STORYMIRROR

Debasish Dey

Inspirational

4  

Debasish Dey

Inspirational

My Journey

My Journey

50 mins
300


Chapter one 


I am Anuradha of 63, and elders called me Anu in my childhood, for twenty-two thousand nine hundred ninety-five hours of my eternal journey has an elicited story in every turning.

My childhood was an agony of fragmented incidents, which persists in my memory with distinct existence, not because of being a child who lost her mother in the early days of life, but because I was born in such a family where the members lived with superstition.

I was born in a Bengali Brahmin family in north- Kolkata, and with the progression of my age and the advancement of conscience, I found myself within a spiritual frame of orthodoxy - a frame of ritualistic practices, penance, hymns, and chanting with a mixed smell of incense sticks and resin smoke from morning to night created a mystic environment that trapped my childhood and, swallowed all the good things which I could have achieved.

Before I could sense the reality, they dragged me into it and started to train me in their way like a robot.

They ignored my conscience, even my schooling and started teaching me how to prepare offerings for god and blow a conch or to produce the ulu sound and all technical parts for worshipping.

My father was the first one in our family who felt the importance of education and admitted me to a school, which was the first turning point in my life and was possible only because of my father, who was like a shield in my life and protected me from all the unconstitutional laws of life.

I grew up in such a time when we had no mobile phones, computers or TVs, even though we had no idea about these devices.

The only window through which we could breathe the air of the rest of the world was a radio set that the children were not allowed to use, placed on a high self, beyond the reach of the children.

So, for these reasons, in my childhood, I was growing up just a human-like creature, not a perfect human.

Since sixteen members of our family lived under the same roof, all women were busy cooking meals and other household jobs for the whole day.

It was as if they were born to dedicate themselves to these purposes.

They had no requirement to collect books and not even cosmetics.

Investing money to buy a book was an extravagance to them because they had no time for it.

However, I contributed my service to help them in the kitchen silently to avoid an unpleasant argument.

If they found a mistake, they started showering knowledge on me.

Sometimes, their attitude turned so dominating that I felt exhausted.

Everything was going this way, but when I was only ten, the turmoil in my life started.

                                     

I was passing through the transition period between childhood and teenage when I had no idea about adolescence but could sense it with the changes in my body - an unprecedented change appeared like an undesirable guest in my life, and I miraculously grew up overnight. That was the most unpleasant incident for me.

I remember that early morning, everybody was in a deep sleep, and darkness prevailed outside when I felt a sticky feeling in the bed that compelled me to wake up and to put the light on early in the morning when I found myself blood-stained, that frightened and undesirable sight paused me for a moment there to think it seemed to me that it was a disease in my private part, I may die, and if I, who will look after my father? It was intolerable for a girl like me who had never seen her mother and had no one to seek clarification from.

I could not restrain myself from going to him.

Standing beside his bed, I hesitatingly called him.

After two or three times, he responded, opening his eyes worriedly.

Seeing me standing silently at the bedside, he tried to guess the reason and finally understood.

He said in an assuring tone," Do not worry, it is normal, happens to every girl, go to the washroom to clean yourself before I explain it,"

He explained, and I discovered a different father in him who acted like a mother to advise me about the hygienic part that should follow during the period every month, which helped me to get confidence.

I never disturbed him again because I could feel his embarrassing situation to explain me everything, though he managed it skillfully. As I was born into a joint family, I never felt the absence of a mother in my childhood because I had an unconditional right to move into every corner of the house to every member who had the right to govern and indulge me where I could fly freely like a butterfly in my world.

As I grew up, the feeling of freedom didn't last long. My elders started raising my awareness about what I should and should not do. I often felt exhausted from constantly hearing what I should or shouldn't accomplish multiple times a day. I could not understand why they did not apply the same rules to the male members of my age. Perhaps, for being a girl, everybody was very much possessive of me.

In our time, a fifteen-year-old girl had no right to think about her wishes - wishes of the mind remained as wishes always.

When I was five, my father took me to a Bengali medium school because English medium schools were not prevalent, and co-education was beyond conception.

I grew up with a stereotypical view of life as my life was within the periphery of an orthodox idea of prejudice in our home.

My spiritual development was complete at birth and only needed to affirm itself.

I was only ten when the turmoil started in my life, and I was passing through the transitional period between childhood and teenage when changes were very natural, which brought a lot of unavoidable restrictions and social taboos in the life of a teenage girl like me.

Sometimes, I questioned myself, during menstruation, why I had to stay away from doing anything for the worshipping god and why I could not offer anything to the god, not even allowed to enter the temple.

I did not dare to ask myself that question to my elders, but I made the answer myself according to my anticipation that it was a very unrefined phase of life and I should not touch anything related to worship.

That thought threw me into a contradiction between my instinct and conscience.

 

 

Chapter Two

 


One of my cousins, brother Dipak, had enrolled in the University as a student of radio-physics while I pursued a master's in English at Calcutta University. He was only two months older than I, so he was more of a friend than a brother and often returned home together with his friends.

One day, returning home, he came into my room hurriedly and said that one of his friends was waiting for me.

His gesture surprised me, and I asked him why his friend was waiting for me, but he compelled me to appear in front of an unknown person.

He was tall, handsome and gentle, in a word, impressive, and the most significant part of his face was his eye, which was very bright and intelligent and had the exquisite power to read others' minds. Altogether, he was a sensible man.

When I appeared there, he was staring at the floor with a thought of something, and getting the sound of my footstep, he raised his head and stood up at once and said submissively,

'Hi, I am Indrnath Bose, a classmate of Dipak.`

'I know, but how can I help you? ` I asked that man gently, as much as possible.

'I have a hobby of writing articles for the newspaper on scientific issues, and they published my articles several times, but, this time, the topic was quite different, and my English is not as good as yours. If you have time to check, I can keep it to you.`

'Let me see what the topic is.` I threw my vision over the content and said, 'Science and rebirth.` I kept looking at him and asked, 'Do you have belief in rebirth?`

He thought and said,' No, but it is not easy to prove against the orthodox-predominated idea that I tried to explain through a scientific outlook.`

I smiled with appreciation and said, 'Brilliant, keep it up, and then I have to read, okay I kept it with me. `

'Thank you Anu. `

I put the papers on the shelf unconcernedly and went to the washroom.

