I Just Can't Party Like I Use

I realize I can't party like I used to

I realized this on my last visit home. Since moving to Florida I have lived a healthy lifestyle. Back in the day, I was a 2 liter-a-day Pepsi drinker which I gave up years ago. I also gave up smoking cigarettes, drinking heavily, and staying out all night partying.

I now wake up every morning at    5 a.m. so I could be at the gym by 5:30 a.m. to work out for 2 hours. I eat right, I pack my own lunches every day, I eat mostly chicken and fish and I hardly ever eat anything that tastes good. On the weekends you can find me walking or running on the beach or riding my bike on the boardwalk. I also love yoga, I do meditation and I am very tired of all sorts of different things to stay in shapes like pole dancing, aerial yoga, and ballroom dancing.

My whole lifestyle now is totally different from what it was before. Before I got married I had a problem with drugs and alcohol. I stayed out every night, I danced until dawn, and I did every drug known to mankind. I ran my life recklessly but you know how things change when you get married and have children.

I now realized my mortality and how I have the odds stacked against me because of my family history of heart attacks, so I decided to change. Was it easy? Oh Hell no but nothing in life worth anything is easy but I did it. I now feel amazing, I have energy, my body feels good and I think I look good. This has been my lifestyle for the last 28 years, so when I go home, I'm out partying with my friends who still party like I did 28 years ago, and hell it took a toll on me.

I'm not used to staying up late, I go to bed by 10 p.m. I didn't exercise for the whole 10 days.

I ate whatever, whenever, I wanted to and I don't think I even saw a green vegetable or vegetable at all for that matter unless it was a garnish on my drinks. I drank way more than I probably drank all year here and trust and believe I felt like shit because of all of this.

I like feeling healthy, I even like getting up at 5 in the morning... okay, maybe not so much but I do it because of the feeling I get afterward when I come home. Partying like that made me feel sluggish, totally not feeling good, like when I am exercising and eating right. Look, I get that my friends still have this way of life and if it works for them I'm happy for them but I realize that that is so not my life anymore.

I enjoy taking care of myself and yes, I do enjoy once in a great while, indulging in things that I normally don't. I always say all bets are off when I'm back in New York because I miss the food so much but in my world now everything is in moderation. I can have that piece of pizza but I can't have the whole pie. I can have a cannoli but I can't have half a dozen. I can have a drink. I can't be doing shots in the bar until 3 am. I care about my body, I care about my mental health and for me, that means I need to live this healthy lifestyle.

I could easily slip back down that rabbit hole, back into my addiction and I know how fast I can happen so for that reason alone I need to know my limits. If you read my blog you know I'm all for whatever gets you through your day, if partying every weekend is your thing, good for you, if that's what gets you through your day go for it. I'm just an advocate of what works for me, and for me, a healthy lifestyle works. It makes me think better, it gives me more energy, it makes my whole day feel better and so I realize that I am no longer the party animal I once was and I have to wave the white flag and concede to that fact.

So today my friends remember it's okay to grow and change, you are no longer that person you once were. You have realized what works for you and what doesn't anymore and it's okay.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to run all this alcohol and food out of my system and that may be a long-ass run.

"Be the change you want to see"