Better Family- Joint/Nuclear

Good morning dadaji, good morning dadi, good morning Tauji, good morning Taiji, good morning chacha. Good morning Chachi, good morning Papa and mummy.... Normal chants in joint family...

All festivals are celebrated together. Family becomes small society or group itself. How pleasant it looks when functions or events are happening. You feel complete and don't really need external sources for happiness, suggestions, support etc...

Those who have passed through these times will relate to this. We feel self sufficient within the group.

Then when we grow slightly young, in our teena...and get to hear those murmurs of our parents...

If your father is eldest son. Your Mother to your father at night" main hi Marti rahoon saare kaam mein, wo ( your Chachi) to kuch Karti hi nahi...."

Your father" tum badi ho, karna padega....aur ab so jao....subah train se official tour par Jaana hai ...bauji Ko Davai de di...maa ne Davai le li.....etc etc etc"..those authoritatively caring instructions...

Mother..." So jao tum bhi ab bas ..main to naukrani hoon"...

 If your father is younger of the lot then, your mother says" suniye, aaj bhabhi ji ne mujhe zaraa si galti pe daant diya...galti meri nahi thi.....aur ghar mein bhaisaab to kuch karte nahi hai ....AAP hi saara ka karte hain....babuji bhi unki hi sunte hai...AAP bhi to is ghar ke ek member hai...Barabar ke"

Your father" faltu baat mat karo....kal bhabhi se maafi Maang Lena aur kaam par lag Jaana......aur subah jaldi utha Dena, bhaiya Ko train par chodne jaanaa hai"

Mother"...bhugto mujhe kya...meri bhi Taqdeer kharaab hai.."

In both cases you think, it's not worth staying jointly. We are unlucky and ruthlessly treated...Our family has suffered the most. Poor my parents, rougered by the whole family..I will not grind myself...My wife will not sacrifice..afterall she is my better half, not servant..My children will have better future...

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All these thoughts prepare grounds for your nuclear, otherwise percieved to be happy family.

But then comes the real test.

You are traveling for work and your so called better half, and children get to stay alone....and you keep fearing of their loneliness...

Your wife is not well, but you can't stay at home due to work...who to handover kids and your better half...

Your wife is expecting, you can't stay with her due to work, now either call her own mother or sister...or worst come, leave her at the in-laws....

Every penny spent is visible....but still many necessities being compromised...

Favours being asked outside family, who in turn either ruin relationship or your character...

Then you start realising that these challenges were never part of your childhood or teenage till your were in joint family...

But now you have come too far to go back and reunite...

Nuclear family is yes, in some cases, a helplessness....more so, where your origin or base is small town or village, where career opportunity is scarce and parents are not ready to leave their roots.......BUT in most cases, it's a choice, where modern beliefs such as, "woman empowerment, equality to all, children need their own space etc etc etc" are in the blood...

But India or indianness is in traditional beliefs which need to be reinforced with current and future generations...

Get up youth and secure your future.. Family members are assets...not liabilities...

Movie to watch- "APNE" starring Dharmendra, sunny deal, bobby deal......."SANSAAR" starring Anupam Kher, Rekha....."EK RISHTAA" starring Amitabh Bachchan, Akshay Kumar

Quote - Unity is strength

Sher- " Ek arse se mujhe kahin Nazar nahi aaya, bachche jabse kamane Lage, ghar nahi aaya,

Meri halat dekh kar wo Parinda khush hai, Jo sochta hai ki achcha hai, mere Bachchon ke par nahi aaye"