I had little free time to do anything for myself in a joint family in the seventies, where an unmarried girl had to do household work besides her studies, which the elders thought was the ultimate destiny of a girl after marriage to serve her husband and his family from dawn to midnight so, we had to get used to it.

What you call now fest or carnival, in our time, we called Reunion, and when I was at Kolkata University, I had many friends, but Mithali, Shaswati and I were close friends, but among us, Mitali was a bit restless.

                                 

Suddenly, I saw Paraswar coming towards us.

'Hi Anu, will you not go inside the auditorium?`

'Yes, sure, we are following you.’ If Mitali had any favourite issue, she never left it without making fun.

'Anu, you should go at least considering him your former boyfriend. ` Her sarcastic smile irritated me so much.

'Mitali, if you say a single word on this issue, I will leave at once.`

'Okay, sorry, I will say nothing.`

After a long, Shaswati opened her mouth, ' Whatever you say our University is different. Many of us do not leave it to compare with an animal's cage; but still, it is the birthplace of many great scholars.’

We were walking along the path beside the lawn towards the auditorium, 'Hi, Anu.` suddenly somebody called behind.

'You are here? ` I asked him surprisingly, but I instantly changed the phrase and said,' No, I mean, have you any friends here or....`.

Suddenly, I remembered the papers he had given me.

He answered, 'Why, I am also a student of this University though our faculty is in a different place. `

'I am sorry, I forgot it. `

'Doesn't matter. `

'Also, I will back you the papers soon. I have checked it. `

'No matter, take time. `

'Do you know where is Dipak? `

'Maybe in the auditorium. `

'Okay, fine, good day. `

 

 

Chapter Three


My childhood was a state of morbid mental growth.

My mother's absence in my life felt like a curse. I believe that if she were there, I wouldn't have suffered so much pain -- the pain of unspoken girlhood experiences. But genetics had their way. I carry her blood - the power of endurance. My mother was a woman of different philosophies and believed there should be logic for every action.

A theocratic system has nothing good for the people except to create fundamentalism, and our family followed theocracy.

Whenever I saw her photo hanging on the wall in my father's room, I felt an uncanny existence around me, as if she tried to say an enchanted hymn, which had not been in Sanskrit but a language of her own because she had realized the necessity to know the reality of life, tried to explain to others through philosophy and science that the prevalent ideas they were following were not reality.

She never doubted the existence of god but had doubts about the exaggeration in the name of worship, and she expressed her protest gently that had created a direct blow to the dignity of my grandfather and his followers, who were orthodox Brahmans.

Since the priesthood was their occupation, they took advantage of being a high-caste member of society with their predominated fake ideas. She had felt the necessity to correct the spiritual, predominated ideas as they are useless in human life.

She asked herself several times how its root had entered the deepest place in their mind. It was their traditional idea that dates back to the Vedic period.

With the help of a fake medical certificate, they sent her to an asylum without any symptoms, from where my mother never returned home, and she took her last breath in the asylum when I was only five.

I know her face through a wall-hanging photo.

My father was a lucky man to keep himself away from these and was always reluctant to accept and follow the conventional theory of ancestor's domain.

He believed that a reason creates a new idea, but he did not dare to confront them because of being their descendant.

He made a bold decision one day to leave his ancestral house forever when my grandfather realized his mistakes and requested us to stay with them. My father refused, and I heartily applauded this decision that day.

 

 

Chapter Four



I had kept Indra's papers in a file with care, which I opened to read.

'The soul is a concept, but science is the reality. 

Looking back to the mid-nineteenth century, we find how the church gained political power and dominated the entire society in the name of Christianity, through which they misled people with the wrong teaching, and the people living in that society were following their given ideas unscrupulously for many years for which their life was of suffering and miseries. 

Later, the thinkers appeared there one by one as Messiah to save them, so in the eye of the Pope, they were found guilty of bringing the truth before everyone, which resulted in them having to accept either life imprisonment or death. 

Among them were Galileo, Copernicus, Socrates, and many more, which were distinctive figures. 

A group of people in our country also live with some obscure ideas of life, and their insensitive belief in these issues is so strong that they accept all of these as reality. 

The idea of rebirth is one of them. `

I read the entire content and did not find any grammatical mistakes in this part, but he could have written the same differently. The most important thing is that the introduction of the writing was very catchy.

Hence, I returned the papers.

'You have written it nicely, and finally, you proved the idea of rebirth is not proved and the soul does not exist. Why are you so desperate to disprove these ideas?'

A moment later, he said,' Some people are still using them to cheat others, I want to stop that, this is my mission.'

I smiled a little after hearing that.

'Do you think all these are very easy to stop? Do you think people will change their minds after reading this article?

All these are not easy to stop because they flow through the blood from one generation to another.

Until they get proper education, they will live clinging to those beliefs because their sense of judgement has not yet developed.'

' I know that but still, we have to keep trying otherwise all good talents will be lost because of blind faith.`Saying this, Indra lowered his head.

 

 

Chapter Five 



It was 1974 when Kolkata was slowly coming out of the Naxalite movement, and people were trying to free themselves from political turmoil and focusing on the puja festival.

For a long time, turmoil prevented them from a free life, so a consoled sentiment of the festival got an emotional burst before puja.

Durga Puja in Indra's village house is also very ancient, and his family used to worship Durga conventionally. To them, Durga Puja was a reunion festival of relatives and friends.

After a year of waiting with thirst, they met with each other on the auspicious days to join in and share happiness because most of his relatives then lived abroad.

Despite my reluctance, Indra forced Dipak and me to go repeatedly to his village, and we could not refuse his offer. Earlier, I had no idea about the village Durga puja. It was an incredible experience with a different flavour for me. Unlike urban people, the village people's simplicity touched me. It was hard for me to believe that people could be so simple, especially to a girl like me, who grew up in an orthodox Brahmin family. Though we were almost unfamiliar, Indra's family received us as if we had been familiar for a long time to each other. Sanjiv, Indra's cousin-brother who lived in Indore, was tall, handsome, 26 years old, and had something special in him. It was such a speciality that isolated him from others. He was an automobile engineer employed by a reputed car dealer and well-established.

The part of his nature that attracted me was spontaneity. I didn't look at a man with such emotion before him. It was as if all the power of control in me was draining out of my mind.

It was day five of our visit. Since morning, everybody has been busy arranging for worshipping. Some women were busy cutting fruits, while others were involved in making sweets. Women looked very fresh, like morning flowers. I wished to take part with them but could not express it. Indra's sister Namita almost dragged me where other girls were doing something in a room.

