Shireen

Mumbai rains were new for Shireen. Although, she had stayed in many other cities before, Mumbai had a unique way of pushing one to carry on with life without much of unnecessary break. Be it with its forceful monsoon winds, or the gushing sea that seemed to wash everything off the shore, at least for a good amount of time, even if those would get carried back by the drift later. During one such evening, with gusty winds blowing along with a heavy downpour, Shireen along with Rikta, managed to reach the study area of their B-school , huddled under a single umbrella, as they walked from their girls' hostel.

It was the first week for their MBA batch. The entire batch had been divided into random groups of 5-6 students, who were supposed to finish some assignments. Shireen and Rikta had only met each other once before this. They had a chance to meet Prashant and Gourav briefly. There were two more guys in their group….Arya and Pradeep; about whom they had absolutely no idea. “All of you please get your laptops” : read the reminder SMS that Arya had sent out before their meeting. That was the only communication Shireen and Rikta had had so far with him.

After reaching the venue, while Rikta got busy in closing the umbrella, Shireen went ahead trying to figure out where their group members were sitting. She could spot Gourav sitting; and proceeded. There were two more boys with him. One was standing with his back towards Shireen, partly covering the face of another one who was sitting beside Gourav. Those two would be Arya and Pradeep, thought Shireen.

“Hi this is Pradeep ,” said the chirpy guy who was standing , turning towards Shireen. By this time Rikta had also joined.

“Hi Pradeep, Shireen here, nice meeting you,” Shireen smiled , and bent towards the other boy who had been sitting hidden behind Pradeep. He lifted his face, and smiled at Shireen as Pradeep moved aside.

World seemed to stop for Shireen, with the entire scenario seemingly playing itself in slow motion, as Shireen continued staring at the vanilla-white face with high, cheek bones and big, brown eyes. His hair fluttered over his forehead, under the reminiscent breeze that reached the study area from the winds blowing outside. “Hi, I’m Arya,” he said, standing up, towering Shireen by quite a few inches with his tall frame, shaking his hand with her.

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A few weeks later, on the last night of the three days college trip to Lonavala, Rikta, Pradeep and Gourav pulled Shireen to come down and party with them while Shireen was packing her bag for their trip back to Mumbai. Once they were downstairs, Rikta, Pradeep and Gourav left by giving some excuse, leaving Arya and Shireen alone. Arya asked Shireen to come for a walk with him. Amidst the mysterious hills wrapped under heavy monsoon clouds, Shireen could see her dream come true. They started talking at 12 midnight. It was 5 am when Shireen told in some context, “I don’t like to depend on any one else. I like to be independent.”, and Arya could finally grab the opportunity, pause her and ask “will you try depending on me, please?” What followed was a whirlwind of romance between the two spirits. Although Shireen had somehow known they both were meant to be, she hadn’t expected it would work out all according to her dream, without even her trying for it. It was all too good to be true.

“You dance really well,” Arya had complimented Shireen, after a stage performance of hers at college, “so what else do you like to do?” he asked, in their initial days of getting to know each other. Shireen had been trained in dancing for years. In her tall, slim yet strong frame, she used to easily be the eye-catcher even while dancing in group on stage. Her long wavy black hair swayed close to her firm, slender waist; while she made her moves like a professional choreographer. Her large eyes could be prominently seen even by the last row of audience, enabling her facial expression further assist in making her dance stand out.

A flattered Shireen replied, in her uplifted spirit, “Thanks Arya! You know I also like to write.”

“Hahahahaha!” Arya laughed, interrupting Shireen who paused pretty much taken aback by this unexpected reaction,” Oh God! sorry, Shireen, sorry about that. But you know you remind me of this Bengali lady in my last office. She too used to keep telling she wanted to become a writer. Seriously? What’s with these Bengali people, and their writing? I can’t imagine what’ll happen if all of you start writing at one go!”

“Ya,funny,” Shireen managed to reply, with a baffled smile on her face. Okay, that wasn’t the kind of response she was prepared for. But then it was just an innocent joke. So what, if she didn’t find it funny? What was more important was that, she could make Arya laugh! That spontaneous laughter on his face made him look even more adorable. Shireen could easily die for watching another round of that.

“I think, Shireen, there are a couple of girls in my division who kind of,you know die for me,” Arya had told chuckling one day, as he drove his bike with Shireen behind.

Shireen had been resting her head on his shoulder, inhaling the intoxicating smell of Arya. She lifted her head with a jolt. “What do you mean? Who?” she asked, perplexed, not knowing what else to answer since she had never before had such a weird conversation with any of her previous boyfriends.

“That Avantika in my division for sure! She isn’t very happy I’m going out with you. And Tina, as well, I guess,” Arya said.

“And why should that be a topic of discussion or concern for any of us?” Shireen asked.

“Hey! Oh God Shireen! you overthink! I was just saying something for time pass. You have been silent for long, that’s why,” Arya answered cheerfully.

