Divine Curiosity

Divine Curiosity

“Eyes on the table!” boomed the manager and just like that it was back to reality for me, Azazel. It has been six weeks now since that hell of a day, which seems quite ironic coming from me because, well, believe it or not, I am an angel. Yeah, you got it right, the one from the heaven, though don’t take me for the big fluffy white-winged harp playing angel that you are used to. Rather, we have evolved quite a lot and if you do pay us a visit, well you won't be leaving anytime soon, not that I am judging. Anyway, reality check, and we are back in this epitome of hell on earth, the blackjack casino. I have been stuck here for like three weeks now and there seems to be no end to it. Why do I have to be so curious? Why do I have to look at these disgusting creatures so closely? Why do they even exist? Wait, I shouldn’t be thinking this. These should not be my, an angel’s thoughts. Bam! Another fist on the table and again the train of thoughts was derailed before it even reached the station. I must tell you that I have this or rather developed this habit of talking in my head and it could be really annoying sometimes. “I don’t even know what to say anymore. This is my last warning to you. Either you keep your mind into it or you can keep gazing at the employment section for as long as you want.” The manager said. “I am really sorry sir and I assure you it won't happen again, sir. You can count on me, sir.” I heard myself saying apologetically. And just like that, another night ended another dreadful shift for me.

 

Sitting back in my apartment, my mind kept shifting to that day six weeks ago, remember the one hell of a day, yes, you probably do. Well here it goes, it was one of those days I had that curiosity thing going on and I was praying to the God (yes, we also pray to him) to give me something on humans to get me rid of these questions I had in my head. They were like why watch humans when they make each other enemies and then kill each other? Why give them hope when they just snatch it one another eventually? Why keep supporting those devils when we can send them to the hell? Then it stuck, I don’t know what it was but everything around me spun. Then darkness, almost as if the light had been wiped out completely from the universe. Fear gripped me and I started to pray as if it was a reflex. After few seconds of darkness, there it was, light. It was faintest of the beam, but I still went towards it and though I don’t remember much after that, but when I woke up, I saw faces, astonished, amazed and some excited. They were murmuring something and they had weird skin. Some had yellow with blue legs, some were totally black. I got up and it hit me and I realized I was naked, cold and hungry, somethings I have never felt before.

 

 A nice old lady covered me and saved me from those prying, lustful eyes. She seemed a nice woman, as she took me in her home and fed me and gave me clothes and allowed me to stay with her. Until then I learned. Learned what I am now and where I was, and these things they just came on their own. I was really settling in when I realized something. More and more men had started visiting the old lady. They looked at me differently. One look at their eyes and you just knew something's wrong. So I spy on her one night and found out she was planning on selling me. I was shocked and angry and wanted to just hit her right there and then. Then it occurred to me, the thoughts they weren't mine. This anger and rage were never part of us, angels. So I ran and ran and ended up here in this town, stuck in this apartment with this devious job. Enduring all those assholes that visit the casino daily, flirting with them and letting them flirt with me, letting myself from killing them or disfiguring their rich boy faces. There it is again. Maybe this is what being a human is. Maybe it's not the devil beneath us but the one inside us that drives us crazy and let the emotions get better of us. Maybe God can’t really help us after all, because it's us who create our own demons and it's us who can really destroy them, or, maybe he doesn’t exist after all. Maybe all this, is a dream. God, angels, casino, this shaking apartment….”wait! why is this apartment shaking….”