Ego Wala Love- Part 2

As soon as Ravi received that message from Kaushik, so many questions popped up in his mind. Was I too selfish or self-centered that I overlooked his feelings? What if Kaushik was wrong? What if I was daydreaming. He said to himself. As soon as he reached Bangalore he called Kaushik, but he didn’t pick up the phone as usual. Kaushik was in some other zone and he couldn’t blame for the same, but Ravi just wanted to know how he was feeling, and how he was doing so he dropped in a text to check.

Hope you are okay man, please call me whenever you feel free to talk to me. Ravi texted Kaushik.

I am fine Ravi, or if not then I will be fine with time. Not sure why we dragged ourselves into this much complexity. Life was simpler earlier, but it’s okay, things will be fine with time. He replied within a minute

I don’t understand why it is so difficult to talk overcall? Ravi replied back.

Haha, you know me, I prefer chat over call and you vice versa, but this time give me a little time, dil toota hai yaar :D He replied.

Dil toota hai aur phir bhi you are laughing, that’s why you are best. Ravi replied back

Yeah, Chandler to Joey :P He replied.

They talked about some random stuff, he wanted to deviate Kaushik and to his surprise, he was able to do it.

After chatting for over an hour Kaushik finally asked Ravi, the most dreaded question.

When you are going to talk to her?

Never.!!! Maybe you were right she might have liked me earlier, but now she hates me, so it’s okay, I don’t want to hurt her more. She has suffered a lot. I will also be fine as you, time heals everything. Ravi replied back.

No Ravi, now please don’t do that to yourself. She might be angry now, but in a few weeks, she will be okay. Please promise me you will talk to her, I didn’t elope from my marriage because of this, I want you both to get together and sort it out. He replied.

You don’t have to be this good Kaushik, otherwise, life will treat you the way I treated you. Ravi replied with guilt

Stop it, Ravi, it’s done and dusted. I am trying to move on, it hurts but that is the least which I can try to do and you should do the same. So whatever happened, happened for good. It’s no one’s fault. But man can’t believe this, Nandini once in her life liked both of us and hated both of us. Kaushik replied

Haha, actually, that is true. Chal you take a rest now, and call me, text me whenever you feel like it. I will probably sleep now. Ravi said.

Yeah, sure man, Good night and please talk to her whenever you feel like it. He replied

2 months passed in a jiffy, Ravi used to write about his everyday feelings in his diary before going to sleep every day. He followed the same boring routine and talked to Kaushik every now and then, and after every chat, he used to insist Ravi talk to her. Ravi never found the courage. He felt utter guilty underneath..!!!

Finally one day Ravi decided to talk to her, her WhatsApp profile picture was missing so he assumed she had blocked him, her Facebook account was also deactivated, still, he messaged her on WhatsApp, and to his righteousness, it was one tick, he waited for 5-6 hours but it remained single tick. He had her mom’s number too so thought of calling her, but then he stopped, what if she also got to know the main reason, she would slap him from there only. He pondered.

After 10 hours of juggling, Ravi finally installed Instagram and started searching for her, this was the first time he was trying so hard to find her, and after 1 hour of hard work, he found her..!!!

He messaged her and started waiting, the wait was killing him so he started watching Friends, after watching 7 episodes also, there was no luck and thought of unending the message, soon his phone beeped. She had replied..!!!

Hi, what do you want? She had replied

He read the message again and asked himself, What actually do I want? Did I ask something like that? No, okay well she was being sarcastic.

I just wanted to know how you are doing. He replied back

And why does it bother you? She replied

She was on fire..!!!

Ho kaisi wo to bata do? No need to shoot another question against one. Ravi texted back.

WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU ANYTHING???? She literally wrote as if she was screaming.

Nandini, I know I have pissed you off real bad, and you should be angry with what I have done but my whole purpose of messaging you was to know how you are doing now, but it’s okay, If it’s bothering you and making you angry, I will take leave. Sorry again and I will always be sorry. Ravi replied back.

How amazing right? You chose your entry and exit as per your convenience, if it really bothered you, you would have messaged me within a few weeks, but now there comes the EGO, Ravi ka EGO, which is higher than Everest. So please stop this drama and stop asking me how I am and how I am doing, I hate you and will always hate you, and thanks again for reminding me, reminding me of the worst day of my life when I and my family was humiliated to the core, in front of my relatives and friends. Thank You..!!!

Ravi couldn’t believe it, he did hurt her again. He literally had tears in my eyes, this was not supposed to go like this, he wanted to console her, talk to her, make her feel a little better, tell her that he knew that she used to like him once upon a time. But all went haywire. He promised himself that never in his life, he would message her again, she was again crying because of him. He called Kaushik and told him everything.

Man, she is just hurt for whatever I did to her, she showered my anger on you, you don’t feel sad, she still needs time. He said.

