Herpetophobia

“Every time I go to sleep tha..that thing is all I see”. 

I was an average boy in my teenage years, just a normal boy with no disorders or anything. I had a home, friends, family everything a boy would need I guess. Not a care in the world I had, a “normal life”. 

It was a Thursday afternoon, December 19th 2018. I was in class, barely dragging myself through the day. Tired of hearing the lectures of our history teacher, thinking why it was taking so long for the bell to ring and end my suffering. With my head laying on the desk I was staring at the white walls of my class room, I don't know why, maybe just trying to see if I stared long enough that something new might appear. Something did appear. It was a small slightly brownish black salamander, which grossed me out. I don’t know why but from as far back as I can remember I held a certain disgust towards any type of amphibian, whether it's a salamander, newt or frog. The part that scares me the most about them is their eyes which look like empty voids of darkness. 

After I saw the salamander for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off it, as if it was calling on me. As it kept staring it turned its head towards me and stared back at me.it felt that slowly the corner of its mouth moved slightly upwards, smiling at me. Suddenly the bell rang and I felt like I was snapped back into reality. I didn’t know what just happened, so I quickly grabbed my bag and left for home. 

As I was walking down the street I kept remembering the way it looked at me, the way it stared back at me, as if mocking me. I spent the way thinking about that but as i got home i somewhat forgot about it. I usually stayed up till past 2 am. That day I was tired so I went to bed at 8. I have a habit of getting up in the middle of the night and drinking water, due to which I always keep a bottle next to my bed. That night I got up again to drink water. After I had two to three sips I laid back down to sleep, it takes me fairly quick to go back to sleep. But that day as I closed my eyes to sleep I felt something big walking around my room. I being how I am, didn't really investigate these things so I kept my eyes shut and after a few seconds the noises stopped, but for a moment after it felt like something was right on top of me, on my ceiling and I could hear heavy breathing, as I was about to open my eyes to see the ring of my alarm clock woke me up.

 The day went on pretty normally, I didn’t even remember most of the other night's incidents.

 That day I stayed up till 1 am doing homework and streaming the world cup with my friends online. After 1:10 I felt tired so I went to bed. Again I woke up in the middle of the night feeling the need to drink water, but as I tried to get up I couldn’t. My body won’t move how much I tried, I was paralyzed. In these moments I saw that…thing.

 In the dark I couldn’t clearly see its features but it was a human-like silhouette stuck on a corner of my ceiling like a lizard. I stared at it and it stared back at me just like that salamander the other day in class. And as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see its color brownish black, its long tail and pure black eye. as I watched it crawled across the ceiling and came directly on top of my bed. The corners of its mouth bended upwards forming a huge smile. As it smiled I heard a loud ringing noise and woke up.

 After that incident till this day I kept seeing the same dream. The psychiatrist said, what you experienced was a sleep disorder called sleep paralysis and I can assure you that thing is not real. I got up and grabbed my coat and started to leave the office feeling comforted, but as I was leaving i saw a lizard again at the corner of the psychiatrist's office, staring at me, Smiling