The Decision

Indira was my best friend and the mother of one, her only son DIXIT was hyper active and naughty, he was upto some or the other pranks every other day. When ever I met Indira I could make out that she was feeling down and disappointed. 

One day I gathered the courage and asked her, “Why are you keeping low?”

It was then she told about her true and real feelings. She told me how her mind was flooding with thoughts like DIXIT was all alone, he did not have a sibling, he did not have a sibling with whom he can play and share his feelings. This thought of DIXIT being alone troubled me more than anything.

I told her in that case, you should plan for having another kid,

She immediately told “ No , it's not an easy task, she mentioned about the problems she encountered during DIXIT's pergnancy.” She told,“I had non-stop vomittings till nine months and even the doctor termed me as anemic as I had become weak and reduced my weight during his pregnancy, nothing stayed in my stomach, as soon as I consumed food I used to vomit, I was worried as to how my little one would be in my womb without eating anything. Even the doctor was worried as to how the kid would be inside, she asked me to get the scanning done and fortunately by God's grace the kid was having proper weight and was doing well. As I was having frequent vomits I was losing my strength and stamina. I was counting days as to when I will deliver the baby and when I will resume being a normal human being. By my fifth month I had become very very lean but for a bulging stomach. I was not sure about my survival itself, I had to bear this for another four months. Days were like months and months were like years for me.

One day my cousin came to meet me, as soon as I saw her tears rolled out my eyes , she asked what happened to you? You are such a brave girl. I immediately mentioned about my condition, she shared and induced positive thoughts into me and also told me 'If you bear the bitter pain now, you will have a cute little baby in your hands after 9 months. Her words were very encouraging. Then again I had the monthly doctor checkup, there was scanning as usual, doctor gave me iron tablets and also tablets for stopping vomittings, even the doctor felt bad on my condition as nothing stayed in my stomach, she told me that my baby was surviving on water and air, I felt very very bad on my condition. I always loved to eat but unfortunately during my pregnacy “I could not eat”. My baby was not lucky enough to have nutritional food. I also quit my job as I could no longer bear the so called pregnancy torture. I had nausea and vommitings through out the day. After some days I developed a feeling “Why ever should I eat, what is the use of eating”, since the intensity of vomittings increased. The tablets prescribed by the doctor also did not serve the purpose. The day finally arrived when I entered the ninth month. I suddenly developed hiccups, these hiccups were there through out the night. We immediately met the doctor, the doctor monitored me and advised to go for cesarean operation and not a normal delivery as I would not withstand the pain. The doctor suggested a date and finally the day arrived. I wore a yellow dress on that day as I wanted my baby to be as bright as a sun. The operation went on fine and finally I delivered a baby boy, I thought my baby would be underweight but the doctor told he weighed 2.91 kgs which was supposed to be a very good weight. After seeing my complications the doctor advised, "Please, give a gap of 3-4 years before you think of conceving another baby."

After hearing Indira's story, I felt very sorry for her. I always had thought her to be lucky for having a handsome son, but never knew the hard story behind it.

I told her “Please think twice, before you take any decision, take a good and better decision because you have to take care of DIXIT also. You cannot risk your life again.

She answered, the same thoughts are pondering in my mind also, whether I have to take care of myself or take a bold decision of delivering another baby. This would be a precious gift which I can give DIXIT.

It was very dark and we departed to our homes, and we became busy in our day to day activities.

I did not meet Indira for a long time, one day I decided to meet her in her house. I finally went to her house. I asked Indira how she was feeling?

She told me the days were not good for her, she had been battling between two thoughts whether or not to go for it. She told me how thoughts on DETERMINATION, SUCCESS, RISK kept flooding her mind. She thought of being determined and taking risk of becoming a mother yet another time. She always believed in “Survival of the fittest”, but in reality she felt it was too difficult. She told me that she frequently dreamed of DIXIT playing with his younger one. She told me that her intensity of dreams became soo heavy that her mind could no longer hold them. She did not want her dreams to be a culprit for her heart and mind, as they were sensitive and would be lying in subconciously, without her knowledge. Again she returned to her true self and did not want to take risk but be happy and healthy with what she was having. She told me that it was her hard kept secret which she had shared only to me. With her dreams close to her heart she wanted to come to a conclusion. A conclusion whether she has to go for it or no.

I thought, like there are two sides for a coin, her dreams also had its own pros and cons.

Pros were, what if she had the same pregnency problems which she experienced during DIXIT's delivery, what impact will it have on her health, in that case she would not be able to take care of DIXIT properly.

Cons were, DIXIT will have a younger one with whom he will play and share his feelings, going forward also.

I always wanted INDIRA to take a better decision, a decision which will keep her entire family happy and I suggested the same to her.

I thought I had provided my suggestions to Indira and left.

Then one day Indira's friend Bharthi came to meet her. Bharthi, a mother of two - one boy and a girl. As soon as Indira met her a pinch of pain passed through her. She saw how the two kids were playing together, even she wanted someone like that for DIXIT, but alas she thought it was a dream unrealized, she pitied herself on her condition.

After that incident Indira did not come out, she was confined to her work and home, she did not want anyone to harm her mind and heart. She kept to herself. She wanted to take up a decision, and did not want to procastinate any longer. The fight between her mind and dream continued and no winner was declared among them, as each one of them had a point to prove every time. She could no longer withstand this dilemma, she wanted to judge a winner soon. But alas she was not a judge but she definitely knew there could not be a better judge than herself for her life.

The day arrived when she came to me and told she had made up her mind and had taken a decision, a better one indeed. I wanted to hear her so called THE Decision. I wanted to hear it as fast as possible, I could not wait.

She told me her decision “I want to be a mom, sibling and friend to my DIXIT, I want to give my best to my child and do not want to leave any stone unturned. I am satisfied and happy with god for giving me atleast one child with whom I can be everything. I want to be all in one for my one and only son.

I was very much convinced by her decision, for she had taken a good one and a decision taken after looking into all the aspects, I felt very very happy for her.

From then on as the situation demanded, she was a mother, sibling and friend to her son, DIXIT. She used to teach like a mom, play like a sibling and speak and listen to her son like a friend.

And thus the days continued happily for Indira.