Encounter with the Lord

Religion and religious practices have never been an attraction to me. No, I'm not a person with no faith and beliefs, but I've never been quite vocal on or rigid towards anything related to the conventional idea of Gods, Goddesses or idol worship. The only constant has been Lord Jagannath. Kalia. 

After almost a restless year of not seeing those big, black eyes, I decided to visit His shrine by myself. Never in my 23 years of life have I done that, wandered around the premises alone. But this time I decided I would. And it was the most magical time I ever spent.

All the charm that Kalia exudes brings in thousands of devotees every day. Thursday was no different. I mean, of course, He is who He is, right? An hour in the scorching heat is never a difficulty. The sun, it cleanses us, before we enter into the abode of the most beloved God. At some point, I considered waiting as a test, but now as I move ahead in life, I realise it's never a test, the wait. All it ever was and will be is a way to appreciate what we're looking for or putting our efforts into. 

Anyway.

This time, I was aware, more than I ever was in my visits before. Maybe it was a perk of being by myself. There were so many kids around, of varying ages. In intervals, devotees would raise both their hands and call out "Jay Jagannath" and the kids would follow their lead. In front of me was an kid of around 10 months who I'm sure was clueless to the call but no matter, would raise both of his tiny hands up and smile. That's when I realized the process of how faith and beliefs are handed down to generations. They change, but nonetheless, a remnant stays back and comes in full force in times of anxiety, desparation and gloom. Yes, we stray away from that path for years, but like I believe, whatever we've been through, whatever we've nurtured, comes back to us in forms we never expect it to: strength, the hope, the generosity, the forgiveness and every humane emotion on the planet. 

As I entered into the sanctum, it was overwhelming. Yes, the crowd made me nervous and jumpy, but an energy surged through my entire existence. I drifted into a trance. I walked and walked in the sea of people for what felt like an eternity. Until I saw His eyes. And everything came to a stop.

Tears flowed freely as I delved deep into what He had to show me. If He had anything to show me. I don't remember if I saw anything except those magical eyes. It was just me bathing in my tears under His understanding gaze, washing off all the regrets, grudges, complaints, woes and sins. 

It was forever in a matter of minutes. I didn't experience a calm wash over my unsettled soul, but I sure did feel settled. I didn't find answers to the thousand questions I had, but it didn't matter. All I cared about and treasured was that Kalia listened to me, to every word I had to say. And He understood. I know He did.

Just as I about to step out, a tuneless murmur caught my attention. On the stairs of the exit door was a woman in tattered clothes, with her eyes shut, humming Kotha Bhoga Khia. I stared at her for a minute or two and left wondering the magnitude of His influence on the lives of every living soul.