Shashi Sarma



Shashi Sarma


Different Shades Of Rain

Different Shades Of Rain

5 mins 502 5 mins 502

Rain is one of the most beautiful moments of nature. Rains are inspirations. Rain is not just a million drops of water recycled for thousands of years. It’s a billion memories. Bitter or sweet, small or great still unforgettable.

When we were small, rainy days were the best days, jumping in puddles, playing in the mud, floating our lovely paper boats, etc. There is something comforting about listening to the live music of rain. The tiny droplet’s pitter-patter on the window turned to form a beautiful melody. The refreshing smell of soil after rain makes you crazy. The green patches of farms call you to thank God for bestowing the blessings upon us in the form of beautiful nature. But sometimes its wrath makes you sad and depressed especially when you had lost someone near and dear one.

Long time back I used to live in a beautiful valley village of Uttrakhand along with my family. The valley offers breathtaking views of flowers, towering hills, landscapes, enthralling waterfalls, magnificent lakes, bird watching, etc. Ours was a small, peaceful and less travelled village in remote areas. Everyone knew each other by name. It was surrounded by a huge forest area near a wide natural lake. I remembered that in the village small children used to play hide and seek in the forest, climbing the trees, plucking ripe peaches, singing and dancing together during the rainy season. For hours we used to bathe in the rain.

Those were the days when I loved to play every day with a boy lived in our neighborhood. We had a big group of friends but both of us had a great tuning as both of us of the same age. Even our parents never objected to our pure relationship as we were too small. During the rainy season when the sky was dark and the clouds were grey, the whispering sounds of cool breeze and tinkling sounds of raindrops came to our ears as the first pearls of rain dropped onto the leaves. This provoked us to go towards the lake when small streamlets coming from up hills used to bring water into the dry natural lake. We used to float paper boats there.

Years passed and the liking turned into love. Both of us were confused and could never realize whether it was a sheer attraction between us or a ray of love had sparked in our eyes. We could not cherish the beauty of the valley together anymore as we had grown up. Restrictions were imposed on us but nothing could stop us from meeting during the rainy season. We used to play hide and seek with our families and used to meet at our lake. No one knew about our meeting place.

One day it was raining cats and dogs. We thought of not going to the lake though it was just 4 o clock in the evening. But the dark clouds were thundering and lightning scared us. Somehow I was reluctant to go as my sixth sense was stopping me and was making me feel that I was going to lose something. But his repeated requests made me go near the lake. We sat on a high rock in the middle of the lake as the water was very less there. We shared our childhood memories, laughing and playing together in the water. We were so much engrossed in our talks that we did not realize that the water was rising in the river. I shrieked when a strong current touched my feet. It was time to run for safety. I was not a swimmer so he held my hand and pushed me quickly towards the bank of the lake. On reaching there I was able to hold a branch of a tree. I tried to pull him but the current became so strong that being a good swimmer he could not hold his balance.

Within a second he was away from me struggling the strong currents. I cried aloud as I felt that my life was slipping away from me. I could not help as he was floating away along with the current helplessly. It grew dark enough for me to return home. I hid my tears and said goodbye to him. I prayed for him to rest in peace.

I came back home and made an excuse. I wanted to be alone. I couched on my bed, held my head into the pillow and cried. The scene was like a nightmare for me. The next morning his body was found by a farmer of our village. The laughter of the village turned into mourning on his sudden death. I was quietly watching all this. No one knew as to what had happened the previous night. I hid all the moments in the coffin of my memories. I could not gather the strength to open my mouth. A few days after the cremation everything was quiet but in the deep ocean of my heart, I was fighting with myself. I used to go every day at the lake without anyone’s knowledge to pay my tribute to him not for saving my life but for the lovely time he had spent with me. Those moments give me some solace. I felt as my body is without a soul.

Days passed, years passed and I got married. I nurtured my family with great care and love. But during the rainy season, my nightmares used to get alive. I wanted to get away from this as it might affect my family life. To get away from this I started playing with my kids in small puddles like I used to do with him. It gave me some happy moments. I somehow found his reflection in my child. The same behavior and same tone of voice of him were noticed by me. One night I dreamt as if he was conveying a message to me that he was still with me in the form of my son as he wanted to be with me throughout. I got up as I was panting. I got confused about whether it was a dream or a reality. I looked at my son who was sleeping next to me. He was awake. He held my hand and said that he would be with me so I should not get scared. I felt the same last touch of him when he held my hand to save me. I hugged my son and from that very day, my nightmares vanished. I could feel the different shade of misty rain after that incident. 

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