Blind Fire

CHAPTER 1

Sitting on the corner bench in the café, I text him.
‘We need to talk. Come to café near our college even if you are busy’
‘Will be there in five minutes. Am never busy when it comes to talking with you’ he replied within
few seconds. This is the worst part. He is always available for me. He has never left me when I need a
shoulder and has never stopped holding me even when am strong. He is one such gem. Yes, I am gonna
miss him. His availability, his care and what not. This is our last meet-up. I know, things are going to
get tough because we both are in same college and it would be damn awkward for us to stay in same
campus and try ignoring each other when deep inside we need to talk like before with each other.
Name calling is going to be the second worst thing. Everyone in our college know that we are dating
for nearly a year and I know, he is coming here to ask us get serious about each other and am sitting
here and waiting for him to meet him for one last time.
‘Arey, all the best Tell him that you are serious about him, atleast now’ came a text popping up,
interrupting my chain of thoughts. A text from Vasi, my best friend. A drop of tear tried peeping out
from my left eye and I looked up, gobbled up a spit and suppressed my tear. He was the one who
introduced me to Aari when he found that I have a huge crush on him.
‘haha’ I dryly replied. I know, this won’t last and would end up giving scars for both.
‘still you gonna hide your feelings? Are you mad? Listen, you guys are great together, Jey, you guys
are freaking cute couple that our college has ever seen. Am not compelling you but trust me, you
guys love each other so much and if you are getting married to each other, then seriously that is the
best thing….’ I wanted to reply that we could never get married or to be precise that I’ll never get
married and that is the problem. ‘I’ll call you, wait’ he sent and before I could reply, my mobile
vibrated with his name flashing gloriously on my screen. If he is going to speak to me now, I’ll blurt
out all the truth so I declined the call.
‘Text me. don’t call’ I sent him a default message
‘Okay…’

‘Say’
‘Okay…see… you guys started dating from last valentine’s day and am sure that you both are in love
and the only thing left is… confessing.. I don’t know what is stopping you from that…’
‘Hey!’ came a voice from behind. I slowly craned my head, locking my mobile.
‘Hey! Pragya!’ I flashed a genuine smile. She is Aari’s best friend.
‘Where is your jaan?’ she winked. Something pricked my heart that from tomorrow such statements
be used against me to mock and guffaw me and what pained more is, Aari won’t be near me to stop
people teasing me or hug me gently and say, love you. Hiding all the pain behind my smile, I
answered her,
‘He will come soon’
‘Happy valentine’s day’ she hugged me
‘Thank you. Wish you the same’ I hugged her back.
‘Planning to make it official?’ she asked, breaking the hug. And I looked away, with a fake smile.
‘Aha! See that blush!’ she pinched my cheeks and I chuckled.
‘Why can’t you leave her alone? Let her practice her proposal’ Rahul, her boyfriend wrapped his
hand around her from behind making her blush involuntarily and it was cute that she was trying hard
to cover her blush and he saw it, flashing a smile, making her blush more, reminding me of the times
when Aari used to lift me all of a sudden and say that he loves me, giving a peck on my cheek.
Blushing for a second, I realised that hereafter I won’t be getting such moments in my life with him,
again.
‘So true’ she chuckled and gave me one last hug and moved with her guy. I know, this is our last hug.
For, who will hug the one who ditched their best-friend?
‘There?’ came a text from Vasi, reminding me that I got to reply him. Not even caring to see his texts,
I turned off the data connection and turned off my mobile. Then I realized that if Aari is going to call
me then I want his call to be in my call log that this is the last call he made.
Lifting my head from my mobile screen I saw our college’s famous couple, flashing their best smile at
each other with their hands holding each other’s hands so tightly and their eyes locked on each
other’s eyes, forgetting the surroundings as usual. Couples who gets lost in their partner’s eyes,
forgetting their surroundings is damn adorable.
‘Where is Aari? You are sitting alone?’ The waiter gently places a glass of water in front of me.
‘Behind you!’ I said to him, and started to blush the moment Aari’s eyes locked with mine. I looked
away the moment I realized that I no longer have any rights on him and should stop falling for him.
he looked stunning today. Maybe that’s because am admiring as much I can today. The 6-feet tall
handsome, caring guy gently pulled the chair, still looking deep into my eyes, grooving into my soul
and I had to keep looking away, breaking the eye contact as much as possible.