'Attention please.' She drew the attention of all, and a sudden embarrassment grabbed me. 'This is Anudidi, Indrada's friend sitting alone in the Varanda counting stars in the daylight. `

I felt like I was going to be caught by all. It was because of a contradiction that stealthily occupied my mind for some days that I didn't even sense. The wave of laughter in the room raised my even more uneasiness, but I managed at once and said,

'It was not that exactly. I was thinking about coming here. May I help you? `

One of the older women smilingly said, 'Yes, you can arrange the fruits and sweets on the different plates. `

As soon as I forwarded my step, another female voice from the gathering suddenly stopped me and said anxiously,' Wait, are you on your period now? If so, you can't touch these things, all these are worshipping items.` That ancient question started crowding in my mind again, which is still unsolved.

I nodded my neck and said, 'No'.

Another woman requested me to say something about my childhood. Before that, she threw her next question at me. "With whom are you living in Kolkata?"

'With my father.`

'What does your father do? `

'He is a retired government officer. This time I truly felt irritated by their many questions, so, before they ask, I unfolded my identity to them by saying, "Actually, I was born in a Brahmin family. My forefathers were orthodox Brahmins. Their profession was the priesthood. I spent my childhood with them in the rigorous practice of rituals, penance, hymns, etc. So, I am used to doing all of these. `

I thought they got the answers to their doubts.

'Oh, then you know the rules of all these. So, you guide us now. `

Though it sounded sarcasm, the woman was serious. I told her politely, 'How can it be possible? Your house has a certain tradition and you should follow that. How can I instruct you as an outsider? Besides, we live in another place for a long time. Now, I forget half of these rules.`

Before the woman said anything, the priest and his two assistants had arrived at the door.

'Ma, is everything ready? `

'Yes Baba, almost, we will take five more minutes.`

'Okay.`

At 10, we were at the breakfast table except for the elders. They did not eat anything until the puja was over.

Taking a corner seat, I sat in an elongated hall as I did not want to expose myself to all. I breathed the air of unfamiliar smell- the smell of nature, very fresh yet less glamorous and that we cannot find in a cit

'Do you live in Calcutta? ` I was startled by someone's call, looked and saw Sanjiv sitting in front. For a while, inertia surrounded me, and I shook my head bewilderedly. I was then 25. A girl of twenty-five in the early seventies had hardly the courage to face an unknown male.

However, it took some time to return to normal.

For a moment, I felt a stirring inside me, but suppressing it, I pretended to be as normal as possible and said,' Where do you live? `

'I am from Indore. ` He said with an innocent smile,' This is the first time I have been here and I am enjoying the incredible moments here. Village people know what hospitability is and how everyone can be easily adopted.' He took a pause and asked, 'what you do?'

Before answering him, breakfast came. I was feeling hungry. So, I concentrated on breakfast.

He repeated the question,' What are you doing? `

'I am doing M.A in English from Calcutta University. `

'Okay, then you want to be a teacher.'

‘Maybe so, because this is still a safe and respectable job for women.` I said before putting the piece of puri in my mouth.

I asked uninterestingly without looking at him.

'And you? `

'I am an engineer, automobile. ` He pronounced the last word casually as if he wanted to be something else, and I couldn't control myself to ask him,' Are you not happy with your job? `

Looking at the sky outside the window, he answered,' I had a passion to be a painter. `

‘So where was the obstacle? `

‘Because of my father's wish, but later I thought about the necessity of income stability and swallowed it. `

Without further talking, I said, 'Let's get up. `

It was the dawn of Saptamee, and the light did not blossom clearly. I woke up to the sound of dhak. I came out to the balcony and saw the male members wearing Dhoti were ready to go to the river for a special ritual. Making a small procession, they were taking Kalabou (a banana tree considered the wife of Ganesh) for a bath. It was an unprecedented sight to me.

The male member who was carrying the banana tree was at the forefront. Indra and Sanjiv both were with them.

Sanjiv was jovial, while Indra was introverted, but both were sensible.

As usual, we met again at lunch.

Since he loved to talk always, the question came from his side at first,

'Did you explore the village? `

'No, not exactly because Indra is busy and also I can't request anyone to accompany me.`

' It is not necessary to keep someone to explore the village.`

'Don't forget I am a woman. `

'Certainly. Sorry, Okay, I can provide the service of a companion.`

'It's okay but I can't pay for that.`

We both laughed.

'Can we start by 4 pm today? What do you think? `

 'It's okay. I will be there at the main gate.`

‘Okay, fine. `

It was a fine afternoon in autumn. Since the puja festival for that year came at the end of October, we were feeling a touch of cold air. This village in the Burdwan district is so large that you cannot move around in a single day. After walking for half an hour, we stood before a

temple. It was an ancient Shiva temple. The priest in the temple was busy arranging for the evening prayer. I felt exhausted, so I sat down on the temple floor.

‘Are you tired? This is a common problem in a city girl. They have very little capacity for movement. The improved communication system is the only reason for this. Bus tram taxis are just a step away. What else do you want? ` After a moment of silence, I said with the pretend of anger,' You seem to be very knowledgeable about girls.`

'No, this is a simple consequence of getting many advantages. Anybody can assume in my place about the reward of living in Calcutta. The girls are always of a one-track mind.'

I felt a stealthy enjoyment in my mind, and I laughed secretly and said,' If you never mind, can I ask you a question?'

'Sure'

I started after a pause,' Do you like someone, I mean any girl?'

‘I never liked any girl before but now I do.'

‘It means you found someone special. Isn't it? `

‘Yes, you can say that.'

‘So, does she live in Indore? `

‘No, not at all, she lives in Calcutta.' He said the end part whisperingly.

‘What did you say?'

' No, nothing.' he continued after a pause,' I know you must be surprised by hearing that if I say usually I try to avoid company of girls. I hardly can assess them because they are mysterious like the Bermuda Triangle, always unsolved.'

‘Oh! Then, you should stay away from me because I am also a girl.' I threw the ball in his court.

He bewilderedly said,' Everything has an exception.'

'You want to mean I am exceptional. What did you find in me that proves I am different.' Avoiding the question, he said,' We should be backed home before dark falls.'

 

 

Chapter Six




Coming back to Calcutta, I got involved in my regular jobs and had no time to remember the village and every individual. But I didn't know why some moments often haunted me like deserted memories, which I sensed through a strange melody playing somewhere in my heart, and I asked myself the reason for it but didn't get an answer, remained as if a sluggish predicament of mind.

