Dedicated To My Friend

It was almost 0700 hrs on one evening. 

I had to throw away my life belongings and run out of my beloved house in frustration. 

Things were not OK. All went avry. 

Nothing was mine in the house. No belonginess. Absolutely upside down. 

My own people were not happy. They were on war foot. They all joined together to oust me out of the house indirectly. Daily routines were disturbed. Minds were corrupted. Tortures were no longer tolerated. It was the end of these moments that I had to take decisions at that moment. My small kids were unaware of my decisions. They were too small to understand. 

I packed few of my clothes in a bag and stepped out in tears, bidding good bye to my hubby. His response was cold. I fact, no response. 

I knew, i took a critical decision, but no other option at that moment. With my tiny bag, i stood on road side completely blant, what am I to do? Where to go? 

My mom came to my mind. She is a soft person at her pretty old age. Father being a patient, depending on his male children for his expenses. I had less choice to go there and burden them again. So, that thought got away. 

My office colleagues… 

No way. No one is so close to me and my family, to rely on them for personal matters. It was a risky matter to reveal anything. 

God! help me out. I am at your mercy now. I prayed whole heartedly. Tears rolled down. My journey with family was not easy. My kids were left alone when I worked in office. My dreams were not the same of those before my marriage. 

My goals were shattered. My ambitions were disrespected. My desires were crushed. My earnings were not mine. My house was not mine. Why?, my kids were not mine. They were taught to hate me. They were told to dislike me. All were against me because, it was the only reason that I had a government job and he did not have. 

Matter was building up every day. This day was my last day at home, that I stood bold. Spoke clearly to put an end to all. Just walked out. No second thought. Let the life begin afresh. Let the past be buried. Let the things start from the scratch.. 

At that moment, i remembered my old friend. She was my best buddy at needs. She knew me from my heart. She had all concerns for me. I knew her family too. She too had problems in life. But, she was lucky to have an understanding life partner. She was a kind and self respected woman, teacher in school. A great mathematician by profession. I was so relieved to remember her and thanked God to have her my friend. 

Next moment, i was at her door steps. She smilingly opened the doors for me. Took my bag inside. Never asked me questions, why I was there in the odd hours. I was trying to hide my tears. Trying to keep my voice smooth whout choking. It was my unusual behaviour. 

Greeting her family members, i got freshen up. She gave me hot coffee and told me relax, till she finished cooking for night dinner. 

Mind bligs you know, when silence prevails. Thoughts just throng to come out aloud. Too many questions and answers are built at a time, jumble up totally, not knowing which one to pick first. 

We all had, cool dinner with simple rice and sambar. Kids were busy watching TV. We exchanged some old memories while eating. Her hubby was a soft spoken and free man without any judgemental words in heart. He took things positive and accepted them as they are. She was a queen in the house. 

I knew her from many days. 

At night, we were alone. Spoke to each other openly. After narrating things to her, she looked worried. What is next move was her concern. I too was perplexed at that moment. My kids were left alone, which I could no longer bear the pain. She too was concerned.. 

At past 1100, night, we went to sleep without and conclusive decisions. 

Those days, we never had phones or mobiles. we had landlines for emergency communication. Life was simple but not easy. Money was there but no happiness. Marriages are made in heaven they say, but the he'll is here on earth itself. Awful feelings creeping in throughout night, sleep disorders, makes one sick and sad. Not a healthy sign. 

It was morning again like another day to go here.. I had to quickly decide upon myself what to do next. I cannot sit here at my friend's place for days together and burden her. She may be kind enough, but it's not correct on my part. 

At around 0900 hrs, there was a call on her land-line. To my utter surprise, it was my hubby. I had never told him, i was here. In fact, i myself never knew I will be here. How did he find out her number? May be, he found out from my friends list in my diary. 

My friend had a long conversation with my hubby over the phone. It went on and on, Justifications, allegations, complaints, consoling, caring etc, etc.. I was a mute spectator sitting there next the telephone. I heard her saying, you both have jobs, kids, home, earnings. What is bothering you and why all this complications in life. Some things are to let go in life. Some things are to be forgotten. Only necessary things to keep with you for future days. Parents must be role models for the kids not the other way, She went on and on with her teacher skills. I don't know the reactions at the other end, but could feel the heat coming down. She kept the receiver and told me, that, he is coming here to pick me up and take me back home..

I sat there dumb, trying to come to terms. A woman have no choice other than her family. If I were a man, would have simply walked off at my will. Our society rules are tough you know. One cannot abandon and stay alone at this young age. Financial powers are not enough. Moral support is essential. Life is beautiful when belongingness is there. Feelings and emotions are to be exchanged and caring each other makes the bonding more secured and strong. My friend condoled me. She had that capacity building tactics. She was correct in her words. She never wanted me to suffer. She wanted my welfare and my family and kids was her priorities. She knew, i will not tall her words. I had due respect to her. She was my friend in all ways. So caring and motherly affection, to whom I can rely upon. She knew, i am a strong person with tough life experiences of life.. 

She was my mentor on that day and today too. I owe her a lot. I dedicate this story to her. Thank you my dear friend. You are an amazing person…