“Hmm.” Shireen replied, agreeing that even in past she had been told by others that she had the habit of overthinking. She was happy that Arya was trying to engage her in a conversation. That meant he enjoyed talking to her, right? Agreed, the topic he picked up was a bit stupid one. But that’s okay, he hadn’t thought through. And wasn’t he stating the obvious? Of course girls would be after him! He was an alumnus of one of the top three engineering institutes of the country, he had the looks of a Hollywood actor. “I should be proud of him”, Shireen thought, as she buried her head back to his neck, inhaling his fragrance.

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“Okay okay, shhh!! now listen to this,” Arya told the bunch of boys sitting in his hostel room, trying to shush their mixed chattering; with some laughing, some saying they are bored of listening and want to watch movie, while some still patting Arya’s back, “Arya, no matter how much anger had been brewed in my heart today, I still was dying to steal a kiss from your rain-soaked lips.Hahahaha, I mean who writes all these? They don’t even enter my head!”

Arya and Shireen had gotten into a fight earlier that day. He had told Shireen that he would take her out for viewing the sunset at Juhu. But after Shireen was ready to leave, he informed her that he had been pulled into a basketball match by his friends. She was upset. She yelled at him. Then she gave up the idea of sunset and agreed to go out for dinner. At the restaurant, the security guard misbehaved with Arya, cursing him for getting his bike to the wrong area. Arya looked shocked at his harsh words. Trying to support Arya, Shireen backed him up by raising her voice against the guard,

“Bhaiya, he is talking to you like a gentleman, right? Then why are you raising your voice so much? Why can’t you relax and put your point across?” She told him sternly. The guard softened his tone and asked Arya to park his bike at the right spot.

“Okay, so what we fought in the evening! I should stand by him, support him when he needs me. Isn’t that what love is all about?” Shireen had told herself, secretly contended that, she could show Arya how much she loved him, despite a quarrelsome evening. However, her bubble was burst almost as instantly as it was formed, by Arya’s yelling right after he parked his vehicle, in front of the same guard ; “Who asked you to say anything to anyone on my behalf? You’re a girl, be a girl. I was doing the talking, wasn’t I?”

Shireen had been puzzled, hurt and quiet for the rest of their dinner. Only after coming back to her room, she decided to pour her heart out in a thoughtfully crafted emotional message to Arya. “ When you’re out of words to express yourself verbally, writing is best ! That’s why love letters did exist,” she had thought, after sending it to Arya, “He might have behaved that way out of anger today. I hope he realises how much I actually love him by reading this.”

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Shireen had cried herself to sleep for nights, after Arya had left her, out of the blue. She poured her heart out to her roommates Aneesha and Ishita over their drinking session in hostel, she wept silently in the night so that they won’t get disturbed, she felt her eyes swelling up automatically while she tried taking notes in class, or while trying to read a book in library. Arya dumped her on the day of Dusshera, exactly a week before her birthday, and amidst exams. She had submitted blank sheets for two of the exams that happened between their break-up and her birthday. She got drunk with her room mates on her birthday, and went for her cake-cutting, trying to set aside the thoughts about how she had earlier day dreamt of getting fed the first cake piece by Arya. “Doesn’t matter..I have my friends with me now”, Shireen thought, trying to cheer herself up. But as she reached the place, she saw Arya standing there with her friends. Shireen had stopped speaking to Arya after giving up on crying and trying to convince him to come back. She had asked him not to get in touch with her, as otherwise that would hinder her healing.

“Yyoou? Whoaai are you here?” asked a drunk Shireen.

“Hey! happy birthday Shireen,” Arya smiled,”I know it’s awkward. I didn’t want to come ! I know it’s hard for you, but all my friends pulled me “

Shireen was about to start swooning over that killer smile all over again, while Aneesha pulled her aside and scorned,” Why are you talking to him? He’s anyways lying.He called me up and told me he wanted to come for your birthday. We asked him not to come, to avoid uncomfortable situations. But, he insisted we let him. He’s messed up, Shireen! he doesn’t even have the decency to say he has come on his will. Just focus on the cake. We got a red velvet for you!”

“You are neither talking to him, nor texting him,” Ishita told Shireen,” This boy doesn’t have basic knowledge about privacy. He used to read out your private messages to his friends and laugh,Pradeep told me.”

Gathering her senses, as Shireen went ahead to cut the cake, the “happy birthday” song seemed to be like a mourning to her buzzed ears.

For several weeks, Shireen couldn’t gather enough emotional courage to walk around the college campus, as she feared coming across Arya, especially with some other girl. She also felt that she won’t be able to walk by the lake side area where she often met Arya.Those seats below the tree,the benches would brutally remind her of the late nights when Arya used to passionately claim her to be his. She would only go to class and walk back to her hostel room, bolting herself in. She didn’t know how long this would last. But some thing inside her kept telling, it was okay. It felt okay to indulge in crying, self-pitying and mourning. She knew one day she herself would get bored of all the crying and look for the next best thing to do. But she didn’t know when that time would come. So for now, she would weep.