A month later, I got a sudden telephone call, a trunk call from Indore.

'It's me Sanjiv, how are you Anu?'

I kept quiet for a second and then answered, ' I am fine and you?'

How I answered him was still incredible to me.

" I feel like I'm obsessed with surrender, but I'm afraid of getting caught, so I say in a normal tone, 'You know, it's like my memory is playing tricks on me and taking me far away, to an unknown land beyond what I'm familiar with. There, I can see afternoon rainbows in fountains

and old words whisper in eternal silence. My mind wishes to go there, over and over, where I have no inhibitions.

'Sometimes I want to fly like you, Anu. Make me like you so as I can see the world through your eyes, what? Can you do?'

'I don't know.' I answered him whisperingly, and a sudden thought of trunk call charges came to my mind, and I said, 'O my god, we forgot about the trunk- call charges.'

'Doesn't matter, please Anu continue.'

'No, not now, next time.' I cut the line at once.

I don't understand whether love is part of our instincts or instincts control it. Up to a certain age, every life is spent within a periphery of biological need that signals a reciprocal relationship between a male and a female, and this inevitable truth keeps reminding me of Sanjeev. Maybe, for that reason, his face was floating on the screen of my mind repeatedly.

But why Sanjiv, I asked myself several times, had no clear answer, and, to get rid of the thought, I decided to concentrate on my studies after a phone call from Prof Bose, and I met him the next day.

'What's the matter Anu? You didn't submit the papers yet.'

He seemed to look anxious about my future.

'Sorry, sir, I will do that as soon as possible.'

 

 

Chapter Seven



Romance and sex have a unique relationship. If sex is the destination, romance is the path to it. If sex is the momentary outcome, romance is a lifelong process. It was beyond imagination for a 22-year-old girl to maintain a loving relationship through sex in the 80s. So, I had to strengthen my self-control over sex despite having natural urges. Premarital sex is common nowadays, but in our time, it was considered a sin. Male members of society are always the weaker part in controlling sex more or less, but females should say 'no'. A female cannot exist without a male, but that relationship should not lay on sex. Males and females complement each other. They would be a good friend. Most of us do not know the meaning of friendship, and male-female friendship was not agreeable to society in our time. If the news about it spread, there would be a storm of criticism. An unmarried pregnancy had no place in society as well as at home. Abortion was a compulsory outcome, which was not easy like now.

I could not come out of contradiction because I am a human being.

The day I went to the University to submit the thesis to Prof. Bose, I got Indra on the way.

'Thanks, Indra.'

'For what?'

‘For allowing us to stay at your home to enjoy some incredible moments during Puja.’

‘Don't thank me. I should say thank to you for sharing the moments with us.' After a pause, he continued, 'My mother says about you often.'

'Please, Indra, convey my regards to her.'

'It would be better if you will write a letter to her.'

'Good idea, I will do that.'

Suddenly, two boys hurriedly came and said something to his ear, causing Indra to leave the place immediately. I bewilderedly asked, 'What happened?'

He said without looking back as he went,

'Nothing special, I will tell you later.'

Two days later, Dipak informed me that the police had arrested Indra.

'Why?'

He said, 'The police suspected him as one of the Naxals for his involvement with the anti-government activities.'

Hearing that, I was surprised more than shocked.

I was so surprised that I forgot to close my mouth for a moment, then I asked him, 'Do you know anything about reality?'

Taking pause, he said, 'I don't know about the activities or what they mean, but he has involvement with Naxals.'

Despite knowing the danger of it, somehow, I felt pride for him inside. It was a common trend for youth to be a Maxal and was a process of inducing from one to another. Their leaders were knowledgeable and literate, so they influenced people easily. I heard iconic names like Charu Mazumder, Kanu Sanyal, and Ashima Chatterjee, who motivated youth to fight against the system for creating oppressive conditions for farmers. From the landlords to moneylenders, the entire system exploited them by absorbing their least happiness in life.

Unnumbered mothers' laps got emptied then.

I asked him with a sharp look, 'I want to have a definite answer from you. Are you also...?'

'I knew that you would ask that question. No sister because I am not as desperate as he.'

I repeated the word desperate whisperingly to myself, 'Desperate.' I asked him, 'What about his bell?'

'I know nothing, but I suppose to be that the police Commissioner Partha Guha Niogi would decide whether they will send him for trial or everything will be done in lock-up.'

'Why should we appoint a defence lawyer for him?'

'His elder brother and uncle are coming today. Let see what they will decide.`

'Will the police allow us to visit him?'

'It's not a good idea for us to visit him now. Let's wait until things have calmed down before we reach out to him.'

I found Dipak logical, so we should wait until his brother and uncle come.'

                               

After a week, the police released him without a trial because they didn't find any evidence against him.

At that time, every parent had to pass a moment with fright about the arrest of their young son and lived with the thought that the police would arrest them at any moment, dragging him out of their home tagged as a Naxal.

The police often used to shoot them from the back, allowing them to escape from their custody in the name of an encounter. It was a usual system of police to suppress the movement. The Maxals could not have gained the people's support because of their violent attitude.

Their destructive process prevented the movement from proceeding further. Consequently, their journey ended abruptly before bringing a change in society, just as many talented boys lost their lives prematurely.

 

 

                                 

Chapter Eight



In early 1975, a shocking event shattered my will to live. My father's sudden demise threw me to an unknown, deserted land like a solitary traveller. Many a man had their familiar route to walk, but I had not. It was a long, struggling time for me to learn to survive alone.

With the progression of time, there was a change in the exaggerated ritualistic idea of the members of my ancestral house, including my grandfather. After my father's death, my grandfather sent a proposal for me to stay with him, but I refused. During the seventies, to a girl, living alone in a house was not well accepted by society, so I kept watching the newspaper's pages for job vacancies, emphasizing the post of a school teacher so that I could have a place to say of my own. My father's death strengthened my spirit to face any challenge, as it was clear to me, to combat my enemies of the other tent. Every moment, I felt I was at one end of a great battlefield while the other was my enemy's camp.

