Homesickness

It was that time of the year again. The clouds hadn't quite decided yet whether they should rain anymore or not. Maybe even they wanted to be part of it all. All the lights and fireworks and celebrations. When one festival is followed by another and then another and so on, all it is left is a house full of sweets and empty with memories. The heart is never content you see. Offices gear up before this time. Sweets, gifts, and bonuses are distributed and leaves are granted. Everyone wants to go home.

Samar sat down that cold October evening, wondering, contemplating, what this Diwali had in store for him. Last year he had single-handedly upgraded the office website. 'A new look after the holidays', he had said. As he sat in his cabin, sipping the same machine-made coffee, he couldn't help but remember what it used to feel like going home. That strange feeling in the stomach, that gush of excitement every time there was anything that even remotely reminded him of home, which was followed by a hopeless smile. A smile that stayed right from the day tickets were booked, until the day of the journey.

It was strange to remember all this. For a few seconds, he felt a ghost of that smile on his face today. But the feeling in his stomach, though still strange, was very different today. He no longer knew where his home was. His parents' place used to be the home, until the night of that fateful accident. The night that changed everything. His home no longer was a happy place. It was a building haunted with memories, and objects which were possessed. Ones that sent him into a deep frenzy of anxiety and depression. So he finished his coffee and went to the printing department. Maybe their software needed an upgrade this year.