My Friend Shiva

As a reader you might wonder what is so special about my friend Shiva, that I write a story about him and that too for a competition. Allow me to introduce Shiva to you before I proceed further. Shiva could be many things to many people. In simple terms he is one of the Trinities as per Hinduism. Hinduism itself could mean many things to many people. Some say it is a way of life, some say it is a religion. Nobody certainly knows when it originated. There is no single book like Bible or Quran. There is plethora of classics called ‘puranas’ and there are plethora of Gods and goddesses to choose from. In my childhood it was Shiva’s son Murugan who was my favorite god. Somewhere down the line Shiva replaced him.

When it comes to religious or God matters you are labelled as agnostic, atheist, theist or gnostic. I consider myself a sceptic. Shiva unlike any other gods is a bit maverick. He smokes weeds, he dresses like an ascetic, he takes off on meditation binge. So much so when he comes back in one such binge there was a teenage boy guarding his house when his wife Parvati was bathing inside. Shiva could not recognize the boy and picked up a fight, in anger cuts off his head and does a plastic surgery of an elephant’s head so goes one of the myths about Shiva. I hope by now the reader understands that Shiva is no ordinary person. If he is God or not, I leave it to the reader to make up his/her own mind. It was interesting how I came upon talking to him in the first place.

5th August, 2019

In the annals of history of Bharata 5th August, 2019[1] was a significant date, I need not recount this here. In Bangalore where I live this period was in the middle of a monsoon. It was sometime in the evening I was strolling in my apartment terrace. There was overhang of dark clouds in the sky. Suddenly the sky turned very ominous as a prelude to something that was going to happen. There was lightning and thunder. Anticipating rain, I retreated to my flat when my phone rang and the caller introduced himself as Shiva from Kailash. I said I don’t know of Shiva from Kailash and it must be a wrong number. But he said “hold on. I am lonely out here. I am Shiva the Hindu God. One of the trinities and a destroyer.”

 

I immediately decided it was a prank caller. I cut the call. But the phone rang again and it was the same Shiva who requested in a pleading tone not to cut the call but to give him a few minutes. “listen” he said. “I don’t know what is happening in Bharata. Suddenly since yesterday the security forces have driven out people from here and I am left alone bereft of bhakts (devotees).” Having heard the news about a northern valley I understood the situation and thought to myself may be a sympathetic bhakt (devotee) or a security force personnel must have left their phone behind for Shiva to use. “Look, Shiva” I said “in order for me to continue this call, you need to send me a picture of your Aadhaar (unique identity used in Bharat). “but” Shiva interrupted, “I don’t have any such Aadhar, but the whole of Bharata knows me as the husband of Parvati, father of Ganesh and Murugan.” “hmm” I responded. “I too have heard of the stories and going by them you are one hell of an unreliable character.” I continued in the same vein and said “you are one guy who could not recognize your own son and cut off his head. More over what angers me is that you randomly cut off an elephant calf’s head. Being an ardent conservationist, what you have done is indeed a crime.”

There was some silence and I heard Shiva clearing his throat and started speaking. He said “It is true I suddenly disengage from domestic duties and go on a meditation spree. It was one such time when I came back this teenager was standing in front of my home and would not let me in. I am beyond time but even then, I didn’t realize how long I had been gone.” He continued after a pause “I am prone to temper when the little boy refused to recognize me, I chopped off his head. Later when Paravati narrated to me an incredible story of how she made a little baby out of clay and gave life to the baby who had grown into the fine teenager he was, I realized my mistake and found the first animal and cut off his head and fixed it.”

Somehow, he sounded desperate and the whole story sounded incredible and intrigued me. That someone could turn an inanimate object into an animate one and do a plastic surgery of an animal’s head onto a human body. Even if all that was possible, I wondered why Shiva could not fix the boy’s own head he had cut off. But I had decided to keep these questions for another conversation. Then I said “Shiva, I don’t know what to believe of your story. But you seem earnest in your explanation. I will let it rest for now. So, what I can do for you?” Shiva said “really nothing. I just felt lonely all of a sudden and wanted to share my mann ki baat (inner thoughts). I just needed someone I could talk to. Please introduce yourself if you don’t mind.” I said “I am Raju and I keep myself busy by writing something.” Then Shiva said “hope you can write about me and our conversations as well when time comes.”