No man, I am done now, years have passed but her hatred for me will never go away. I know she is hurt and I have inflicted this on her. But from the past 3 years, not even a single day passed, when I did not think of her. I don’t have anyone in my life Kaushik, no parents no relatives, as it is I have been a loner in my life, but I still love those small moments when I was with her. But now I get why I am alone because a person like me deserves nothing. I back-stabbed my best friend, the only girl whom I loved in my entire life hates me to this extent. So, it’s better if I end this here. I will try to move on now as there is no point in hurting her again and again. Ravi sadly told Kaushik.

Not only did he tell that to Kaushik, but he also applied the same in his life as well. He changed his number. He deleted his Facebook account and newly created Instagram account as well. He archived every note which he wrote for her. He burnt all the diaries where he used to write about her.

Soon, Kaushik met another girl and in a year they got married, Ravi attended their marriage. Kaushik also lost contact with Nandini, he tried to contact her a few months back, but she never responded so he had written a big mail for her, but she didn’t respond to that one too. Soon he moved on and met Anjali and they got married.

4 years passed like that, but there was never a day when Ravi did not think about Nandini. He always missed her. Always...!!!

Ravi, there is one interview that you need to take today. I am forwarding her resume. Please check. Ravi’s boss ordered.

Sure Puneet. Ravi replied.

Ravi felt a rush of blood. What, How can this happen. His jaws dropped as he opened the Resume attached to the email. It was Nandini’s Resume...!!! He felt numb, and the thought of interviewing her, made me cringe like anything.

Ravi, you okay? She is not good or what? Her experience is the same as yours. Puneet asked me.

No, Puneet she is fine, but why do we need her? I asked randomly

To load off your burden man. What has happened to you? A few weeks back you only asked that you need someone, to balance out the load of your work, so I thought, will get you an experienced person to share the load, and she is a girl too, so at least, you will have some positive change in your boring professional life, Ravi. His boss winked at him.

No, Puneet, not her. Get me some junior, I will be okay. Ravi replied by trying to avoid eye contact.

No junior this time, just interview her and let me know, I have a meeting in a few hours, need to update my boss. So please don’t delay Ravi. He left the cabin without waiting for him to again deny the interview part.

Ahh, my destiny man, it sucks and I am again trapped. This workspace, where I sit for 12-15 hours every day, is the only thing in my life that keeps me away from her thoughts but now God is trying to take this away from me as well. Why God Why. Ravi asked God, looking up in disgust and anger

He called her.

Hello, Nandini this side. She spoke

His heart was pounding.

Hello, Ravi literally stammered.

He talked to her for 5 minutes just to know how suitable she was for this job. And Hell man she was, as always..!!!

After the interview, he went to the washroom and washed his face 10 times, and his eyes were red.

Why on earth can’t move on. Kaushik moved on, maybe she also moved on, everybody else moves on after a certain time but even after 7 years, I am still here. Ravi asked his mirror self, with water dripping from all over his face.

So how was she? Puneet asked me.

She was good. He replied with a straight face.

Great, will send her for the HR round then. He replied and left.

 I could have given the wrong feedback, but no, this is me abhi to hume aur beizzat hona baki tha..!!! Ravi told to himself.

As predicted, she was offered the job and she accepted. Ravi’s destiny, as always, tricked him. He did run away from Bangalore to Mumbai, but here also she came and Ravi was scared now.

She was there in the office. Ravi didn’t have the courage to ask Puneet about her joining date so he took 2 weeks to work from home, he was trying to figure out how not to face her.

And then on the last day of his WFH, He thought, by now she probably knew with whom she would work and this was terrifying him. But finally, he decided to face his demons and go to the office the next day.

Hi, I am Nand. She was about to greet but she stumbled.

Hi, he avoided eye contact.

There was pin-drop silence for one minute.

Before you start accusing me of anything, I had no idea what to do, I took your interview and tried to reject you but since you are always good, I couldn’t. Ravi tried to justify by giving unnecessary explanations.

That’s okay Ravi, it’s fine, it has been long, I am all okay. She replied, after re-gathering her thoughts.

Really? You are okay working here? You are okay working with me? Rave spoke with utter shock.

Yeah, it’s fine, I have moved on..!!! She replied with a wry smile.

I thought maybe you will not be comfortable working with me. Ravi replied back.

We are professionals, so we need to behave like one. Let me know when you want to start the handover session. She replied.

Yeah sure, let’s get started. Ravi said.

Soon few weeks passed by, they used to work together, and it seemed like Ravi was way more uncomfortable with her than she was with Ravi. He only used to talk about work and nothing else. He avoided eye contact at all times. But she was doing good, she made a few friends, and she looked happy.

Are you not leaving? Ravi asked her. It was almost 10.30 pm.

No, have something urgent to complete, will leave a little late, she replied back, eyes deeply engrossed in her laptop.

It will be late Nandini, you can finish it at home. Ravi said with concern.

No, it’s fine. She replied back.

Okay, I will just be there in my cabin, let me know once you are done, we will leave then. I will also finish off a few things by then. Ravi replied back

Why do you want to stay back? Because of me? Now she said, finally raising her beautiful eyes.

