The Backstabbed Seller

I was walking along the coastline of the one of the finest and calm beaches of Varkala in the beauty of Kerala, God’s own country as said by locals over there and one of them was Ramu, a banana seller.
 
In the morning sun, he glanced at me as if I was some kind of an alien and in the evening he caught me smiling with his long mustache. When my flight landed in the vicinity of coconut trees I had never imagined about my meeting with this wonderful man who gave himself for me.
 
Walking along the coast of Varkala, sun rose as if it has never appeared, people, some dark, some white and some like me, saw it to feel its warmth which Ramu gave me when his hands first touched my feet, his 18-year-old youth admired my beauty and I loved the way he behaved.
I knew he wanted something else from me, something physical but he never said despite came bowing towards me and said, “Madam, these..e are fo..r you”, his English although not perfect but his voice soothed my entire body.
 
It was the last week of my stay in Kerala and I wanted Ramu to come with me and offered him something he wanted, intimacy, not against any will of mine or his but mutual understanding waved a path between both of us which was although unacceptable in this world but love is far away from the age difference, although I was 32, divorced woman I needed a man who would have loved me like the man I had in my life.
 
“Would you come with me?”, I asked Ramu kissing him on his cheeks and his face grew red like an apple which I wanted to eat that very moment but he ran away. The next morning we met and shared a moment which I would never forget, he said to me,"I will cr..y whe.n.. yo.. leave, madam”
and held my hand between his which were becoming manly with tiny hair and I soothed it saying,”You don’t need to cry, come with me, we will live together and your life would be better than the tasks whatever you are currently doing here.”
 
And he said a harsh sequence which made put me to shame in front of the little man, “Madam, did I ev..r say tha..t I lov...e you, I gu..ess no, to which it means th..at you lo..ve me not I lo..ve you. I am a mere bana..na sell..er and you are a ric..h beauty with nothing less to achie..ve, you wan...t my body...but I want your heart, you wan...t to kiss...me but I wan..t to feel, you need a man....to fulfill your wishes and I althou..gh growing up nee...d the same but with th...e person who lov..es me, my cul...ture”
 
He further added, ”Do you rem...ember the day when a ma...n came following you.. and I noti...ced but when I saw hi...s han..d on your arms my..heart shattered to bits and I ra..n away, you don.t love me mad’am”
 
He began crying and our lips locked making me to realize my mistake for this banana seller who incapable of speaking my language made me to learn the language of realization.
 
He told me a truth which I never accepted my whole life that my only need was physical intimacy not love, my ex-husband left me because I forced him to have unique kind of sexual intimacies with me and despite of his resistance I never obliged to have it end and finally he ended our relationship.
 
Whenever I see a man I crave for touch, his feel, the tiniest of the hairline my smooth skin can feel, his beard shadowing my face and my thoughts of spending nights within his arms.
 
Before leaving Kerala, I met a pshycologist in his 40s who examined my condition to be in severe stage of Nymphomania where my sexual craving had no end and my lust could not be controlled.
While he examined me I tried to touch his neck grasping it within my arms and he allowed it despite of our meeting as a patient and a doctor. He showed his bare body in front of me and I longed for him dying to sense every impulse for fulfilling my desire of his flesh but he tied me with some clothes and increased my craving.
My resistance found no limits and finally I subsided when he did not pay any heed to me. My treatment a technique called psychodynamic psychotherapy continued for weeks and I felt changes in my body.
The lust decreased, desire to crave any body died off and my mind unleashed normally when I saw myself travelling with the banana seller alongside my seat when the flight landed in New York.