Meander

It is again that time of the year when there is a wedding, a ceremony, a function, a family get-together almost every day. You are there with me yet not there. You are close yet so far. You pose as a perfect fiancé in all the photographs – picture perfect. Friends, relatives and even acquaintances shower us with compliments adding a suffix – touch wood.

But no one knows how it is heart-wrenching to live with two persons – you and your ex. You don’t know how badly I want to be your present, but you meander in the catacombs of the past. You hug me but want to inhale her scent. You kiss me but search for her lips. You hold my hand, but want to feel her skin. Your eyes are always on me, but full of hope of her. I am not asking you to stop loving her. I am asking you to stop searching her in me.

The other thing that bothers me is the fear of her coming back into your life. If she ever comes back, will you leave me then? I should have thought of all this before getting engaged, but you had me believed that you have moved on. And even now you will say the same thing. But your eyes tell a different story.

You wander off in painful alleys while I am walking on flowery grass beds – mourning versus hope, a tomb versus a bud waiting to bloom into a flower. One day you will lose your way in those catacombs, and I will help find your way back again. Then I will be your present, and you will meander in the labyrinth of love and happiness.