The Man Who Knew No Love

The Man Who Knew No Love

4 mins
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“Can I really do this?”, muttered Prem to himself.

That was an arduous task, and the time from evening to the next morning, stretched in front of him. He walked home with stooped shoulders and a tired gait. His wife was quick to comfort him with a steaming cup of coffee, with traditional South Indian snacks. Prem, however, remained confined to his thoughts.

Anita had been a good wife, daughter-in-law and mother. Though Prem was not on the best of terms with his parents, she had developed an excellent relationship with them. They treated her as the daughter they never had. Life had glided by smoothly, for the past 15 years. His son was in high school,  and soon,  would enter college.

Entering college had been such a liberating moment for Prem. His younger days, however, had not been so smooth. His father was an army officer, known for his love for discipline. It reflected in the manner, in which he treated his children. They were spanked for the slightest breach of discipline. Prem and his brother had slept hungry on several nights, after being beaten up with his father’s leather belt. Their mother watched them with helpless sympathy.

He loved the total freedom that he found in the college hostel. He could have been misled by nefarious hostel-mates, but somehow, his mother’s influence had kept him grounded. He acquired the much-coveted degrees, found a job with a MNC firm, and was reasonably well-settled in life. The quaint Indian system of an arranged marriage took over, and he found himself married to the gentle and beautiful Anita.

Then, dawned the day, that would change Prem’s life forever. He stood in the hospital lobby, with his newborn son in his arms, and tears streaming down his cheeks. How quaint was this emotion of love,  that he felt for the first time in his life! It was unconditional, encompassing and all-pervasive. He had silently vowed to be an exemplary father to this tiny angel.

And today, the Emotional Intelligence trainer had asked each of the participants to say three words to their spouse, and watch the reaction.

“I love you”.

Why had this not occurred to him before? Anita had changed the course of his life. He had led a normal and almost happy family life for the last 15 years, despite his father staying in the same house. The past was gradually fading away, and he often, saw an indulgent grandfather, spending quality time with Prem and Anita’s two lovely children.

Why did he fail in expressing his gratitude to Anita before? Was it gratitude? Companionship? Camaraderie? Or…. LOVE? He had always feared that word. But he had also feared losing her, and today, the challenge had been posed by an outside entity.

Acknowledge your feelings, express it. Let her know that you reciprocate all her sentiments. Do it, Prem, you have to do it ….”.

And dusk rapidly moved to welcome the dawn.

The next EI session witnessed much bonhomie and mirth amongst the participants. One of them shared, that his wife of 20 years, touched his forehead to check if he was coming on with a fever. Couples in his age group had not said it for so long. It seemed so unnecessary.

Prem was clutching on to the armrest of his chair, and then it was his turn to speak. He broke down as the trainer approached him. The session was hurriedly adjourned. The trainer took Prem to his cabin,  and ordered tea for him, giving him space to calm down.

“Would you like to say something, Prem?”

“Yes. But I will address the group. Each parent needs to understand the long-lasting influence that they have on their child’s life”.

The audience was spellbound with Prem’s newly discovered oratory skills, as his voice reverberated across the small room.

“You need to give love to get it. Fearing the emotion will never allow you to experience it. Fatherhood washed away the wounds of my childhood. I stand liberated, and free to love.”


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