Him And Her

She doesn't wanna live but she also doesn't wanna die. She hates to admit the fact that she broke her heart losing something that wasn't even hers. She still questions the fight they had that day, the day that'd turn their worlds upside down, the day that'd be their last, the day that left a scar on her heart.

It's been almost six months and yet she catches him looking at her almost everyday. Those eyes are how her soul catches on fire. Everytime they lock eyes, she sees it- warm eyes peering at her with intent despair and curiosity. They gaze upon her with remorse. It sends thunderous shivers across her body. She can't figure out his gaze... What are his eyes trying to tell her?

The more he looks at her, the colder she gets. The colder she gets, the more his ego's attacked.

She wants to glance at him, she really does...but she can't, it'd be unfair to herself. He broke her heart. She deserved a better goodbye. Then why does she feel a pinch of ache everytime she gives him the cold shoulder?

How many times has he tried to come near her? How many times has he tried to catch her attention? Either by being too loud or by coincidently appearing wherever she is. How many times has he made it obvious that he's looking at her? How many times until he finally stops? How much longer is she gonna pretend that it isn't tearing her apart...that he doesn't matter? How much longer can she lie to herself?

Even though their friendship has ended, it's still not really over. But was it just friendship? Were they really just friends? Do friends really look at friends that way? The way he looks at her..

Things always find a way of coming back, don't they? The things we didn't deal with, the feelings we didn't sort out. But how can she convince her heart that unsaid words do not mean unfelt emotions? How does she tell it to stop thinking about that one boy? How does she ask it to let that small piece of hope slip away? How can she tell herself that he's never coming back...