Discovery

I was working in a post office located in my village near a river with grass at its edges which made amorous moves when gracious breeze kissed them with gentleness. She watered most of the farms nearby. She makes sound that is as euphonious as Mozartean composition. She has its own aesthetic value. It was summer and I would often have no work and she never failed to fascinate me with its unique charm and allure. I would go there and sit for hours and that’s how I used to discover new things about myself. Only summer allowed me to think and explore myself but over the years of my tenure in the post office and truckload of work had vanished my own identity. I remember the epidemic laughter I used to have before joining the post office. I hardly smile now.

I was a gentleman with no troubles. I knew that I suffered from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which oftentimes hindered my professional life. I would repeatedly keep a check on things that didn’t matter and would frequently repeat what I knew had already been done.

I still but hazily remember how I was not able to concentrate on tasks given by my duty manager. My inability to focus later impacted my work to such an extent that I was fired from the job.

All I was left with was no more than my bank savings, a couple of books on mythology and miraculously, memory as if induced by hypermnesia. After a few days, however, my memory started to rot and crumbled to dust. I had no idea why it was happening and my mind started to show constellation of other symptoms.

I was very helpless against the blaze of my loneliness and was exposed to all sorts of deadly infections developed by OCD.

One day, I went to her to seek who I really am and find myself. I wanted her to ask me questions that I couldn’t ask to myself and examine my condition that has made me helpless. She didn’t question, didn’t even utter a word. Silence. There was only silence. I very well knew that whatever silence says remains mystery. I wanted to solve this mystery. I had become well versed with the language of silence. I could decipher each and every word silence whispered in my ear.

After an hour of time, she finally broke her silence and said, “Go, get some sleep, you haven’t slept for over a year now.”