After a month's effort, I got a call letter for an interview. Since I had no choice, I had to respond to the post of a school teacher. The place was Durgapur, not very far from Kolkata, a developing town, a brainchild of Dr Bidhan Chandra Roy. I got an appointment to join as an English teacher. A day before the joining date, I reached there. Getting do

wn at the platform, I was looking for my aunt there, my mother's sister, but I doubted if she would recognize me after a long time as we met twice or thrice since I was born. Also, I hadn't had a clear conception of her face. It was a smoky face that remained in my memory. Suddenly, I figured out a solution to avoid the dilemma, wrote my name on a piece of paper in big font size and held it to recognize me, and it worked like magic.

"Anu." I heard a faint voice from a little distance.

 

 

Chapter Nine


                                    

Durgapur would not have grown up like the modern city you see now if the Durgapur Steel Plant was not there. The entire township had developed, keeping the DSP at the centre. The new place was always charming as it was calm, not crowded, and planned. Slowly, I was getting familiar with the vicinity.

                                   

It was a Monday morning, and I was heading towards the new school with my uncle, keeping the joining letter in my purse, waiting at a bus stop for the bus coming. I was surprised to see the double-decker bus moving here, like in Kolkata.

It was a newly established girls' school, and our introductory part was desirably pleasant. It seemed to be that the headmistress and my colleagues were cooperative. I was enthusiastic, perhaps more than enough. I wanted to establish close contact with every student to understand their aptitude, and that might not have been a good message to my colleagues, but I sensed it later. I couldn't get an idea why they were doing so with me. Why did they not like the interaction with my students? I realized the situation was getting out of hand and that I lived in an unfriendly environment. That was the first time I felt how much I was unlucky enough to be a

lonely woman in the forlorn world. Compelled by anxiety, I decided to resign one night, but soon after remembering the tender faces of my students, my mind became heavy for leaving them. Before taking any drastic decision, I wanted to face the headmistress.

'May I come in, madam?'

'Yes, please.' The headmistress's voice sounded from inside.

'Oh! Anuradha, please be seated. I know why you are here. Remember the story of Jesus Christ. At the time of crucifixion, what did he appeal to god for the people of Bethlehem? He begged mercy for them as they did not know what they were doing.'

'You mean I should allow them to crucify me.'

'No, never. I advise you to give space. Do what exactly you want to do with your students, but together with them. Most of them are locals and of average thinking people. They do not understand what they never think. So, I advise you not to do anything that makes them angry. Did you get it?"

I replied, "Yes."

On the way back home, I found the two options before me. If I wanted to continue the service there, I had to mingle with them, or I should resign.

After that day, I started transforming myself into a robot, an emotionless machine. Every inch by inch, I had been tearing up the emotional bond with the students. Soon, I became like others. But my students were not ready to accept that happily. On the initial arrival, I saw a dependency in their eyes. I was so unfortunate and helpless that I was moving away from their love little by little every day. They almost stopped talking to me except for 'yes' or 'no'. The more they drifted away from me, the more resentful I became of my colleagues. But, day after day, I had to pretend to them that I was one of them. One night, lying in bed, I felt the existence of a strange person in me whom I did not know, but the next moment, I recognized her. She was none but my conscience standing before me like a reflection in the mirror and asking, "Do you have enough power to combat? Are you in a favourable condition for that? If not, stay with your pretension until you don't get a concrete ground beneath your feet. That will be the safest situation for you."

I didn't have any choice. Resignation means escaping. As I didn't want to resign, I regained my power inside to combat.

It was necessary to get back my position and my dignity. Without having any political influence, it was not possible. Although I had no idea of politics, somehow, I had an inclination towards the left party in my mind for a long time, but I never thought of keeping a direct relationship. Yet, I did not know anyone in Durgapur who could navigate me in the right direction. I never wanted to be involved with politics, but I had no choice.

My journey was at a point where the ways went far away, dividing into two. I could take turns in any of them, leaving the rest of my life on fortune.

I was concerned about the ideological difference between Communism and Naxalism. That issue was not ignorable but rather considerably sensitive and life-threatening. I gathered courage and overcame the fear of death. Naxals were suppressed by the force but not deactivated. They were keeping their distracted movement stealthily.

Despite being desperate, I hesitated to discuss with anyone about my will, because everybody had their own choice. When I was confused, I found someone who deserved trustworthiness.

Ramendranath, a stationery shopkeeper, is an honest and benevolent man who had a connection to the local MLA Dipak Chatterjee.

One evening, Ramendranath introduced me to Dipak- a young, handsome and enthusiastic man with dreams in his eyes. It was a tea stall where we met with him. He looked a little confused,

“Ramenda told me about your problem, but as an MLA, I cannot take a step against anybody without evidence. If it is an issue of molestation, threat, etc, I would take it under my custody, but.."

"If I want to join the party...?" I threw a question at him. He looked at me straight, keeping his eyes on my eyes for a moment. His face got serious this time, which was enough to scare me. Before I said anything, he started smiling at me like a father at his child and pronounced, "It is not as easy as you think. You have no right to use our party for your issue. It is an organized party. The party will decide whether you deserve it or not. The only thing I can do for you is to propose your name at our meeting, but before that, you have to make a firm decision."

Our meeting was over without any positivity.

 

 

Chapter ten



Sometimes, I thought I was passing through a perplexing situation, or it seemed I was going away from my objectives. It was not the exact purpose for which I came here, but for survival, it was necessary to have political support. Reluctantly, I might have had to do that if I hadn't received Indra's letter just then.

                                 

 Dear Anu,

After a long search, I got your address. I am writing this letter after collecting your address with difficulty. Please read this very carefully and let me know your opinion immediately. I got a job in a semi-government school as a physics teacher. I have been here for nearly three years.

Recently, the English teacher passed away. The authority is seeking a new teacher for the vacant post. I am sending the advertisement copy published in a newspaper. So, if you wish to go with it, please send your profile to my address immediately. Hoping, we will meet soon.

                                  

Indra. 


To save time, he sent it through the courier service. Being perplexed, I could not make a prompt decision. It was an opportunity for me to get rid of the present situation. On the other hand, who could tell me that it would be a better option than now? It might be so much worse that I would not get an exposure to get rid of. Everything was getting gloomy. However, I had to conclude. Before making a firm decision, I took just a night to plunge myself into deep thought, and the next day, I sent my profile to Indra's address through the courier service. Initially, the headmistress was reluctant to accept my resignation. Holding the letter in hand, she stared at me for some moments and then said in a low voice," Blessed you, stay happy."

 

 

Chapter Eleven



Selected as a new teacher, I preferred to keep watching the behavioural patterns of my colleagues. I tried to read their minds. I thought," If I can mingle with them, I can come closer to my students."

