Kanyadaan

"Kanyadaan" a word she didn’t like

Kanyadaan, a word used with a lot of pride but what does this word literally mean “kanya” a girl and “daan” a gift given/ an offering given/a responsibility handed over/ a possession donated.

Being a kanya and born in a country where “kanyadaan” is a highly prestigious practice, I was also given as a gift/offering in my marriage. Personally speaking, I always pondered on this big fat word “kanyadaan” as I never ever liked it used for me.

A girl is a human being and not a commodity/ a showpiece/ a mere responsibility. She is a human with feelings, soul, heart, and emotions… same as a man. Why don’t we follow “Purushdaan”?

Parents bring up their daughters with love. They teach her how to face problems in life, live life positively. Protect her from every difficulty. A bond gets formed between a parent and a daughter. A relation gets formed which is stronger and pure than any other relation on this earth.

Parents give birth, they give life, and no other relation on earth does this for you. Is this birth given to a responsibility, is this bond formed with a showpiece, and is this love given to a commodity?

One day this life which was nurtured with loads of love and affection will be offered/ donated as a daan in a ritual…

Tried to do a little research and found that this word does not come from any Vedic literature but is created by humans/ society. This practice comes from the medieval age when girls were not safe because of chaos, wars etc. So to give a safe environment, shelter, protection to the girl she was made to tie a knot with a man, who would promise to take care of her chastity, purity and she in turn would take care of him, his house and raise a family.

It was a unity between Man (Vishnu) with Woman (Laxhmi). Giving this whole practice the name of “kanyadaan” isn’t it atrocious? This word totally breaks my heart….

Just think how can a parent become fortunate/ get relief from their sins by giving/ donating their most precious possession (a life/ a daughter)

As a society we are fighting against girl child abuse, what do we name this practice “Kanyadaan” and the icing on the cake is giving away the girl child along with the wealth that the parents slog their life to earn… we practice and use terms but don’t understand the meaning, emotions, depth that lies beneath.

Being a parent myself, I will never ever give my daughter as a “kanyadaan” she is a part of my life, how can I give away my life as a gift… being given as a daan to someone is not what a daughter deserves, she deserves much much more… self-respect as a human being..

“It’s time to change, It’s Time to Think, and it’s time to Reflect……”