A take on Relationships!!

Every relationship has its good and bad times....ups and downs.....liking and disliking..Does that mean we need new relationships?

As a toddler I was so ok with the idea that my family consists of my parents and siblings. Then my family circle grew as I grew further and then started knowing my relatives. Slowly I made friends across different stages of life. My relative circle also grew to some extend with new family members getting added.

Basically this happens with everyone in the world, you add on new relations in your life.

All these while the expansion seems quite thrilling as you are loved(more or less) by everyone. You have your ups and downs, happy or fighting moments within that circle.

Then comes a stage in life when people talks about your marriage. While I do believe in this form of social institution, but somehow feels marriage is not a mandatory need for one's survival. It has more moral obligations that may not go well with a lot of us. If someone is already comfortable with the existing relationships in his/her life and don't want to add on new ones, then that should be considered perfectly fine. But not everyone thinks like me. People have their own theories which is perfectly fine.

Few gets married due to own wish , few due to some pressure and few remains away from it with some reason.

Now comes the change in relationship. You get a new relation named "spouse", a husband or a wife. Relationships changes over night. Some new are formed. Mothers turn Mother-in-laws. Fathers turn Father-in-laws. Brothers turn Brother-in-laws. Sisters turn Sister-in-laws.....and so on. There is a fast addition in your relationships, quite doubling in a day. And it does take time for someone to adapt, to understand these new ones. All those relationships that you have understood and adapted in a course of 20 years may be (before marriage), now has to be adapted within a window of 1-2 weeks. In most of the cases your parent side relationships became sweet and the inlaws side turn sour. The conflicts you ever used to have with your parents or relatives (from parents' side) before marriage will fade away slowly as you are now moved to a new family.

Going by Netwon's law of conservation of energy that states "energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another. " So the total energy remains constant, it just moves from one form to other. Translating this in terms of relationships, your agreements/disagreement "or" love/hate keeps shifting from existing to the new family or the vice-versa.

So the crux of the matter, in your life you will have agreements and disagreements, ups and down through out the life. As the energy remains constant, it may get moved from one relation to other.

But then that is the case for people who have married and now have new relationships to channelize their feelings. What happens to those who had chosen to stay away from marriage? Where will their energy will be routed now? The answer is within the existing relationships of families and friends....

As you turn older you will also have more disagreements with people in your life. Within your family you may get constantly grilled for not getting married. Few families accept that and most of them doesn't. Your relationship with them turns unpleasant slowly. So is it natural? You had choosen to stay with them the whole life and not to add on new ones. But now these existing ones are getting bitter.

 Does that mean, just to keep one relation pleasant always, we need to create new ones to route the unpleasant energy?

Does that mean, marriages are required also for this enery diversion?

Does that mean you will never have peace in your life and always need new relationships to find that?

Or

Can we find our peace within ourselves?

You start your life with some relationships and end with some. Not everybody and every relationship will accompany you through out your life. Some may leave mid way and few may join. Some with leave on a happy note and some with a bitter note. 

While all these can have further arguments and discussions, As rightly said by someone.....

"Make yourself your priority. As the end of the day you are your longest commitment...."