Finally, I came back to my home town, Kolkata.

Indra and I are working together in the same school. We often came to each other, gossiped, and sometimes discussed the school environment. Slowly, we started feeling a sense of inevitability for each other. It was a wonderful feeling that I never experienced before. With the passing of every moment, nature around me was getting exaggerated. I had no hatred for anybody.

The sky above me was getting wider every moment, and standing beneath it, I could take a breath, full of my chest. I hid the feeling as it was so sensitive that I could not share it with anyone except my friends Mitali and Swashati.

"You should talk to him immediately." Mitali expressed her opinion.

“I want to do that but am not getting the scope."

I whispered, steering tea with the spoon in the cup.

A few days later, I found him talking to one of our colleagues in the corridor. Seeing me from there, he approached and said, "I have a lot to say. Can you spend some time for me after school hour?"

I nodded and left the place immediately. I didn't want to give any chance to others to gossip about us. That topic could stimulate one's curiosity enthusiastically and put teachers and students in the same category.

We had a place to meet before Goldhighi, where we met often. We were like two birds. Our wings were heavy. So, we didn't want to fly to a great height. Instead of waiting there, I was watching books in an old bookstore.

“How long you have been here?"

I didn't notice him standing beside me.

“Oh! Not more than five minutes."

“Sorry for the late. Coffee?"

I nodded.

Unfortunately, the Coffee House was too crowded that day to discuss a serious matter like ours.

“Indra, let's go to some other place."

Usually, we never sat in a park or isolated place, but that day, I chose a bench in Goldighi, a less crowded surrounding, where we could talk peacefully.

I began," I am little worried."

“What about?"

“About our relationship."

Taking a pause, he answered," Anu, whatever I have done for you, have done as a friend, nothing more of it. You are Dipak's cousin. I have a respect for you. I never judge our relationship from this angle but friendship. I want to be your friend forever. In today's world, a friendship is very rare."

Initially, listening to him, I was getting depressed, but his last few words washed out all the accumulated dirt in my mind.

 

 

Chapter Twelve



"Riju, you are getting late. Hurry up. Uncle Basu will come at any moment."

"Yes, mom."

Riju, my only son, was then only ten. My day began with preparing Riju for school and serving breakfast on the table for my husband and father-in-law. Then, I had to get ready for school. I didn't quit my school job. Not only had a security to my life, but it kept me busy, helping me to forget many incidents that had happened in my life in that interim period.

After the refusal of Indra to be a husband, a perplexedness grabbed my conscience for some days to begin a new relationship with someone.

Sometimes, my growing age whispered to my ear,' You should choose someone to marry. You should have a guardian. Time is going beyond ambit.'

Staying alone for a young woman in her early eighties meant taking a drastic decision. A feeling of a need for someone in my life was getting a part of self-reliant to me. Patriarchal society never valued an unmarried woman of twenty-six. Hence, marriage was not only for my physical needs but to achieve dignity. It was just like a bridge between the two ends. On one end, I could easily get lost forever and the end where I could find myself self-reliant and dignified. Like all girls, I wished to have a family with a husband and a child. It was partly a physical need that I could not ignore disclosing as a basic instinct.

Often, I felt that being born a girl was nothing but a curse- physically and mentally.

However, Indra's not coming as my husband compelled me to the next option. My next option was Sanjiv, a handsome, well-established and sensible person, but only a single meeting with aperson is not enough to know him better. When a thought came to mind about fixing a date with him, Indra came suddenly one fine morning to my house.

His miraculous arrival not only surprised me but brought an unbound happiness also. Suppressing my intense emotion, I welcomed him, pretending nothing had happened," Oh! Indra. What a surprise. Please come. How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

“Me too."

Sitting on the sofa, he smilingly asked," Would you let me say something?"

I nodded my head.

“Can you remember Sanjiv, my cousin's brother?"

With pretension, I said," Sanjiv, Sanjiv, which Sanjiv?"

" Sanjiv means with whom I introduced you when you visited my house in Durga Puja."

" Oh! Engineer, automobile engineer. What happened with him?"

“Nothing, he came to Calcutta yesterday. He is on a short visit here. I wanted to take him here, but he does not want to be here until you allow him."

Hiding my excitement as much as possible, I said," Allow? It is a house. Anybody can come, and the door is always open, and besides, when he had my telephone number, he could have called me." I could not mention that a few months earlier he phoned me.

“Okay, we can meet at the Coffee House after the school hours if you are...."

I said, stopping him mid-way," Yes, I am ready."

“Mom, bye." Riju's call split my thoughts suddenly."

“Bye, Anu. Please reach there on time. I will be late today." Indra and Riju got into the car and went beyond the vision quickly.

 

 

 

Chapter Thirteen




We met at the Coffee House on time and, luckily, we got the seat. We reached earlier than Sanjiv.

Ten minutes later, when he arrived, he looked energetic with the same spontaneous smile. On approaching us, he said," Hi! Indra. Hi! Anu. How are you both? Sorry, I am little late."

We responded to him smilingly.

Suddenly, Indra's wristwatch caught his attention, and he said that he had to go somewhere hurriedly. I grabbed the reason behind his sudden cause of departure. He wanted to leave us alone.

I prevented him at once," You are not going anywhere. Just keep quiet and sit with us."

He said," Why are you making me kabab me hardy (unwanted person)."

I did not answer but looked at him seriously, and it worked at once.

“Okay, I am not going anywhere."

Sanjiv opened his mouth and said," Anu, I have an idea."

"What?"

“Will you marry me?"

I couldn't suppress myself. I laughed into burst.

“Is that your style to propose a lady?"

“I don't know more of it." He said it semi-seriously.

“It’s okay."

"When I first met you during the puja I found similarities with my mother in you. That thought has been chasing me behind since then."

"Oh! That's the reason to marry me. I expected something else."

“What?"

“Leave that."

Taking pause, I said," I need time for that because marriage is a more serious issue than friendship. We know little about each other."

Returning home, I thought a lot about Sanjiv and our wedding life. When I couldn't decide whether he was suitable or not, suddenly, I got a phone call from him.

“Anu, it is difficult for me to clarify why I like you, but you indeed have made a space in the bottom of my heart. You are a combination of intellect, dignity and self-reliance I have never found before in others."

He was trying to impress me that I understood, but all he was telling me from his conscience, I sensed that.

