My Journey From Complicated To 'Simple'

Hi, I am Dani. I am now sitting at the 12 th floor of my office building near a window and watching the vehicles passing through a nearby bridge. I am not a person interested in vehicles, as you think ( if you thought like that, human mind is unpredictable). But, I am interested in the people inside those vehicles. So that is kind of my hobby( I don't have a name for that activity, but it should be given a name that you can comprehend). I love watching and thinking about unique and complicated human behavior. I don't know whether all are as complicated as I think. But I am.

Through the corner of my right eye, I saw a white dress approaching me. I turned to the side, after pasting my unique smile ( complicated). Yes, there is a girl inside that dress. My colleague. Please don't overthink. I am not interested in her and well, she is definitely not interested in me. She came to hand me over some project documents. She left giving a smile back.

I am not a happy person, even though I like others to think that I am. But I am not a sad person either. I am selfish, I guess. I always smile, not the smile reaching the eyes though. Seriously, I hate smiling. See, complicated! I am on my own. I am 25 years old and I have been like this since my childhood. I am not mentally unstable because I know myself well. But I am eccentric, thanks to my parents for making me unique just by using a cliché weapon; Domestic violence. The most cliché element in human life, still people enjoy doing that, don't they? I don't know. 
Back to my hobby, when I was a kid , I used to watch people to see how happy they are and to be mad at myself for being so unlucky. Later I understood, I am not unlucky but before I could realize that, my 'character development' was completed. So I became complicated like this. I improvised my hobby though. Now, I watch people to see the pain behind their smile. Don't think I am a social responsible citizen or I am into charity. I just watch. Am I being cruel? I don't know. I just don't. 

Today I am here just to see one person. Now you assumed it right, it's a girl. She is also my colleague. Sitting in the front row . So I can see her face whenever I want to. She was not in my case studies, as she seldom smiles. So there was nothing interesting for me to scoop out from her. But I knew, she is simple and she was being herself. Not complicated like me. To my surprise, one day I saw her smile. Next week she came to me with a card. Her wedding card. She invited me along with all others for her marriage. We all went to her marriage. She came back after two weeks. She continued smiling . Still, she didn't become my case of interest, because she once proved to be genuine. Days passed. She is not smiling now. Then, somehow, I don't know I started watching her. She stopped smiling. I waited for three weeks, four weeks, two months. Still, no smile. So yesterday, I left a note to her immediately before leaving the office. Yeah, I ran after that. 

As a victim of domestic violence, I could have become a someone who helps thousands of kids who are into the same problem like me. But not everyone is cutout for that, especially me.  I am on my own. Still, I always asked myself is it what I am supposed to be? I always hated seeing couples sticking together for the sake of society. If my mother took a right decision at the right time, if she had stood up for herself, I should never have been like this.. complicated. I should have been a simple person who enjoys his life.

Well, the note I left was "You should have been with me. You know, you still can. At least, as a friend, may be. Please talk to me."

I am not an activist, or I am not being sympathetic to her, but I think I can make the life of someone simple. I wish that note makes her forget about the freaking society. I am also fed up with this complicated life. I wish to be simple now, with someone simple as her.