As I mulled over the phone call several questions arose in my mind. How come the security fellows could not recognize Shiva? Is it that only bearded sadgurus can recognize Shiva and speak on his behalf? How come Shiva could not fix his son’s own head instead of that of an elephant? How old was his son when Shiva came back? How could Parvati have done this: giving life to a clay baby, to be considered as a magic trick or was it real? I jotted down these points as I had a gut feeling the phone calls from Shiva is not going to stop. Lest the reader think I am a nut, I have recorded the conversation and reproducing one of it faithfully for the readers to savor. The call came a few months after the first call by which time we established our delightful relationship

Trring Trrring

Shiva: Hello Raju

Raju: Hello Shiva

Shiva: Some inside and insidious news from my end. I hacked into the systems of the PMO.

Raju: Wow! Tell me.

Shiva: The government is going to come out with NFRC.

Raju: What is that? Another acronym. This government does believe in abbreviated rule.

Shiva: National Fitness Registry for Citizens.

Raju: oh! I smelt a rat when the national fitness day got announced on 29th August.

Shiva: your sense of smell is good, I must say. You can expect a parliamentary bill anytime soon.

Raju: I can imagine the contents already: criteria for fitness according to occupations, age, gender, Body Mass Index (BMI), and so on.

Shiva: You are quite spot on. However, it should not worry you with all your running and yoga.

Raju: Worrying, not for me, though! When I asked my daughter what she did on the national fitness day, she said nothing. So said her friend too. Whatever happened to patriotism/nationalism?

 Shiva: Secret black paper that has been prepared by one baba of national fame says it is going to create job opportunities for fit people. Straightaway they expect many unfit officers to submit their resignations in army, police, security establishments. Once the registry is complete, some extra time, like ninety days will be given so that unfit people will get time to tone up and meet the criteria. Those who can’t measure up to fitness in such jobs mentioned will have to put in their papers. Fit youth will get recruited. Gymnasiums and yoga center's will mushroom; fitness measurement center's (FMCs) will also be set up all over India like the motor emission center's providing new entrepreneurial opportunities. Of course, there is a clarification that this bill has nothing to do with epilepsy ‘fit’ and not to spread fake news about people having fits. The paper also talks about strengthening the existing fire stations and the creation of new ones should the measure backfire.

 Raju: I can imagine with the FDI having opened up multinational companies with motto like ‘Let us do it,’ ‘Impossible is nothing’ will set up their manufacturing center's and provide employment for 4 USD a day for workers. But at the same time, I expect the All-India Bakeries and Biscuit Manufacturing Associations will oppose the move as their sale is bound to dip.

Shiva: It is a matter of being fit vs. unfit.

Raju: hmm, no more the issue of bhakts vs. non-bhakts

Shiva: Indeed, this move is secular.

Raju: This conversation is already giving me an idea to set up a start-up called Fit O’ Fit. I will develop an app and provide membership by way of fees. The app will provide daily tips on diet, exercise, calorie count, etc.

Shiva: Good idea, and the tag line can be ‘salad days aayega (will come).’

Raju: Ha-ha, you are also becoming a satirist. I can add the usual disclaimer in the smallest of print. Let me quickly find an ap(p)t developer who is fit enough.

Shiva: What else is news from your side.

Raju: The municipality has installed an air purifier in one of the central traffic circles, which purifies air to the extent of 60 feet. It is working. But the downside has been that many people at the junctions have reported breathlessness on account of breathing purified air. Respiratory experts say that this is not unexpected as people have got so much used to polluted air; they are unable to cope with purified air.

Shiva: Unexpected side effects, I must come down to Bangalore and develop a new pranayama to cope with both purified and polluted air. Innovation is the key, and Patanjali cannot just promote ancient techniques alone.

Raju: Finally, Yediappa has set up his ministry with three deputy chief minister, and one of them has the reputation of being an avid porn watcher. So, the porn industry is drooling at this opportunity of becoming competitive again with others in the fray like Sexflix and Amazing Watch, etc. Now people can ‘party with a difference.’ A new kind of governance model with four bosses at the top, checkmating each other.

Shiva: And how is the economy doing?

Raju: We get daily shock in the market; shops are open, but no customers; our central bank says that animal spirit is missing. The government which promised to bring all the Swiss money had to raid the central bank kitty. But according to our PM in waiting economy is sound, and the stock market jeered his statement by going down further.

