She And I
She And I3 mins 148 3 mins 148
There she stood, eyeing me suspiciously, reading my mind and trying to gauge if I would do what she expected me to or if I was going to shock her again with something. But, how did it matter? I always did what my instincts told me. Well, you see, following the heart was never an issue rather it seemed the right thing to do. But today when I stood there, the defiance in me was paralysed and I could not bring myself to match her piercing gaze. And how could I, after all, I had let her down miserably.
Years ago, I made a promise, a promise not meant to be broken ever. Some things had to be kept sacrosanct and this was one of them. It was the day when I stood with a knife and she found me, a trembling girl of sixteen trying to do the unfathomable. She was not surprised but dismayed yet she didn't judge me. She didn't read out a list of dos and don'ts that everyone was used to sputtering back then, and now too. She just held my hand and reminded me of all the beautiful things I would miss out, how it would devastate everyone who held me dear. She asked me if the escape was worth all the pain I would inflict and all the experiences I would miss. That is when I knew giving up was an alternative but definitely not the best one. After all, I couldn't be sure to get another chance to set things right and even if I would, who's to say it wouldn't end up the same way. And a silent pact was made and set in stone.
Over the years, the memory of that day became faint but what remained bright as the sun were the last few words I had uttered, "I won't give up ever." All these years metamorphosed that trembling sixteen-year-old into a confident and independent woman. The only thing that remained constant was this woman standing in front. But life had come a full circle and now it was this independent woman who faltered. It wasn't one of those days when I could look into her eyes and come up with a thousand justifications and if nothing worked, a mere "at least, I won't regret not trying it out" would. It wasn't one of those days when both of us would be two different pages of the same book, pages that complete the story.
Today she wasn't able to understand the person standing in front of her. Someone she had known all her life had slowly become alien to her. As her suspicious gaze gave way to an accusing one, I could no longer contain myself. I fell to my knees and broke down. Not surprisingly, she gave me company. When the tears dried, the sense of familiarity regained and I knew it was time to start again. I owed it to her. I raised my hand to reach out to her and so did she. I repeated the golden words from that fateful day and so did she. The similarities were neither striking nor unnerving. As they both turned away to switch off the lights and call it a day, the mirror smiled. It had, after all, again reunited the two.