Keep It To Yourself
Keep It To Yourself
Hi, I am Swati, a school going fifth standard kid, who is neither a prodigy nor a dumb poor fellow but is a protagonist here, and I am presenting to you all, some instances from my past which I must, because it's better to learn from others' mistakes rather than waiting for them to be repeated for you!!
So, it was a stale summer evening but our enthusiasm lashed the heat aside for us to quickly bang out in a group to play outside. But then a voice interrupts, "Swati, go and bring some curd from the dairy shop." "Okay mum", I replied and ran out to the shop. There were around 3 customers and I was the fourth one, but since I was a fourth standard tiny kid, my turn came when everyone was over, and the ones who came after me were also finished by then!
I asked for curd, he (a small bald and white-skinned man) made the packet and offered it to me, asking for money, I handed over the paper note to him and he with that paper pressed my hand for four solid seconds! I smelled danger and ran away but because I was small, I just ignored and went back home and then to play.
Now, it's late-night, we were still playing, and I heard a bold voice of a tensed mother in search of her small daughter, it was my mom, she came carrying a stick in her hands, I ran, in the pace that never matched me, in the pace of mum's fear.
Then, next morning, I was told to bring some accessories from that shop, by this time I was hesitant, hesitant to that touch which seemed to be repulsive, but then again mom said "Swati, what happened, we have no time, bring the items! " "Okay mum", I replied.
There were people, again I was the last one to be served. So, till then I was aware that something was wrong, why I was kept standing till the crowd vanished, and that day I faced something weird. When I was heading to pay money from my little fingers, that bald man came out, covered me from my back and grasped my tiny chest in the fit of his fists, left me, took the money and then went back into his shop, all that happened in the glitch of few seconds! I didn't even get the time to wonder of what all happened, and the next moment when I was left free, I went straight to home, kept the items, and dived into my bed without even having a thought to play with my friends! That day I didn't play rather I must say, from that day didn't step out to play or I didn't step out to do anything.
It was the new me who was selfish, who only thought of herself and not of her mother's call, that selfish me who only thought to lay in the four walls and not to play out, it was an aware me, aware to that much extent that I didn't listen to or talk with my mum regarding the same.
Now, it has been 12 months and I do not step out of the house, even when my mum is alone and she needs my help to bring some handful of items from the shop.
Yesterday, she needed milk as my dad was about to come and he had to have tea. I said, "NO", she said, "please dear", I said "NO", she asked "why", I said "NO", she frowned, I said "NO", she slapped me once, I said "NO" with dry tears in my eyes, she held my arms as if she had read my abnormality and asked, "what happened dear, is there any problem?", I broke and said "no", she sensed my insecure skin!
I narrated to her the whole scene that took place a year back. Her cheeks contracted and around ten sticky tears ran through them, but within a few minutes, she said, "everyone is not as good as you think"! Next, she went to his family and talked wisely to the superfemale in his family, as usual, they tried to be as decent as they could! The next thing I remember is I have been told, " Dear, keep it to yourself" and move on!!
It happens in every second house here, and every third house is told to "keep it to yourself", just because they don't want to be engaged in the time-consuming law where there is no guarantee that you will get back your confidence but there is a guarantee that you will lose your character for sure!!
So, they prefer to "keep it to yourself".