The Story Of My Life

I was down on my knees and crying at my situation. I didn’t even have a vague idea of what I was going to do next, but something that I knew in my heart was that I couldn’t just give up; give up on the dreams that I weaved for my family, dreams that always pushed me forward, dreams that kept me awake all the while, dreams that were still unfulfilled. They were calling out to me saying, “What happened to you now? You were doing so well so far but what stopped you now?” I couldn’t answer these questions that were ringing in my mind. All I had to do was to take heart and just shrug away all the negativity but that seemed to be an uphill task.

It was the summer of 2004; things were going hunky-dory for me and my family. Children were going to good schools, my wife was happy with the way things were turning out. I had a joint family but that never seemed like a burden. I was a responsible person who took care of their every need and that gave me the utmost pleasure. Things were as good as they are in the movie ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ in the beginning but as they say, time and tide never waits for anyone, so it happened in my case. This one guy approached me with a business idea and I trusted him blindly owing to my docile nature and that was the beginning of something I never anticipated. The guy I thought was my business partner turned out to be a crook who ran away with all the money I had got for him on loan. Now I was in a soup so deep that at times, suicide seemed to be the only option. I would have gone ahead with the step, if it was not for my family. I kept everything behind the curtains and didn’t share even a bit with anyone in my family. Even my wife didn’t what I was going through, but how long could I hide the secret! It was revealed by the way I talked, the way I looked and the way I expressed things.

My children were very young but they also felt that their old papa was missing however they didn’t know the reason behind it nor did they ever ask. I used to be a person who always booked taxis for going around but now I was in a situation where I was riding a bicycle to get from one place to another. The condition was grim. The career of my children and the future of my family were at stake. Despite paying the interest, the creditors were at my throat paying the loan back. We used to have 2 houses and I had to sell both of them to shut the creditors but even that didn’t fulfill the amount. Things were getting out of hands and at one point of time, everything looked bleak but life had other plans. My family and I decided to move to Delhi. I never wanted it but my family convinced me somehow.

With a big burden on my heart, we landed in Delhi and this was a new beginning for me and my family. I was not a skilled person because I never got a chance to learn anything as I had to start as early as 12 years. We stayed with our relatives for around a month but things started to get bad. After all, we were a family of seven and it was tough for our relatives to take care of us for a longer period of time. With no other option in sight, I started working as a construction worker. From being a ‘Sethji’ (merchant) to being a ‘majdoor’ (labour), my life had turned upside down but that was the cost I was willing to pay for my family. The hope in my children’s eyes motivated me to keep toiling hard and make ends meet. We got a rented room and started our lives from there. It was shattering for me when I had to let my wife and my daughters work as domestic help. I never imagined this future for them but there we were, in middle of a quicksand trying to come out of it, one climb at a time. Their efforts and concern for the family inspired me every day I went to work. My body used to get dead tired but when I saw the smiles on their faces, it used to fade away in a jiffy.

Things started to get better now. My family was stable enough and now I could think about my children’s study. So the first thing I did was to enroll my two youngest daughters in a school. My son couldn’t go to regular school but he got admission in NIOS and continued his studies. My eldest daughter learnt driving and started working which really helped the family financially. Soon after, my son landed a job in the same place he was going to study and this was another victory in my life. After a few years, we bought a piece of land for ourselves and built our very own house the very next year. Now when I look back at my life and my decision to move to Delhi, it all makes sense.

I used to sometimes feel bad that my family forced me to come to Delhi but that same family motivated me to keep working hard and do what’s required. They became my backbone and with their help and support, I kept moving further one step at a time and at every step I had my family cheering and backing me. They were not just audience but they became participants in this fight of mine. At times, I almost gave up but they took that yoke off my shoulders and shared the burden. My wife became my inspiration who never thought of leaving me at my worst. My children never cursed me for taking bad decisions instead always consoled me. I don’t know if things would have changed (which looked almost impossible) had I stayed back in my hometown but one thing is for sure, I would not be seeing this day if my family wasn’t there strengthening me. I was down and out. I was dead inside. I was on the verge of collapse. In fact, deep down inside I knew I had already collapsed and all that was left was the debris of my wrong decision and a hopeful future of my family. A part of me fell apart and I thought it was beyond repair but my family proved to be too good a mechanic. They gathered all the broken pieces and started building my life one brick at a time till the building was built and till the wounds in my heart healed.

In the modern world, where families are broken in the blink of an eye and people perish just because of the mistakes of their family members, my family has proven to be a delightful and relieving exception. I hear in the news every now and then how people who are tied with a bond of blood can’t even look at each other eye to eye. It has been the total opposite in my case and how grateful I am for that to the Almighty! My life could have been a misery and I could have even ended it way back when everything seemed bleak but it was my family that raised me up like a child who needed support and words of encouragement. I am pretty sure that if my children and my wife had left me then, I would not be breathing to this date. So if someone talks about my inspiration, there is no better example than my family. Through thick and thin, through ups and down, they inspired me to do things that I always hesitated to do. Yes I had to toil which is justified owing to my wrong decision; they never looked down on me and cursed me. In fact, they took me under their wings and nurtured my broken soul like a child and eventually healed it. Now all the memories of my past are far away and I am living a beautiful life with my beautiful family. Sometimes I ponder upon my decision that I took which changed my family’s life and try to think how it would be had I not taken that decision. My children always remind me everything happens for a reason and the reason for their success is my bad decision and that satisfies me and gives me the courage to keep moving forward and work form them as long as I can. After all, they are the ones who were there and I am sure they are the ones who will always be around in case I am in any soup.