Shiva: That is why this NFRC, I suppose. The usual diversionary tactics for which your leader has an international reputation.

Raju: RNC (Registry for Nationalizing Citizens) seems to have backfired, those who wanted it in the first place are protesting that the methodology has not been fair. Never mind that the IT software has been developed by the best of the brain in business by an IITian.

Shiva: You are lucky something are other keeps happening, and your writing continues to get fed with new material. Here it is absolute silence. I am feeling lonely without my bhakts. There is no god without human beings.

And I interrupted to say “there is no writer without readers.” And I continued “if you as a god feel that way, I have to stop saying OMG, feel free to call anytime. ‘Bhakwas’ (loose talk) time has become cheap and a national past time. Everybody from top to bottom does it. Bye then.

Then came a hiatus in our conversations. The pandemic of COVID didn’t help in these times too. On March 2020 the PM had announced a nation-wide lock down. Then he announced a brief spell of 9 minutes of lamp lighting for the COVID warriors on the 5th April. I would remember the late evening for ever in my life. Although it was summer by the time it was sunset dark clouds had gathered from nowhere. The mood became a bit eerie forewarning of something to come. I recalled a similar occurrence when the first call from Shiva came. I wondered about Shiva. Then there was a knock at the door. I opened to see scrawny looking man, quite ageless, his face remarkable for the creases and the knotted long hair. He said “hello Raju.” I screamed in delight and said “Shiva, is it you really?” He gave me a gentle smile and I greeted him inside. I noticed the prominent tilak on his forehead where the third eye was supposed to be. As he looked haggard, I offered him a glass of water and asked him if he would like a cup of tea. He preferred a glass of cold milk which he downed it thirstily. By this time my wife and daughter joined me in my excitement and I did the mutual introduction.

When Shiva caught up with his bearing, he said for the past few days his abode was enveloped in smoke and smell of burning flesh. He could not stand it any longer and asked Ravana[2], his bhakt to send his aircraft Pushpak to pick him up and drop in Bangalore. He further added when I flew over Delhi I could understand where the smoke and the smell was coming from. Endless burning bodies in the crematorium. “Whatever happened to humanity” he exclaimed!

 

I then gave him a brief account of the COVID situation and how we are coping up. The nation has seen being declared as a world pharmacy for vaccines to being reduced to seeing vaccine paucity. The nation that gave pranayama (breathing techniques of Yoga) saw her citizens struggling with shortage of pranvayu (oxygen). Then I said that we are waiting for 9 pm when he could join the PM and his lamp lighting program as a token of respect for the COVID warriors. I teasingly told Shiva that he could demonstrate opening his third eye and light the lamp for us. My wife whispered to me in my ears not to tease Shiva lest he gets angry and burn me into ashes. Shiva yet again responded as if he heard what my wife whispered and said he would not do that to his friend. He ate some fruits we offered him and by the time it was 9 pm and Shiva obliged me by lighting the lamps with the third eye.

My wife and daughter were awed by this magic and I wasn’t so impressed. I thought any magician could do such a trick. Later I told my wife and daughter about the curly haired Baba who could perform miracles like this in view of general public. When I asked Shiva to stay with us for the night, he said he was proceeding to the abode of the famous guru on the outskirts of Coimbatore who had built a big statue of Shiva himself. He wanted to check out what was it that this guru had to have such a huge following and “I am jealous” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

 Our conversations continued on and off and we both warmed up to each other. In keeping with the times, I started offering pranams (respectful greetings) to him as “Om namo shah vaya[3].” He laughed it off saying that I am a quick learner. By then I picked up sufficient courage to question him about who he really was in the next conversation. I had recorded the conversation for the benefit of my readers too.

 

“Hello Raju

Hello Shiva

Shiva: No usual pranams

Raju: I want to know who and what you are and then offer pranams to you if you deserve one such. Are you a desh bhakt, do you care for national security? I understand the state is monitoring all conversations and I need to be safe.

Shiva: I already told you that I don’t have an Aadhaar

Raju: I believe there are things beyond Aadhar and PAN card

Shiva: Indeed, I don’t even have a mirror here, I can see no form.

Raju: go on.

Shiva: I am as seen by the bhakt.

