Chapter 11: Curtains

This swami-saga has taken a heavy toll. The sudden developments and the truth left me very disturbed. My sympathies were with Lilawati and her children and I wished for a happy ending for them. Every event, every story has to have an ending, but this story does not seem to have one, at least for now. I am afraid that I will go to the ashram, though it will be for one last time, to see Swamiji and Pyare ji. I hate to go there, but I must. The money bag is with me and I have to return it to its owner. He would be eagerly expecting me to come and meet him.

With a heavy heart and heavier thoughts and a heavy money bag, I entered the ashram gates. Pyare ji was there, and he hurried to me to enquire.

"Rajesh ji, now you know everything. Please disclose nothing to Swamiji. Let him wait for more time to know the truth."

I nodded and proceeded to meet Swamiji.

" Aao bhai Rajesh! How was your trip? What is that? Did you bring back the bag? What happened?"

"Swamiji, I am sorry I had to bring it back, your wife gave it back to me and told me that she does it need it anymore."

"I see. Did she tell you why? Did you ask her?"

"I did Swamiji, and she said that the purpose for which she wanted the money was no more there."

"What was the purpose? Did she tell you?"

I hesitated, but I have to lie.

"She did not reveal the purpose, Swamiji."

"Did not reveal or you are not telling me? Speak the truth, Rajesh, however bitter it may be."

"Swamiji, I don't really know. Why would I not tell you if I knew?"

"Because you are trying to protect her."

"From what, Swamiji? Why would I protect her? Why would she even need my protection?"

"Rajesh, I may not be as good as people believe me to be. In fact, my wife and my children know that I have been terrible to them and others. I know I have hurt them all badly. Why do you think I keep sending her the money? To assuage my own feelings of guilt. Are you sure she or my children did not tell you anything at all about me?"

This man had seen through me and had caught me lying. I am bad at these things, but if I admitted that I know everything it would be damning for his family, Seema and Pyare ji. How do I get out of this?

"Rajesh, now I know for sure you have been told about everything. I can feel it in you, the hate and repulsion for the animal that I am."

"Swamiji, I am sorry for you. I had great respect."

"What I have done cannot be undone even in ten lifetimes. But who has fought and won against his destiny? Rajesh, now that you know me, can you tell me what my wife thinks of me, and my children? I am a coward and cannot face them. I haven't spoken in years to them because I do not have the courage.

Is it not interesting that we all believe that in our present time we live one life and that we have had many lives in the past and will have many more after we pass? So wrong. We all live many lives even in our present. Look at me. Born to a poor brahmin and brought up to become a mason. Then suddenly my life changes and I become addicted to sexual abuse, even my own daughter! I turned into a rapist from a mason. As if this was not enough for me in this lifetime, I am propelled into God's own universe and meet Mataji who somehow infused spiritual knowledge and powers in me. An illiterate brahmin boy, who became a mason and then raped his daughter suddenly comes in contact with God who has eluded many more sincere and faithful devotees than me. He makes me a Guru, Swamiji and then gives me an ashram of my own and millions of devotees to be worshipped by. As if this was not enough, he propels me into politics and I win an election and become a popular minister of the country!

Then he plunges his dagger into me and has me trapped in the scandal. I am disgraced, humiliated, imprisoned and now released on bail. What does He want me to do? Why did he take me so high into the clouds and then drop me into the pits?"

"Swamiji, what are you going to do now? What will happen to your case? Seema is still at large and even if she is caught you are still guilty of having a sexual relationship with her. The courts may free you but your faithful devotees? Will they not feel cheated by God himself?"

Swamiji smiled at me. He was flustered but composed.

"Rajesh, I don't know what I will do or what will happen to me. Do you have any idea why Seema did this to me? Someone was definitely behind her, that is clear. But who? Mrs A? Who is she and why would she want to hurt me like this?"

"What do you think of Swamiji? Who do you think was behind all this?"

"Rajesh, are you testing me? I know that you know everything, don't you? You won't admit it I know, so I will not pressure you to reveal. There could be many who bear a grudge against me but only three who have suffered the most. My family."

"When Seema is arrested, we all will know for sure. You must look forward to her capture and arrest?"

"Rajesh, what is it that I will gain from her arrest? How will I redeem myself even if I expose the conspiracy to the public? No, all this is perhaps part of His plans for me.I, for one, pray that Seema is never caught. The message through the conspiracy was only for me and I have understood it. Now I must make the best use of the opportunity given to me. How? I shall figure it out."

I left Swamiji to figure out what he would do with the rest of his present life.

EPILOGUE:

Fiction or fact, every story needs to have a proper ending otherwise we do not feel satisfied. What we don't perhaps realize is that no story ends where it seems it has to end. Like our belief in reincarnation, every story has many afterlives.

The police never caught Seema. She was, it is widely believed, spirited out of the country to some overseas destination where she is alive and well. The arrested conspirators got off with a light sentence as Swamiji and his lawyers did not follow their case vigorously enough.

Lilawati and her children are still in their village in UP but they are free now of all restrictions imposed by Swamiji. Ankita married and has a son. Ankush decided that he will remain a bachelor and look after his mother.

Pyare ji still visits their home and brings messages and money from Swamiji. I can confidentially tell my readers that Pyare ji and Swamiji had a one-to-one discussion and I believe Swamiji spoke his heart out to Pyare ji without ever knowing his involvement in the sting operation. Pyare ji remains unidentified and perhaps closer to Swamiji than ever before.

Swamiji quit politics and vowed never to return. He held a massive Satsang and told his devotees that he was guilty of deviant behaviour very unbecoming of a godman. He not only apologized publicly, but he also offered to be punished by his followers in any way they wanted him punished. I am told that there was thunderous applause after his speech and unanimity amongst the masses that Swamiji deserved a second chance. Well, even Clinton was forgiven for his misdemeanour not only by the people but also his wife. Who said that human beings are mere mortals. Remember, to forgive is divine and we not only believe this but practice it.

The ashram is still bustling with activity and Swamiji's popularity seems to have only grown! He now owns a spiritual channel where he is present for almost 24 hours. He has also begun manufacturing a diverse range of products from toothpaste to TV. The market opinion is that his products are reasonably priced and of good quality. Sita brings only the Swami brand. The roti she makes, the dal she cooks, the milk that we buy and the other groceries are all Swami brands. Swamiji even makes shampoos and soaps!

For me, I am happy with the story I have written. I have a contract with Swami publishers who will not only release the book but will also market it. I have Swamiji's personal blessings to publish the book. Imagine what the sales will be like. Are you wondering how this came to be? Well, time flies and over ten years have passed since the scandal. Everyone has forgotten about it. And as any good author would do I have ensured that no one will ever trace this story to the real man and his family. Every single detail in this story is fiction. I have deliberately obscured the timelines to make it look like a recent event. I do not understand what makes people good and bad. I do not understand Swamiji at all. I do not understand human beings.