesn't even have any dreams left. That's how I have become. On the other hand, she was nice to everyone.

And she is always there for everyone, not for myself only. And that broke me from inside because I was the one thinking I was special to her. Maybe she just spent time with me because she pity me for my problems. But I don't have the courage to tell her to leave me alone in this darkness. I enjoy being in darkness but I also don't like it. I want to stay unknown yet want to be known, I want to die yet I want to live. But one day I texted her a story that was about myself and how I fell for her. Next day was my birthday and I remember I have written there I don't know if I am going to see the next day, so stop being with me and find yourself a worthy one who deserves every bit of you, don't talk to me and tell me everything is fine, I know nothing is going to be fine.

And after telling her all of my feelings, my chest felt light and I slept without thinking. I know that this will be the end of everything and we will become strangers with memories. But the next day she texted me a birthday wish. This is what I never expected. I thought finally I was all alone in this silence. But she never left me alone anywhere. Wherever I was she was always by my side. But my eyes were still dead and cold. People were afraid of my eyes. I never get to know what it is that she desires. Why can't she leave me alone, when I want to be alone. Well there are some people who are just like stars in your night sky, making your life beautiful. Let's see how far we both can go with things the way they are now. One day she is going to leave me but I don't mind that. She has done more than enough for me. She is just like a single star shining while It is cloudy outside. But Every single day I just pray to god that In my next life, I could meet her and we again could have a great time together just like we are still having. I pray the god to take away all of her problems, I don't care if I still suffer, I am used to it. Don't let anything ruin her beautiful smile.