Hiding laughter on my lips, I said," Okay, I am impressed. Then what is your next step to propose me?"

“Please Anu, don't take me lightly."

“I am serious. Tell me, when will you propose to me?"

Finding the other end silent, I continued," Do you have time today for a walk?":

“When?"

“After my school hours means around five thgirty."

“Yes, I will...”

“But not in the Coffee House. We will meet at Hedua, in front of Basanta Cabin."

“Okay."

We met at five-forty and started walking along Bidon Street towards Central Avenue.

We were walking side by side. Sanjiv was a little taller than me. He was handsome and jovial. I got ashamed in my mind that I was measuring him.

He started talking," The North Calcutta may be a little older but has a different flavour of the history. The air, as if whispers into my ears about zamindars, freedom fighters' movement, British Rule. All those fragmented histories are scattered over the North Calcutta, even today. So, I have a fascination for this part of Calcutta."

“If you still search, you may find blood stains on the streets or the walls. The blood may be of the freedom fighters or the young boys who had dreams in their eyes of a changed system, and a

group of people are moving around us stealthily, waiting for the opportunity to fulfil their interests in the name of the movement. They easily trap either the illiterates or the young. That happens everywhere in the world." I had to stop talking here because, Just then, we were both startled by the cry-out of a group of people carrying a dead body. The magnitude of the sound was not only dreadful and scary to the people on the road but to the dead person also. The only sound I uttered was," Ophs!" Then I said to him," Are you familiar with it? It is also one of the considerable actions of this place. You cannot find it in any civilized country in the world."

Suddenly, I looked at the wristwatch. It was seven thirty already.

" Sanjiv, it is seven thirty already. I have to go back immediately. I have to cook my dinner."

He stopped a running taxi, and we got into it quickly.

 

 

Chapter Fourteen



Two days after our meeting, one fine Sunday morning, I received a phone call from him.

“Anu, tomorrow, I have to return to my workplace, Indore. Could you spare time for me today? It's very urgent."

I said," Okay, I will.."

"I will pick you up at four o'clock in the afternoon from your house. You must be alert for my car horn."

" Sanjiv, You will pick me up from the bus stop. I will be there by four o'clock."

                

Getting into his car, I asked him," Where are we going now?"

“To my ancestral house at Bhowbanipur."

“Why at your house? We can talk anywhere."

“It is because my house is the safest place for our discussion. Another place may have unnecessary harassment. We both are from reputed family. So…."

I agreed with him but said," How will you introduce me? Girlfriend?" I laughed aloud.

He fumbled," No, um, um, just a friend."

His house is larger enough than I expected.

The total members were four, including an old servant, Panuda. Though he was from Orissa, he spoke Bengali fluently. He was not only honest but sensible. Since he had been working there since childhood, he was a family member.

Every nook and corner of that house was different from my ancestral home. Differences in architecture, moral values, and tastes were prominent. Their cordial welcome charmed me. His mother was in the same profession as me.

So, our interaction was communicative to each other.

She asked me directly without pretense," Will you be my daughter-in-law? My son is crazy after you."

Sometimes, it is difficult to answer a sudden question. I plunged into a deep thought. It was like finding a needle in the sand. I could sense that I was blushing in shame. I looked at Sanjiv in the corner of my eye.

Watching me embarrassed, she said, "Okay, take your time."

After that day, we met several times, and finally, I agreed to her proposal.

Meanwhile, my grandfather's death brought a significant change in our ancestral house. Dipak came to me one early morning with the news. So, I had to attend the funeral like an isolated creature of the family.

Other members requested to stay with them for 14 days till the final ritual. I wanted to refuse them, but my grandmother's eyes compelled me to change my mind. I found a different unspoken word in her eyes when she held my hands helplessly. During those fourteen days, I saw an unprecedented change in their outlook. Their cordial behaviour surprised me so much that a question haunted my mind,' how is this possible?'

I asked Dipak in a lonely moment," How is this possible? This change."

He smirked before saying," It is a long story. It had happened a few days earlier when Jhethu (my grandfather) had a mild heart attack one evening. He was unconscious for hours. No sooner had he regained sense than he uttered your name. He said in a slurred voice,' Anu, please forgive me, my child. I had done wrong with you and your parent.

Prejudices kept me in a dark hole. That day, when I got terrific chest pain, I saw my son, the only son and his wife, my dearest daughter-in-law, enlightened with the glory of knowledge, taught me that god is one and only who lives everywhere in everyone. How much we try to confine him within us, we cannot.' All that he finally said before last breathe."

It was a perplexing situation to me whether I should forgive them or not. Here, forgiveness meant I had to stay with them together, which was impossible for me after a long time, but I

forgave them. Before leaving, I went to my uncle for permission for my wish about my grandmother, that I wanted to take her with me to my house.

But Thammi ( grandmother) disagreed and said," This is my law house. I want to live here as long as I live. I don't want to depart from all my memories scattered everywhere in this house, but you come to me. Don't you?"

I hugged her with tears and said," I promise you that I will come every week end to see you."

 

 

 

Chapter Fifteen



Grandfather's demise brought me closer to my family again. I was happy enough to regain the new relationship I lost in childhood.

Sanjiv's mother continued forcing me to make a final decision. One Sunday, I called Dipak to discuss as Dipak, Sanjiv, and Indra are good friends. When I unfoiled the secret to him, he

started dancing. I laughingly tried to restrain his emotion," Control man, control yourself. It's a serious matter. I need a discussion with you."

“Okay, tell me, dearest sister, what is your urgent discussion."

“As a brother you have to speake out everything to them."

“To whom?"

“To uncle and others."

"It's a simple task, and I must do that."

Two days later, I received Sanjiv's phone call.

" Anu, I have heard all about your grandfather from Dipak. Sorry for your loss, and sorry again for my not presence in the funeral."

After a pause, he said, "I remind you, don't forget to submit your resignation on time, or there will be trouble."

How could I overlook this issue? Suddenly, the thought came to mind, and I said," I cannot give up the job. First of all, this is a government job. I achieved it with difficulty, and secondly, it serves me money and the security of life. Sorry, Sanjiv, don't request me to do that."

“Then what would be the solution, Anu? We cannot stay together."

“I have a solution for that."

“What?"

“I will be staying with your mother. She needs a companion at this age. Don't forget, distance will keep our relationship good. We will be more inevitable to each other." I laughed in my mind.

