An Ideal Woman

Today has been beautiful throughout.

A good weather, good food with close people around, sounds great.

Yeah, I tried to convince myself that I must be happy. But I don't know why amidst all these happiness I could feel a hollowness creeping out from within me.

I always wished to become an ideal woman. By seeing my mother, my grandmother who are some of the most gorgeous and brilliant women around, I knew it was going to be tough. But little did I knew.......

Life is a journey, and rather a challenging one. Even before you get in control of a challenge, life throws a new one to your way.

The case was no different for me.....

At times I felt like crying out loud, sharing my grief, expressing my emotions, confiding my feelings to the dearest. But some unforeseen barriers held me back.

Yes absolutely, the fear of getting judged. People you thought were different starts to judge you for your rationality.

But not always I want to be judged for whatever I do...

I know it's tough to pretend to be tough when I am sulking from my core. But I had to, for I always wanted to be an ideal woman!!

I understood the world would enjoy laughing at my obnoxious emotions.

So I decided to keep firm and put on a happy face for whatever it takes.

I realised, There is no safe place to hide than within your self. Because I knew, there I wouldn't be judged anymore.

It's heartbreaking that I have become so insecure with my belongings, that the particulars whom I supposed were mine started parting ways covertly.

Nothing in this world is mine, Nothing actually is nobody's, nor love nor hatred....

I have learnt to escape from this world with my thoughts my insecurities and my regrets.

I have learnt to be a puppet in this judgemental world..

I have adapted myself with what needs to be expressed and what needs to be suppressed.

Actually I have learnt to be an ideal woman.

It's a wonderful day, a happy day, and I have learnt to be a pleasant woman.