The Lost Child

Below is the feelings of a mother who lost her child. Haniya is the name of a girl child who died in a tub full of water.  

Haniya! How many days have you had come to me? You opened your eyes in this beautiful world on 19th of August 2018 at Obaid Hospital, Riyadh, Saudia Arabia. Do you know how excited I was after giving birth to you? You have no idea about my happiness, Haniya! When I got you, I forgot the entire 9 months pregnancy stage as I haven't faced any problems and pains. My world had changed after getting you. I used to be happy in my world with you, Haniya! After a few minutes of your birth, when a nurse took you from my side into a room under special care then your father asked me, Can you recognize our daughter(Haniya) among hundreds of the children who are in the same room? After listening to my answer that Yes I will recognize my daughter, your father was surprised. 

You know, what was your position in 10 months 16 days in my eyes? You had become my heartbeat. My heart was beating with your heartbeat, breathing with your breath. If you were asleep, I was asleep. If you woke up, then I woke up. I cried on your cry, laughed at your laugh. I felt happy with your happiness and your smile took me to the culmination of cheerfulness. When you used to crawl with your tiny hands and come towards me, I used to feel the entire wealth of the world is in my hands. You know your father used to sleep at the night to go to the office in the morning and if you didn't sleep for some reasons, I used to wake up several times throughout the night, Haniya!

You were a clotted piece of my blood and later on covered with flesh and you got a soul inside it. After a complete period of 9 months, I brought you into this outer world. From then feeding, clothing and everything were my responsibilities. I took all care of you. It was my desire the whole life I will look after you and when you will attain the age of marriage, I will get you to marry an honest and educated boy.

These were my feelings, plans, and expressions for you. Haniya! You murdered my all hopes and desires. You broke the relation with me in a moment.

You know when you were of 7 months, we all came to India with you. After a few months, your father went back to Saudia Arabia for work by leaving you all with me. From then you all children were my life. Feeding, bathing, talking, clothing to you all were the work of my life and I had become acclimatized of this.

But, What did you do Haniya?

On Friday evening around 6 pm, when you crawled with Hesham and Rehab (brother & sister) from one room, I thought you are going to another room but you didn't go there instead went to the bathroom. And sadly I couldn't see you. After a few minutes when I searched to bottle-feed you, I found you nowhere. I went to the bathroom with a suspected mind.

After watching you with down head in the tub full of water, I was aghast and felt as ground slipped under my feet. Oh God! My breathing stopped. I tried crying but couldn't cry. I tried uttering but my tongue had lost its strength. After listening to my weak frighten voice, people run away to me. They took you (Haniya) from my arms and ran towards the doctor but Haniya it was too late. Doctors declared you brought dead. You had taken your last breath inside the tub full of water. Oh, Haniya!....... Oh, Haniya!...... Oh, Haniya!......... 

I am broken after your sudden death. I am not in the position to decide what to do and what not to do? I feel the darkness only. After listening to this tragedy, your father arrived in India very soon. It is intolerable pain for him too but hiding this depression he is placating our entire family.

My Haniya, with your detachment the dejection I felt was so deep that I was very near to commit something unusual. But be sacrifices on the teaching of religion Islam which teaches us you (Haniya) have become my treasure of the next world. You on doomsday will request to Almighty God (Allah) for my recommendation to Jannah (Heaven). We have faith in the next world and shall meet together and will start a new life there along with your father.

This hope gave me patience and made me fatalistic.

Your miserable Mom...

Note: This is a real incident that happened with the friend of my eldest brother Mr. Maaz. Both live in Saudia Arabia, Riyadh.

My heart goes out to you (brother's friend) and your family at this difficult time.