Slice

SLICE

 

“Do I have underwear at your place? And a top?”

“Not sure about underwear, have to check. Maybe that soft orange one is here. Don’t remember, really. I’ll give you a fresh and clean one of mine tomorrow.”

“Hmph. Your undies have a cock sack type of bulge. And they are too big for me.”

“Arey, you will be wearing your trousers over that, so what’s the problem.”

“Last time I wore that grey Jockey of yours, it kept sliding, despite my pants being belted. Felt very uncomfortable in office…so loose they are. You first confirm whether my underwear is at your place or not. Only then I’ll come.”

“Uff. Bitch, come okay. You are making lame excuses. Come, it is 8:30 already. Monday tomorrow. Come soon na, I am hungry. We’ll eat, cuddle and sleep.”

“I’ll think about it ..”

“Bitc.. Sweetheart, I said sorry already, come now please, don’t do this. Get into an auto this instant.”

“Okay, okay ..”

“How long will you take?”

“hmm. Shouldn’t be more than 45 mins. Sunday na, no traffic.”

“Get a couple of chicken tikka rolls from that shop.”

“..baby ..”

“Ya ok ok. Healthy food, clean diet. Come now. Bye”

………………….

“What took you so long! It is 10 pm!”

“There was some unexpected traffic on S V road, okay. Plus, parcel took time.”

“what parcel?”

“Your chicken tikka rolls, asshole.”

“You dint have to get.. haha”

“Oh puhleez.. look at that wide grin on your face, I bet in two minutes you will start rummaging my bag if I don’t take the parcel out. Sweetheart .. you bhi na ..”

“*forehead kiss* Come let’s eat soon. Have a match in 30 mins.”

“What?! The fuck ..! The plan was to relax and sleep. You should have told me na if there’s a match, now what, you expect me to wait for you till your stupid match is over.”

“please please .. I thought the match is tomorrow, dint know it is scheduled tonight. Nitin told me abhi, I swear.”

“Dude, do you realise this is the third time you are pulling this trick on me. It’s not funny man. It can’t be a mistake each time. You make plans, you call me home, and then you are like, ‘imp match hai’. Seriously, wh..”

“..I really dint know, yaa. And it is no trick, trust me. You know how spaced out I am sometimes. Please now.”

“Whatever, bitch. Do what you want. This is the last time I am coming here, I swear. Fucking asshole.”

“..babe..”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!”

“.. my pumpkin ..”

“GET ME A PLATE AND A TISSUE”

…………….

“What’s the name of this eatery again? Heavenly rolls man..”

“Ayaz’s kebab or something” 

“Let’s go next weekend and hog there.”

“It’s a little take away place re. No dine in option.”

“oh.. will they deliver to the suburbs?”

“kya pata, check Zomato”

“hmm ..”

“Here, take mine.. finish it”

“ ..babe ..come on, don’t do that sacrificial mom bit again. Just because I like the roll. I am satisfied with one okay. You have it.”

“Arey, I am really full. No sacrifice or anything, honest. Help me ya”

“..but you hardly ate. More than half is left. Eat bitch.”

“Arey baba, I ate with them .. Just before you called, we were hogging at Hawaiian Shack .. please finish the roll babe.”

“Why did you bring two then? Should have got one only. And who hogs at Hawaiian Shack, people go to drink and dance there. Weird friends you have.”

“Food is surprisingly good there. That tandoor smell from the eatery tempted me to get two. Have it na babe..*cheek kiss*”

“You always do this. Don’t complain if you get hungry in two hours. I am not gonna wake up and boil milk for your hungry ass again.”

“I won’t baba, you eat okay.”

*knock on the door*  * ..muffled voice … ‘match started, you coming?’ …*

“Go go, your darling friends await your presence.”

“Shit, will you hate me for this?”

“You’ll be checking the score all the time anyway. Better go and watch it live in the hall.”

“*lip kiss* you are the best .. I’ll be back during half time okay.”

“Ya ya .. you smell of raw onions btw. Brush or gargle or something dude. Don’t kill your flatmates.”

…………..

“..sweetie.. you awake?”

“..umm.. how was the match?”

“We lost dude. Shit man. 5 matches in a row we lost!”

“aaww my baby, it’s okay, come here.”

“Can I switch on the light for a bit?”

“ ..um ..”

“ Shitty meeting tomorrow.. shitty match tonight..”

“ ..what meeting? Is your boss back?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“ ..um, okay okay. But come now, it’s late. Switch off the light, will you.”

“Gosh, you are so warm and cozy..”

“ummmmm”

“Weekends are too short man ..”

“True that, but you need to take the matches easy dude. Relax okay”

“hmm. You should have come here yesterday”

“I was mad at you, remember. You should have said sorry yesterday”

“Ya ya. My silly bitch ..”

“ ..umm..”

“Things will be okay, na?”

“ya babe .. try to sleep now babe, Monday hai kal.”

“Wish I could take a sabbatical and go back home for a long, long time.”

“We decided to earn enough money then quit our jobs, right. We’ll travel then.”

“But that’s long term. Feel like a loser in that fucked up place called office, every day.”

“.. sweetheart .. you’re having pre-Monday jitters, that’s it. *kissing, caressing*”

“ ..hmm..”

“Just for some money, we stress so much na.. but look at the material luxury it brings us. Irony of life! ..

.. wonder who are the people who are truly happy? Is it our parents, our grandparents? What is happiness anyway .. Not one person our age seems content with their lives. Pata nai what wi.. ASSHOLE, YOU SLEPT, dint you?”

“ …mm.. no no .. happiness, ya ya ..”

“Waking me up and sleeping yourself. Hmph!”

“ .. Monday ..sleep..”

………..

“ ..what happened. Unable to sleep?”

“Baby .. don’t get mad ..”

“What is it?? Are you bleeding ..?”

“no no no”

“Bol phir ..”

“ ..baby .. I am hungry ..”

…………

End of story

 

Legend of Hindi words, in order of appearance–

You Bhi na- ‘Sweet, You!’

Abhi – Right now

Hai – In this context, ‘there is an important match’

Kya pata – it means, ‘I am not aware’

Arey – Akin to ‘Hey’, ‘Oi’

Arey Baba – A patient and controlled ‘my dear’

Bol phir -  Out with it