Raju: Are you like the Shiva of Meluha[4]?

 

Shiva: That is the way Amish sees me, so I become for him. How do you see me?

Raju: As an ascetic, prefers silence, meditates.

Shiva: There you are, I am like that for you.

Raju: it is like the story of the blind men and the elephant.

Shiva: So be it.

Raju: But then…you are supposed to be one of the trinities, a destroyer and so on

Shiva: To the creator I am

Raju: You mean Brahma?

Shiva: No, the one who conceived me as one of the trinities.

Raju: So, there are many forms, which is the core?

Shiva: I am without any core.

Raju: This is like rocket science. Ok, let me ask you slightly more mundane things.

Shiva: Proceed

Raju: Did you receive the Ganges from the sky?

Shiva: Have you seen any origin of a river?

Raju: Yes, I suppose. I have been to Thala Cauvery, and that is where the river Cauvery originates.

Shiva: Then why ask about Ganges, there must be a similar origin.

Raju: Oh! What about the yoga sutras (rules)? You are considered to be the Adi Yogi and taught the yoga sutras to Patanjali

Shiva: Have you seen gymnast performing?

Raju: yes, on TV. What about it?

Shiva: Don’t they also bend their body.

Raju: Of- course they do.

Shiva: Do they talk about any Patanjali?

Raju: Not that I know of. They have coaches, and they train hard, I understand.

Shiva: So why this association of Yoga and me. Haven’t you seen dogs and cats stretching?

Raju: Yes, but then, the holy scripture Yoga Sutra talk of all this.

Shiva: Have you read the Harry Potter series?

Raju: I think one or two.

Shiva: Do you think platform nine and ¾ exist? Or for that matter the Principal Dumbledore, or the dark lord?

Raju: Not really, yet there is a great fan following, hit movies get made and in some centuries to come, it may become part of the mythology

Shiva: You got it right this time. I think that it is the way it has been.

Raju: So, to sum up, you are saying if I believe you do exist, if I do otherwise, you don’t!

Shiva: Something like that.

Raju: Ok. Let us leave aside you for the moment, what about Karma.

Shiva: What about it?

Raju: Why do people suffer? e.g., it is raining cats and dogs in Mumbai, and the lot of poor suffer the most, drowned in the floods.

Shiva: So, what is karma about all these. I understand that the Mumbai municipality is the richest in the country, and the city is well known for rains, and the same story repeats each year.

Raju: yes, indeed. You mean to say that it is the fault in the system that the municipality, in spite of a rich coffer, does not take preventive action. There is encroachment, corruption, power, and all these make a potent combination that prevents any improvement in the infrastructure. Where is the accountability?

Shiva: Yes, indeed. You humans give too much power to the unknown and rest in laziness and sloth.

Raju: hmm (silence follows)

Shiva: Silence is right, you know. You allow things to settle down, and that brings some clarity in thinking.

Raju: Yet I am curious across our border lies an equally ancient land, where I think only a few people know you. Why is that?

Shiva: Raju, let us assume that gods created earth. It is you human that created borders, nations, even religion, for that matter. The elements of nature like the sun, moon, rivers don’t distinguish countries and people. You dam a river and fight over it and be damned. Something similar is right about the kind of food you all eat. In the beginning, as you know you humans survived by hunting, then gathering and cultivation. Some prefer rice to wheat, and so on. Some still eat meat some over others prefer meat of a kind. But these issues dominate your headlines. Gods don’t figure in all this.

Raju: Obvious indeed.”

Over several days I mulled over the above conversation. I recalled a Tamil song which said “if you think it is a stone, it is a stone. If you think it to be God, then it is a god.” It all comes to a matter of belief or faith in simple terms. I realized there was nothing wrong in being a non-believer.

I was ok with my skepticism of Shiva really being a god and I told him so. He didn’t take any offence. In any case he said we can continue as friends and we remain as such. 

 

  [1] Article 370 was abrogated. 

  [2] Ravana considered as a villain in Ramayana, whereas Sri Lankans would consider him to be a great king and the inventor of the first aircraft Pushpak. 

  [3] Incidentally namo and shah represent the two most powerful beings in Bharata at the time of writing. Original prayer for Shiva went as ‘om nama shivaya.’

  [4] A certain author by name Amish wrote a famous novel “Immortals of Meluha” where the central character was Shiva.