Maturity

 Maturity has a lot to say about an individual's character. You can take in a lot about one's actions, emotions, and tone considering the conversation that you are having. You just know when one is trying, to elaborate the story to draw your attention. Then there are the one's who are uncommunicative, unsociable, and you can't figure them out. Having you question yourself on; if you can say what you need/want too them or, are they going to use your words against you and blackmail you. Lastly there's the one's who play the game teleophone. The one's who smile in your face and eat off your plate, turn around and blast your business to anyone and everyone just to cause a scene. 

 Honestly, I've been all three of them im certainly not proud nor am I bragging. But it has taught me alot in my 19 years of living, and hopefully teaches me alot more. I never really had a full time adolescence, childhood, teenhood. I've always been a girl put in a womens state of mind. Let me explain...

 My long journey begun around the age of 2. Being placed home too home, between relatives. Soon after the relatives wasn't able to get off there bums and be parents, foster care got involved. Finally at the age of 7, I got placed with my paternal grandmother. I don't remember much of them days, more of the horrifying one's than decent ones. Little did I know living on a farm would've took such a toll on my adolescent years. 

 It was a good couple of years as far as I can remember. My step-grandfather showed, taught, helped, me with everything and anything I asked for. He was my shield from the monsters that was trying to reach me. After he passed, my life took a horrible turn to the dark. Grandmother let my uncle and his girlfriends, father, step-mothether, take over. Always something, drunk days, high days, beaten days, and some memorable days. I would play momma too my little brother, when there wasn't an appropriate adult taken care of him. I would play momma to the grown up also. Father gets drunk wets himself id get him fresh clothes for when he woke. Father and step-mother get into physical fights id always throw myself between them so my baby brother wouldn't witness. Then it became a nightmare.. I was thrown into the drug world. Try to speak up upon my abusers nobody would listen, until I acted out... 

 Found my mother at the aged 13 got a ride to go live with her. It wasn't any better just added on to the weight I was carrying. Drinking, popping pills, smoking left and right. Started having intercorse the first night in my mothers care. I believe I had intercores with atleast 3 different guys the same night I went to my mothers. That when I became so some people call it disobedient troublemaking child. Going to middle school, "when I did show up". Bullying left and right, up and down, anyway I went to take a step there was always an nasty ugly comment made. It came too the point I tried suicide 4 times in that year. Started getting sent off to foster cares, residentials, bootcamps, house arrest. There was not a solid year that I was not in states care, from age 14 to 18. I would runaway any chance I got. Would claim pregnancy multiple different times, just so the guy I was with wouldn't leave me. Man, all I wanted was someone too love me, too care... 

 18 birthday hit, and I ran wild like the roadrunner as soon as I was free. End up being homeless sleeping on park benches, long lost relative got ahold of me moved I moved in. She end up going to the hospital, lost her 3 beautiful children, I still blame myself for. Her social worker said I had to leave or she wouldn't get her babies back. I left end up moving in with my sister and her boyfriend. Sister hooked me up with her boyfriends best friend. WENT TO HELL RIGHT AWAY! Left with this man maybe a month, broke up. Ended back up at my sister's boyfriends house. They end up breaking up, then next thing I realized I marrying my sisters ex boyfriend who she's been with for a few years. 

 Currently, still married to him going on a year, Satan has tested our marriage many different times and ways in this year. But we are still managing it. Long story short, don't seek attention from anothers background. Physically, Sexually, Emotional, mental, abuse is serious! 

IT TAKES A GIRL TO BECOME A WOMAN.

IT TAKES A WOMAN TO HELP BUILD, TEACH, LEARN, from other WOMEN!!! 

STOP BEING AGAINST EACHOTHER AND JUDGING, BE THE WOMAN, AND STAND BY THE ONE WHO CAN'T SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!!! 

VIS VERSA WITH BOYS, MEN.