The essence of being able to love is that … that is a difficult question, isn't it?
There are so many things that people say about love. Many definitions, many interpretations exist. But what does love mean to you?
When I think of love I am often taken to this beautiful song called 'Humming', by Enya. There is a sense of eternity to the lyrics which keeps me bound to it, not to say it has a beautiful composition too! I love the whole song, yet, I am sharing the lines that most captivate me...
And all the light will be, will be
And all the future prophecy
And all the waves, the sea, the sea
And on the road are you and me
And all the stars without a name
And all the skies that look the same
And all the clouds that fade and then
Then all of this begins again
And all the light will be, will be
And all the waves, the sea
And all the waves, the sea, the sea
When all the light will be....
I feel love is the ability of slow resurgence of the very sense of your own existence. If in loving someone you can find a better version of yourself, again, and again, then you are truly in love. You must feel blessed that you have found the kind of love that fosters your growth and nourishes your soul.
Love is being you, no matter what!
The truth about love is that irrespective of what we do or don't, it exists. It is our being if we can identify it.
As human beings capable of great understanding and experiencing different challenges we often don't recognize our loving abilities or sometimes lose it to the everyday decisions that we make. If we were to dissect our thoughts we would understand how. And this isn't to imply that we should not think of ourselves or understand our own needs while loving someone else. It only means that in loving others you are in fact loving yourself.
Only if that love is coming from a place of genuine empathy and a subtle sense of giving that does not overwhelm the one you love. That is beautiful. Isn't it?
There are people I have met in my life who brought me back home! Well, not literally. But, in a time when I was running from my home which is nothing but my soul, a pure, conscious, loving, affectionate core, I have been gifted so many chances to reflect on myself. People intentionally or unintentionally opened me up to newer and broader perspectives of 'being' which I have incorporated in myself. It gave me a whiff of the beauty of life...
The beauty that a traveler would experience on his journey to the countryside on a spring morning, breathing through the pleasant air, absorbing the mixed fragrances of the flowers as he moves to observe the smiling bulbs through the brightly lit sunflower fields.
Isn't it surprising that despite the beauty that travel has to offer many times we would consider it only to be a luxury or vacation which should be done only when you are exhausted or you have a lot of money? I think the second aspect definitely needs consideration.
I feel it is important to make travel a part of your life and open yourself to a plethora of experiences, smells of food and feel of trees and flowers and the different people and their cultures. Travel can help you understand that while being an observer you can still imbibe the lives of many people whom you meet, their difficulties, their challenges, their luxuries, and their happiness alike! It can indeed open up aspects of you that you weren't aware of. Love is also like that.
And just like travel, in our busy lives and priorities that are always lined up, we often put love on the back burner not realizing it is actually the fuel to our very existence.
When you deeply love someone, it opens up parts of you that are in darkness or ignorance or in need of growth because it is one feeling that is not really bound by anything. Absolutely. There cannot be any rule for loving or not loving someone.
There can be choices and preferences. But there certainly cannot be rules.
And that is why the act of loving someone sets you free.
Of your own bondages, and, of others too...
Love is the universal thread that fosters most of our bonds in a small or big way depending on the kind of associations we have established with people. And when we are not able to deal with the imbalance, we come to the conclusion that love does not exist anymore. That is not the case. Love is not some naphthalene ball that will vaporize into the air. It always stays. It's within you. And you only need to tap into your own essence to be able to experience it.
The reason why most people go through a rough phase in their relationships, and by that, I mean any relationship is that they give up or damage their own ability to love which prevents them from bouncing back to life. So next time when you love someone and are not being loved back and are down with a question as to why ...., just know that you always have a choice.
To give that love or to hold it back and how much of it you want to.
There are times we are constantly giving and do not receive anything in return or we are constantly receiving and never give and then sometimes there is a balance.
But... there is a scale of these things. An invisible one which quite often we do not realize in the flow of being in love. I believe that is one of the causes of an imbalance in relationships or heartbreaks or differences between friends and family.
I also feel it is important to be completely aware of yourself when you are in love and treat the whole process of knowing the other person as a means of integration of your logic and your emotions. Be present to the subtle changes that love brings to your life. That is the joy we all are actually looking out for.
It is true that as people living together in some of the other relationships with someone, you are invested in them monetarily in some way or the other. But if you reflect carefully, you need money for really few things in life and very rarely is the need dire. If you are fairly organized in your finances, you may not even discuss money on a regular basis in your family or with your friends unless it is a healthy sharing about some investment scheme or so. The point I am getting at is money is a means, not the end. By all means, earn a lot of money, but not because you want to earn money. To just give an analogy, all the money could have to be burnt someday if you are stuck in some shitty arctic region with no help to return back soon just to keep you warm. And that time the money is going to be nothing more than paper which could as well have been an old newspaper so to say.
These days luxury vacations and exotic destinations are what couples or families crave. Nothing wrong in that. But I find it funny and paradoxical that just before or after or even during the planning or execution of the trip people are arguing over crazy things and there is no peace.
The vacation could well turn out to be a mere collection of photographs and the few memories of the new food that you have tasted and the weather you experienced.
That is definitely important and I do not mean to generalize that vacations are bad or something. I am only calling for a greater reflection of sorts as to why a long walk on a beach with a person you really love can sometimes give you more pleasure than an exotic vacation with people you don't really resonate with. It's really about who you are with.
So, build the most important resource in your life. People.
As much as it is important to make these internal changes to lead a happier life, it is also important to move away from those people who do not get the best out of you. It is as important as giving up sugar for a diabetic, just that we do not give it so much importance and continue to entertain emotional drainers in our life which could be friends, family, or relatives. So, stop buying the tags and focus on the stuff inside, whether it is about things or people. That is where true happiness lies.