I mean, it will be late for you, so that’s why. If you are not okay, then I will leave. Sorry. Ravi said making eye contact.

7 years Ravi, 7 years, and nothing has changed, you are still an escapist, still a fattu, and still the same heartless guy. I don’t need your favor, so please you may leave. She snapped.

What do you mean by all this? Ravi asked.

I mean nothing and you can go now. I insist. She replied

I won’t, sorry, I will be here, whether you like it or not. Ravi didn’t wait for her reply and started walking towards his cabin.

Now stop your drama, I would rather finish my work alone at home than watch your drama here. I am leaving. She almost screamed at his back.

Almost a month had passed, they hardly interacted or smiled while looking at each other. Both were trying to ignore and avoid each other at any cost.

I guess I like her, I mean Nandini. Nimish said while sipping his coffee

Great, ask her out then. Ravi replied while looking away.

I will, but she seems to be a little stern and strict, but that’s okay, I like those girls who are hard to get. He mocked.

Yup. Ravi gave a wry smile.

Slowly Nimish had started approaching her, flirting with her, she never responded to him but it bothered Ravi so much. He was always angry whenever he looked at him or her. The situation was slowly and slowly going out of his hands and it was making him anxious.

So, apparently, Nimish had organized one house party, and he invited a few from the office too. Ravi was also invited, which he decided not to attend, as parties used to make him sick.

A week had passed by and Nandini did not come to the office, so Ravi thought of checking out on her, but he thought with what he would start the conversation, what if she would snap again, hurt him more. Then he deliberated that it was better for him and for her if he would leave her alone.

Ravi, did you talk to Nandini lately? Puneet asked him suddenly.

No, why would I? I guess she is on leave, must have informed you. Saying this, Ravi started typing on his laptop.

Yeah, she informed me that she is not well but I think it’s something else, as it has been a week now she messaged me today that she doesn’t want to continue. Can you please talk to her? Puneet said with concern.

Ravi decided to visit her as it would be a whole lot than to fight over the phone. I will check on her Puneet. He said.

What are you doing here? This first sentence she uttered after she opened the door.

Puneet asked me to check on you, why are you not coming to the office, and why are you thinking of quitting all of a sudden. Ravi said this without doing any eye contact.

You could have messaged me, there was no need for you to come here and trouble yourself. She said, avoiding eye contact.

Okay, I am sorry. I will leave. Ravi started walking away.

Nimish proposed to me. She said

What? Congratulations. Ravi tried to be as nonchalant as possible but deep down it was hurting..

Yeah, I don’t want to come to the office, he is messaging me constantly, calling me, I don’t want to get him in trouble thus I am avoiding him and coming to the office. She replied.

Okay, do you like him? Ravi failed to control himself and asked.

Do I need to answer you? She said sternly.

No. Your life, your choice. Sorry again. Bye. Ravi quickly replied.

What is going to move you, Ravi? She asked.

For a second, Ravi did not understand what she asked but then his brain started working again.

Nothing can move me. I have had enough sufferings, but don’t want any now. He replied, looking into her eyes.

Yeah, you ruined my marriage, my relationships but when it comes to you, you flee. You are such a coward. Right..!!! She almost screamed.

No, I am not. But I don’t want to hurt you and myself anymore hence cannot. I know you are better off me. Ravi spoke with disappointment.

Stop lying to me. I am so done with you. She spoke with anger.

Ravi got an adrenaline rush and in one swift move, he grabbed her firmly and pulled her towards himself, and looked deep into her eyes. She was shell-shocked and did not know what to do. She looked up into his eyes. Time stood still for some time and he got mesmerized by her beautiful eyes. Nobody blinked. He slowly leaned forward and kissed her. And suddenly, he realized what he had just done. And then he jumped away. He quickly left the scene, feeling scared and petrified, and was sweating profusely.

After reaching home, he opened the door and felt a head rush, and sat down on the floor as if he had lost all his senses. And then suddenly, he remembered her eyes and yes, they were beautiful. And then he remembered The Kiss. What have I done? From where I got this courage today. Maybe, I have destroyed everything now. He told to himself in disbelief.

He quickly reached for the phone after pulling up his thoughts and messaged her.

I am sorry but at the same time, I don’t want to be. And yes, your eyes are as beautiful as they can be. I don’t know what I have done and what will be the repercussions for this but I am ready to live up to it.

Ravi clicked on send and then thought, Oh, What have I done again. Instead of being sorry, I praised her and am ready to suffer the consequences. Oh, God. What have I done? He messaged again.

Please avoid my previous message. I am ashamed of what I did today. I don’t know whether you will ever want to talk to me or see me ever again in your life or will ever be able to forgive me after what I did today. But please forgive me if you can. Please.

His heart was pounding inside and he felt as if he will suffer a heart attack and then his mobile beeped.

At least, you did something, you coward. Don’t be sorry but be ready to suffer the consequences now. She texted back.

Ravi read the message at least 5 times and then jumped in the air. His numbness was gone and he could feel the joy inside.

She finally said YES in her own way, Ego-wala way.