Filled with awkwardness, I keep meddling up with the glass tumbler with my eyes fixed on the water
and my mind fixed on our break up and my eyes ready to explode with tears and my chin gently
vibrating as I kept pressurising myself to suppress my tears. His left hand gently held my right hand
and I looked away and he gently tucked the hair behind my right ear.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, breaking a big block of ice of awkwardness and I gently tried pulling my
hand and he held it tighter.
‘Are you happy in our relationship?’ I asked, still with my head hung down
‘No!’ he said giving me a reason to point out for our break-up. before I could open my mouth, he
continued, ‘Am extremely happy in and about our relationship. I won’t ask you the same question
because I know you are happy’ little does he know that this is the problem. When am too happy or
too comfortable in a relationship, I get ditched for one reason… I don’t want to hear the same
reason and ditched. This isn’t the first time… I have already been ditched thrice that is why I was
afraid to fall in love. Falling in love kills when you know you are going to fall apart.
He slowly puts his hand in his jeans' pocket. I know what he is up to. He is gonna pull out a ring and I
am going to reject that straight on his face and this is going to be damn embarrassing. But I am sure
if am going to embarrass him, and then I could use that as a means to break-up.
‘Wipe your forehead’ he said, pulling out the white handkerchief that I gifted him long ago.
‘You still have this?’ I asked, gently wiping my forehead and still fighting back my tears.
‘I have never lost anything… including the feeling I got when I first saw you…’ he said in a single
breath, looking into my eyes, making my tears flow and making me lose the battle of fighting back
the tears. He raises his right thumb and gently wipes my tears.
‘Shona, what’s wrong?’ he slowly asked as usual, not losing his temper and not sulking for spoiling
his valentine’s day like this.
‘Do you like me?’
‘I can’t find even a single reason to hate you…’ he holds my face in his palms and I gently pull away
my face. He gently jams my hands between his palms. ‘Jey, I wanted to say you this the very first day
I saw you…’ he gently taps my chin, ‘Look into my eyes’ and I shook my head. He would think that am
ignoring him but seriously I don’t want any more feelings for him then I won’t be able to break up
with him.
‘Listen… this won’t work out… I know you came here to take our dating to a serious relationship but
you can never ever marry me… let us break up…’ blurting out in a full single breath, I cover my face
with my hands and my body vibrates as I kept trying not to scream.
‘If I can’t marry you then you marry me’ I heard his voice so calm.
‘Gone mad?’ I nearly screamed looking at his calm face and reaction
‘You are mad. You are the one who wants break-up when you love me so much’

‘This won’t work out, Aari’
‘Nothing would work on its own. We got to make it work, Jey’ he gently holds my hands. He will
leave my hand once he knows about me and the reason behind my break-up. one last time, relishing
his warmth on my hand, I cook up a story on my mind so that even after break-up too he won’t hate
me. For, I can try living without his love but I definitely can’t live with his hate. ‘I know you will cook
up stories now. Am not ready to buy it. Tell me what is bothering you, deep inside.’ if he is going to
leave me only if am going to say the truth then am ready to do that. For, I’ve been ditched earlier by
others for the same reason and this isn’t new for me. I took a deep breath and everything flashes in
front of my eyes. Those things which I want to forget but keeps haunting me. As my pain flashed in
my eyes as the images of the nightmare am living under, I finally open my mouth to say him the
blood truth.

