Belongingness

“But dad! All my friends are here, what am I gonna do there all alone? “, whined Priya.

“Stop being a baby, you’ll make new friends there”, reasoned Priya's dad.

“but da-ad!!”, she whined again.

“oh come on Priya! Stop whining! You have to understand. This is a big break for me. You’ll enjoy it there, I promise. moreover, you’ll get superior education! So come on now, pack your bags!”, her father said.

Priya was a 15-year-old girl. And like any teenager, she too was full of nerves. Though she was fairly well-behaved and polite with everyone, she could be really stubborn when she wanted to. Today, the reason for her behaving this way was that her father had been transferred to the US. She was happy for him but didn’t want to accompany him there as then she’d have to leave all her friends and go to an unknown country. But the emotional blackmail of her father got the better of her.

After 2 days, she found herself in her new well-furnished apartment. However, she was tired from the long flight and immediately went to sleep.

The next day she found herself in a crowd of white children. All rushing towards their lockers whereas Priya didn’t know what to do with herself. She just stood there, in the middle of the corridor, being pushed around as the students made their way.

 When the corridors became empty, she put up the courage and asked the janitor about the whereabouts of her class.

When she reached, she faced a mass of audience, all staring at her as if she’d committed a murder. She tried to smile with confidence as the teacher introduced her to the class but she didn’t receive any in return. She was feeling inferior amongst all as even her most modern clothes didn’t fit in with her new classmates. Everything there was different, the chapters, the clothes, everything.

 

Then came the maths period, this was the only subject which was the same everywhere. She was a bit relieved as this was the first thing in her whole day she was acquainted with.

During lunch, as she walked towards the canteen, she could hear some girls sniggering at her clothes. “don’t lose it over them Priya, it’s just the first day”, she consoled herself.

She didn’t make any friends that day…

The next day she tried to dress nicely so as to fit in. she let her hair loose and wore a skirt with a blouse and a scarf as an accessory. She also applied a bit of makeup to bring out her eyes.

But nothing quite changed. This went on for a week, after which she was sure that no matter what she did, she just didn’t belong.

The girls in her class always found something or the other to make fun of about her. Sometimes it was her clothes, sometimes her hair, sometimes the make-up, and sometimes her accent.

She transformed herself to fit in. she got her eyebrows done, her legs waxed, her face bleached and her upper lips threaded. This was a big step for her as taking such steps so soon in India was not recommended at her age, but she did all this just for the sake of fitting in. 

No matter what she did, she just didn’t feel like she belonged. She was so troubled from inside that she started crying herself to sleep. 

“What is my fault? What more should I do? What do I do if I am Indian?”, she cried at her reflection in the washroom.

She had started sinking in depression. Her mother was starting to get worried but no matter how many times she asked, Priya won’t tell her anything.

The next day, when she reached school she got her maths test paperback, she had scored full marks. This was the only thing she was confident about. Something which didn’t judge her on the basis of her color or nationality.

“Priya!”, said her maths professor.

“y-yes sir? “, she replied.

“I need you to meet me after class today”, he said.

“s-sure sir”, she said.

She grew worried as she didn’t know the reason why the professor wanted to meet her. She kept wracking her brain trying to fathom what she must have done wrong but couldn’t think of anything.

After class when she went to meet her professor, she saw another boy from her class with him.

“May I come in sir?”, she asked before entering.

“ Oh yes, Priya! Do come in. I’ve been waiting for you”, replied the professor.

“S-sorry sir”, she said.

“sorry? But why dear?” the professor asked.

“to keep you waiting for sir”, she replied.

Her confidence had become so weak that she had started doubting herself and apologizing even for the smallest reasons.

“oh don’t be ridiculous Priya! Come here now”, the professor said.

“ you know this guy Travis, from your class? He’s been facing some problems with this chapter”, he said while showing Travis’s paper which was covered with red marks all over.

“ I want you to give him tuitions after school as you are a really bright student”, he said.

“m-me sir?”. Priya asked.

“yes, you. Is there a problem? “, the professor asked.

“no sir”, she replied softly.

She gave him tuitions for a week. At first, Travis was rude to her and didn’t take her seriously. But one day, she got irritated and told him off.

“Look, if you don’t want to study then just say so. I’m not compelled to teach you. I do have other things to do, you know.”- she said.

“umm…I’m sorry”, he said.

“I beg your pardon?”, she said.

“I’m sorry, and thank you for doing this for me, I was being a jerk. You see, you are so good at studies, and so are many people, I just don’t think I belong, you know”, he said.

She knew exactly what he meant, she felt so too but in different fields. 

That day she understood that everybody, at some point or the other, felt like they didn’t belong. She promised to herself that day that she will try and give such a person a sense of belonging whenever she could. But she didn’t say anything about her feelings to Travis, she just continued helping him.

After that, he started taking her seriously and gave her a smile before leaving every day.

This was a start to a friendship. And whenever she was made fun of, Travis shut his friends up. 

After a week, another maths test was held, and this time Travis scored good marks. He had really improved his score.

“well-done Travis!” said the professor while handing his paper to him.

As Travis returned to his seat, he gave a little nod to Priya as a way of thanking her and she replied with a smile.

Soon, Travis introduced her to all his friends and soon she made new friends and her problems faded. 

She finally felt like she belonged…

She understood how important the sense of belonging was.

In India, she never thought about it as she was always the center of attention, she was the one who made other’s lives hell by sniggering behind their backs.

She regretted those moments of her life now.

She realized that a sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is most important in seeing the value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions. Some find belonging in a church, some with friends, and some with family.

She realized how fitting in was so much important to her for the past few days.

How lonely she’d felt without anyone to speak within this unfamiliar country.

She understood now. She became a better person from then on. She wasn’t selfish anymore and even when sometimes she felt like she didn’t belong, she didn’t lose hope like before. she knew that it may take time, but things will get better! Because every story has a happy ending, and if it’s not happy, then it's not the end ;)