Another Day at School

"Like eating the flesh of a sour mango from its peel after you've thrown away the seed. It's bitter, tangy, and a little blackish-green in some places. But you soon forget the taste. The taste is always secondary; it's the act of eating a mango with fresh juice dripping from your arms and chin - that's the real pleasure. On a humid, smothering day under the shade of a roof or a tree; you just want to make time defunct and immerse yourself without damned care in the world."

"What the….?" said he.

"That's love. Some folks say it's like putting your hand in the septic tank and fishing around for a diamond when all you end up with is bits of brittle, pulverized coal. Coal that is damaged beyond repair, and you hope to use it in building a huge fire. But it doesn't burn. Then you understand, there are no diamonds, there's no coal, just a fucking gas called carbon monoxide and that it will kill you slowly."

"So, do we play? Racquet or hoops?" said he.

"The former," said I.

"Stop talking to yourself. You sound weird as hell."

"Well, maybe if you shut up and listened to me you'd understand."

"It's a vicious cycle. What happened, happened" said he.

"Why can't I just fall for a normal girl?" said I.

"You mean a straight one?"

"Yeah [Sigh]. At least, one who doesn't look like a Thomas Pynchon essay or a 'Finnegans Wake' character."

"Ah, then I suggest you construct a time machine and go back to early 19th century England. It was called the 'Romantic period' for a reason."

"I'm 17, eighteen years too early to lie and blame it on my 'pride'."

"Don't rip off Gatsby, old sport."

We were sitting on the red metallic pipes in front of the school building. It was 2 in the afternoon. No idiots fooling around or holding hands 'gazing' into each other's eyes. Just the thought made me feel queasy. Teenagers who thought they were happy and safe. Like nothing in the world could hurt them. It hurt me to think infatuated virgins and abused, traumatized people in despair could reside in the same building for such a long time. Maybe a mask of the perfect child could be beaten into anyone going to a private school. I was dry done there. For a long time, I couldn't masturbate.

"So, do we play?" said he.

"Stop the recursion."

"Man, get over it. There is at least one wonderful woman out there waiting for you. I get that life fucked you over double-time. But look, you're still kicking. So, lay off the cynicism and start a-rolling."

"I feel empty inside. Like a gaping hole. A living Pandora's box, that's me."

"Okay. Sit and shit. I'm going home."

"Yeah, fuck you."

He halted in his tracks and gripped my collar.

"You took away my first girlfriend. She leaves you when she discovers 'they' are transgender. So, you ended up confessing to your childhood crush and discovered she was a lesbian. And when she doesn't need you anymore, you feel empty inside. What kind of a fucking asshole babysitter do you think I am?"

He punched my face with a punishing left-right combination and finished with a left-uppercut. My lip gets cut badly. Unable to control my temper, I lash out at him. He kicks my abdomen with a front kick and hits below my ear with a roundhouse. The fight was over. I fell with a thud on my ass and searched for a pack of Navy-Cuts. I smoked for a bit and crushed the cigarette under my shoe. I popped a chewing gum and listened to the ringing of the bell.

School was over.