CHAPTER 2

Shivering between the hold of my mom, I slowly open my eyes. It has been two long days that we
came and took shelter in a bus-stop of this unknown place. I slowly try moving my mom’s hand but
her determination not to leave me was clearly explained as I saw her fingers tightly inter-locked
across my tummy.
‘Heavens!’ I whispered after a chain of sneezes. Every time my mom panics and gets up at the very
first sneeze but this time, her body didn’t even move an iota.
‘Momma…’ I rock her body. No response. My worst fear of losing my mom forever surfaced. With
tears choking, I call her again and again. Helplessly, I started squealing till I felt as if something was
tearing my lungs and wind pipe. ‘Momma… please..please get up’ I didn’t know how to frame
sentences and put my fears into words. I wanted to say am afraid because I don’t have anyone else. I
wanted to say, am afraid because I love her so much and am afraid to lose her. I don’t know, I want
her to get up and scold me at-least. With fear tearing my heart and killing my brain, I squeal again,
calling and waking her up. at one point, her inter-locked finger separated and her body tossed
lifelessly and couldn’t see her breath. Seeing a lady looking at us, I cry looking at her, ‘Momma….’
And open my arms to her. With tears filled in her eyes, she came running towards me. I didn’t know
how to ask help from her. I didn’t know how to ask her to ask my mom to get up. Picking me up, she
spoke,
‘who are you, dear? Why are you here?’ as she asked, I started crying more as I need my mom back
and I don’t even know where am from. ‘Where is your mom?’ she asked, and I pointed at my mom.
‘Where is your dad?’ she asked and I hugged her by neck not knowing how to say he left us here for
reasons unknown to me and he nearly killed me. Seeing me cry looking at my mom, she finally bent a
bit down and held my mom’s hands and looked up and her watch. ‘Don’t worry, dear. Your mom is
fine’ she tapped my back and I wanted to ask her then why mom isn’t waking up. After a ritual of
visiting a police station and giving all the details about us, finally the good policemen admitted mom
in hospital and got a loaf of bread for me to eat. I don’t know who that lady was but she never let me
down from her waist and kept my tummy full always. She kept speaking with me which my ears
failed to get and my brain refused to decode.

‘Momma’ I say to her, pointing at the door which had bold letters above it, “ICU”. She carefully lifts me
up and places me on her lap.
‘Your mom is taking rest and you are a small baby and you can’t see it, okay?’ she asked, giving me
another piece of bread. I shook my head but she mistook it for an okay and I sat on her lap
helplessly.
‘Doctor!’ the nurse screams, holding my wrist and it was nothing less than a robotic voice to my
ears.
‘Jey! Get up’ that aunty keeps tapping my cheek. With so many struggles I try opening my eyes but
everything went in vain. The more I try opening my eyes, the more my head hurts. The more I try
unlocking my inter-locked fingers, the more it shivered. I try moving my legs but It seemed to be
frozen. That aunty’s sari gave me warmth. Someone slowly carried me but I couldn’t cry, my throat is
parched. They slowly lay me on bed and I pull my legs closer to my chest and toss and turn to one
side. Someone holds my hand and pierces something. It didn’t pain, it was soothing. Someone places
a metal piece on my chest and tosses me and keeps it on my back and then holds my wrist.
‘Blood test’ a hoarse male voice filled the room followed by a lenient little voice which said, ‘Yes,
doctor’ and I heard foot-steps fading away and I felt that aunty’s hold on my hand.
After an hour or so, I heard the foot-steps coming back.
‘What happened, doctor? Is Jey fine?’ I heard the aunty’s voice filled with concern.
‘Typhoid. Don’t worry. She will be okay. You got to get these tablets and injection’ the male voice
rushed.
‘I’ll get it within few minutes. How is her mother?’
‘She is recovering. She will be okay. Nothing to worry’
‘Thank god!’ she said, sighing.

TO BE CONTINUED...