Infatuation Or Lust...?

Air rushed through my face and filled me with emotions. Surrounded in the "blue" black midnight with alcohol in my hand, my fragile emotions made me drink more. Hadn't I been a normal person before meeting him ? Emotions mixed up giving me a satisfied feeling of having him around me. Long lost my days of happiness. Being alcoholic I did lose myself for the love I cherished to be forever. For the forever that was meant to stay did go away.

I wondered what would I have been today if that one reason to break wouldn't have arisen. That bold and strong nature of mine with a soft corner for him made me go through a lot which I never expected to be.

Was infatuation really a reason to break up with me ?

Infatuation was what he always had towards me. Loving was always what I did. Digging a whole everyday in my heart and and putting my feelings inside it has become regular. Drinking alcohol is a must to overcome these. Being a clown in his so called circus was what my role was to play. Being a toy he loved the most to play with is what I was , was I supposed to face all these ? Had I been so different if that would have never been a reason to break. Toxics inside me were bleeding, could he ever just understand what did I go through ? Drinking everyday for the person I wished to be forever has become my life. Life Being An Alcoholic .