Then one fine day, it happened. Suddenly, just like a switch getting pressed, Shireen didn’t feel as bad waking up in the morning. All these days , Shireen had made sure she had decked up properly even while stepping out of room for going for just one class. She didn’t want to leave a chance on any external factor to make her happy. She knew that if nothing else, at least her own reflection on the mirror would make her feel good. This morning, as she woke up, she decided to take a little bit of extra care on her fitness too. Her morning yoga had anyways gotten disrupted as she had been sulking. So, she decided to start going for jogging. She chose the path such that she would be running along the lake side. She needed to overcome her emotional attachment.

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Within a few weeks, instead of just one mere round, Shireen found herself taking more than three rounds of the campus. Soon, she started coming across a few more batchmates of hers as well. “We got inspired by you and started jogging”, grinned Gourav once , panting, as he came across Shireen. “Shireen, I saw you go for jogging even during placement season, and you were also among the first few to get placed. How did you even manage? I mean; how did you have this dedication towards fitness amidst all the stresses of placement?” one junior girl had asked her. When jogging seemed something she had gotten too used to, Shireen started waking up early to hit the gym as well. A strict fitness regime, toned body, trained mind and a dream job later, Shireen realised how complete and happy she was, in her life. She had dodged a bullet in life, by actually being a strong survivor of Narcissistic abuse, a common, yet not-so-easily noticed symptoms in toxic relationships. Shireen had taken her time, and re-built herself from her crushed self, and her newly emerged form was amazingly strong, and beautiful. It was only then, that she realised she was independent in true sense, and wouldn’t give in to just any one pleading her to “depend on him”. She didn’t NEED any one else to make her happy. She was happy from within, happy being on her own, and was happy enough to make others happy.

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“So I’ve seen your dance and song videos, they’re amazing!” Abhishek told Shireen.

“Thanks,” said Shireen curtly, while checking out the menu at the café, as she no more fell for these compliments, “ Red wine for me” she smiled.

“Sure,” Abhishek replied, “ So..what else do you like to do? I won’t be surprised if you’re hiding away other talents. As it is you’ve studied in some of the top five colleges for both engineering and MBA, you’re multi-talented!”

“Well,” Shireen said, with a pause,” I like to write at times”

“That’s interesting Madam!” Abhishek lifted his face from the menu card and told, “You should pursue that passion as well! Have you considered writing blogs or on some e-magazine? Well! I’ll forward you some links today after I go home.”

Abhishek’s rosy white complexioned face with rich, black beard and moustache, glowed with genuine excitement as he uttered those words, while Shireen stared at his glistening eyes behind those serious spectacles, with his short yet wavy hair playing across his forehead. Qualification; was anyways a number one criteria for Shireen in arranged marriage. So Abhishek himself had his engineering and MBA from two of the best colleges in India. Shireen, however, couldn’t tell if it was because of the wine or not, but she could swear she had never seen a man more handsome than him.

A couple of months later, one night; Abhishek sat on bed at Shireen’s flat, leaning against the pillow, while watching a movie, with Shireen relaxing her head on his chest. They had finished some initial shopping for their wedding that evening, and had decided to spend the night at her place.

When the movie was over, Shireen lifted her head slightly up and brushed her lips against Abhishek’s. She traced her finger from his hair to his temple, and removed his spectacles. Just when she knew what she was doing, Abhishek held her arms firmly, turned over her and made her lie on her back on the bed.

“You’re a woman, you’re my lady,” he told a startled Shireen,” you don’t have to make your way towards it,” he said; imitating her earlier act and tracing his finger from her hair to the temple,” you only have to order me, Your Highness!! and I’ll be at your service!” Abhishek said, lowering his lips to her neck, while slowly rolling over to make her lie on his side, as she rested her arms across his chest more firmly.

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Close to a year later, Shireen woke up, with her arms across Abhishek’s chest, to the loud alarm ringing by their bedside.

“Abhishek get up!,” She nudged him, putting off the alarm.

“Hmmm,” groaned Abhishek, trying to pull her back, “five more minutes”.

“ Very well, mister ! I have no problem. But if we miss the flight to Kolkata, we won’t make it to your first Jamai-Shoshthi “, Shireen reminded playfully, trying to free herself from his sleepy grip. (Jamai Shoshthi is a ritual in West Bengal where the mother-in-law would treat her son-in-law to grand feast, and pray for the well-being of her daughter and son-in-law as a couple…basically, yet another excuse for people in Kolkata to gorge on delicious meals)

“Oh damn! no I can’t afford that dear! I can’t afford to miss out on Mummyji’s awesome recipes!,” Abhishek said, trying to sound concerned.” Okay…but, just five minutes, please ! ” he still begged, “you go start getting ready, I’ll wake up in five minutes I promise, and take a shower.”

“Yeah fine, I’m not taking you unless you take a bath,” warned Shireen. Looking at the clock once again, she thought for a second and lay back, burying her face in Abhishek’s neck, with her arms across his chest.

“Now,what’s happening?” questioned Abhishek.

”Just five minutes,” answered Shireen, while she inhaled his raw, intoxicating fragrance before, he would get rid of it by taking a shower.