“Okay, that might be possible, but you are a diplomat, no doubt. I have to be careful in future."

“What did you read by this time?" I changed the topic in a different direction.

“I have just finished a novel by Richard Buch. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull is the name of the story. In this story, Jonathan is a seagull who, unlike other birds of his flock, has a different

ambition for flight. He wants to learn to fly in the sky, not to catch fish for his food but for difficulties coming and how he would tackle them.

That is his passion, and he practices to fly in his way.

Buch says that the real Jonathan Seagull lives within us all.

If you want to read this, I can send it."

“Before that, I want to search for it in my school library. If I don't get it, you can send then."

“As you like. It's okay for today. I will call you later."

As soon as I put down the receiver, the phone rang again.

“Hello."

“Anu, my child, I am your uncle."

“Oh! Yes, uncle."

“We are all expecting you. When will you come?"

"May be today in the evening after school hours."

“Okay, thank you, my child."

That day, my visit to the ancestral house was different than ever I had visited. It was tension-free, cordially welcomed, and dignified. They served me tea with pakora (fried potato) and gossiped

like childhood friends. For the first time, I felt a felicity sitting with my family and sharing tea and pakora. I don't know why that day I sensed I was a bird, like Jonathan Seagull, who wanted to fly with his passion, which made him happy. The reason for the change in their sentiment might be my grandfather's death. He was the powerhouse for the family, navigating the whole family in the way he liked, ignoring others' emotions and passion. None of them ever thought to go out of his path because of his dominating personality. They have now learnt to live with the modern concepts of the outer world. They have learnt to forget the ancient ideas of ritualistic practice, which they followed for a long time as their legacy. That made our bondings closer to each other. Before I left, my uncle said," My child, your room remains locked for a long time. You, please come and stay sometimes." I opened the lock, gave the key to my uncle and said," From today, this belongs to you. I give up my share forever. Please make immediately the court paper I will sign it. Dipak is my friend more than a cousin's brother. Consider it as a gift for his wedding. What uncle, will you not think about his wedding?"

" Of course, my child, but what about you?"

Without saying anything, I smiled at him and left.

Before leaving the house, I handed some money to my grandmother secretly. She hugged me and stared with a soft look - a look of something as if she was searching for someone in my eyes, perhaps her son whom she lost a long time ago.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen

 


People in Calcutta in the late seventies saw many substantial changes in politics and society. They started learning to think beyond the social limits. They were gaining the courage slowly to challenge their traditional concepts, standing face to face. The concepts which forced them, especially women, for centuries, not to think about their passions. The new Marxist Government controlled the unstable political situation in Bengal. After a long time, people could take a relieved breath in the air. The period of trauma was almost over.

The ardent moment of freedom encouraged us, Sanjiv and me, and finally, we finished the wedding.

The new marriage life and the new government were heading towards achievement successfully surrounded by the lovable incidents.

Happiness is like the cloud-covered sun. Its presence and disappearance are unpredictable.


Our new marriage life was always busy in search of absolute happiness. We sipped the taste of every happy moment with a visit to a hill station near Dehra as the honeymoon trip.

Immediately after the honeymoon trip, we had to separate from each other because of our job issues. I returned to Calcutta, and he went back to Indore.

No longer the happiness sustained in our lives. The sun disappeared behind the cloud again, leaving the world gloomy for me.

I was then twenty-eight when Sanjiv left me alone in this forlorn world. A car accident snatched my love forever from me. I don't know what happened that day when he was on his way back from his office driving the car himself. As far as I know, he was a good driver. Besides, he had no habit of consuming alcohol. It remains obscured to me like a mystery story even today.

I confined myself in a solitary world where two lamentable lives at the two ends. Slowly, I forgot all my grief-stricken memories. I had to forget because of Sanjiv's mother. I saw a split mother lamenting the loss of a child whom she gave rise to keeping for nine months in her womb safely, nourished him fervently, and brought him up with values.

Before leaving, Sanjiv presented someone as a gift in my womb whom I could sense every moment. I plunged into a deep melancholy, like an ocean where, as if I was on boat surrounding water everywhere, no trace of land was as far as I looked.

 

 

Chapter Seventy



The passage of time erased all sad memories. I was regaining strength in my mind. Sanjiv's office offered me a job as a widow. Since I didn't want to give up my school job, I refused. Every weekend, I continued to visit my grandmother. One day, She also left me forever. Before leaving, she left a proposal for me. She whispered into my ear," Please, marry someone again." Although I committed to her for the time being, I was not mentally ready for that, but in my subconscious mind, I felt a need for someone with whom I could share my feelings.

A loud vociferation of a political procession on the street broke my thoughts and reminded me of Riju to pick up from school. I was late to pick up him. Passing by the school gate, I saw Riju was sitting with Indra. They both smiled at me.

“Sorry, my son. I was in my thoughts. It will never happen again." We both hugged each other.

I saw Indra smirking. I embarrassingly smiled and said," Sorry."

He said, touching my cheek," Doesn't matter, I know your problem."

Indra was not only a caring father but also a sensible husband. He was more a friend than a husband. He had the power to read my face.

Two years after Sanjiv's death, one day, he proposed to me directly," Anu, Do you marry me?

Please, this time, you don't say no."

“What, are you crazy?"

In our time, second marriage was not an easy task.

Seeing me remain silent, he continued," This is not compassion for you, but I need you."

I thought a life does not depend on emotion.

Sanjiv would never come back. Life is one. I could not spoil my life, but I said, “I need time to think."

As soon as Indra left, I called Deepak over the telephone as usual," I want to see you within half an hour here. It's urgent."

“Okay, my sister, but what happened? Anything wrong?"

“Nothing."

When he came, I told him all.

Focusing on the matter, he answered,“ I will advise you, Sanjiv is your past, and you cannot dwell on his memory for the rest of your life, and Indra is your present. Now you dicide."

That day, his tacit approval helped me decide to spend thirty-five years of married life with Indra.

I never compared Indra and Sanjiv. They are two distinct presences in my life, akin to two flowers in a garden. If one is Rose, then another is Dalia. Indra also left me two years ago. My son Riju is settled in the USA, working in a multi-national company.


I believe that every transformation holds meaning. As a 63-year-old woman, I still cherish memories of various people who have come in and out of my life. These memories are my companions in the present day. Although these people have left me, they will remain with me until my last breath, and I find comfort in that knowledge.




                                                         The End






Rate this content
Log in

Similar english story from Inspirational