A Pardoned Love

                                    Preface 

This story is dedicated to my soul who never let me die and keep me alive for love

 

 Main characters

  Isha sharma,Harshit tiwari,nilesh singh,
Meena sharma( isha's mother), shivraj sharma  (isha's father)

A merry start

   I was in standard fifth when i met him first time in the class (when i felt that the other division boys are not good or maybe useless) his waterbottle made me feel annoying in front of the whole chirping straight line of the class,as my so called skirt uniform became wet because of his dedicated mischief.
       Till that time i never knew that he will be like a dozen of life changing seminars by Sandeep Maheshwari in my life..Harshit Tiwari.
        He was quite mischivous and was not interested in having friendship with the whole flock of sheep of class who all began to peep into mine and his meaningless hilarous chats which we used to do everywhere. I meant to say each single moment we got together.
         Years passed by and our friendship grewed in a wonderful manner. He said one day when we were in tenth grade," Isha would you understand what i am going to say about my feelings  for next couple of minutes?"
I totally in state of confusion trying to abide his talks as always,replied, "Ummm... ok. But only if you promise me a scoop of buterscotch icecream tommorow!"
He started looking at my eyes with extreme generousity that i never ever felt before and had a reflection of calmness in his posture
He said, " isha, mai tere bina jee nhi sakta..bhot pyar karta hu tujhse, aur tabhise karta hu jabse tu mujhe phehli bar mili thi classmei.."
"Are you understanding what I am trying to say?" and started laughing as hell and was unable to compose myself and i truly say that i never ever tried to do the same but still.
He started asking me, "what happened why you are laughing?"

         Instead of replying to his curiousity i continued to laugh for sometime then i kept a mum for a while and answered, "see you know na what my homemade scene is, mom and dad are not together loving each other even if they had a long time to understand and feel each other before they got married and now too after 20 years of their most regretted, abusive event of life that's there.

A bitter and opposite reply

  Since the day he asked me he was disturbed and I too for not talking to each other in a cheerful way as we did everyday and disappointing my dearest and the most dearest best friend Harshit.
But what i would do, i had no choice. I daily saw my father fighting with my mother, he abused my mom for no reason, dranked alcohol limitlessly and has grown egoistic of his so called big fat money which he earned out of his medium scale business.
        I saw my mom crying now and then, even not making love once in the month and regretting the downfall of her life. She believed that the reason behind all her suffering was my father and his 'bewada' husband.
       I had no belief in the concept of love which our indian film industry had a keen interest on, its shades and made a dozen of films on love every day, every month. This phobia was only because of a perfect example of an unsuccesful, hurting and imperfect love of my own mom and dad.
        I never felt the urge of bringing them together, because whenever i made an attempt, i mean to say a always failed attempt it became more disasterous and shameful for me and my little brother Palash.
        Harshit was aware of everything every bit of my life happening even if i never told him. He knewed and said, " Do you know why you stay with me as long as there is a sunrise to sunset because of your sake."
I surprisingly asked him, "Do you mean to say i am selfish?" He answered, "Not really selfish but you are hungry. Tu pyar ki bhuki hai meri princess.You do not deserve a night dramatic scene everyday in your home."
I smiled and he certainly taking note of Palash being not here, kissed on my forehead and with all his deep love and power whispered in my ears" I LOVE YOU ISHA"

A dreamy small journey

    Since he told me the magical words, I too felt the same for him.
We started sharing more of our deepest thoughts more of our close feelings, felt like adorable happiness.
        Harshit daily used to come to my place and we enjoyed as if we are the only two humans in this world. We used to walk and walk for miles enjoying icecreams.

                                      My birthday

Our tenth boards were going on, I hardly saw him because we got different exams centres. And i was unable to talk to him because of a voilent fight between my mom and dad which led to leaving my own home with mom and Palash and shift to my cousin's house.
        My birthday was not so special as I missed my friends and I remembered my last birthday with Nidhi, Mukul and Harshit eating cholepuri, abusing dad, eating cake like animals getting the whole of their love and listening to my favourite song 'saiyaara'. Even if Harshit was ill he came and made my day. But this time he also did not even try to wish me. I shamlessly, craving of his voice called him and said "Mera birthday hai mujhe wish toh kr."
He said, " Bahar aaja, mai tere ghar ke bahar hi khada hu."
         I was angry with him but was very happy inside for meeting him on my birthday. He holded my hands tight and said, "happy birthday princess.Aisehi rhehna humesha. Don't change for anyone in life."

A paradox

 

Days passed by and we passed our tenth exam and then our worst time started. My mom out of frustation of maybe hearing neighbours gossip about me and Harshit, made me force to shift to nani's home and insulted Harshit in a very bad manner.
       I cried,
              I said that the first thing to you,
               You never gonna be away,
                If it happens, i will send my smile
                  To the unreachable high,deep and wide far away......
        
          We both missed each other and craved to see a sight of each other. But distance brought misunderstandings between us. He felt that i am happy being away from  him. This was a hard time for both of us.But we were never able to hate each other. I was planning to meet him a weekend before his birthday after my tutions. I texted him i love u jaan and please come to me as always surprising...
        He replied, "Dear Isha I love u too, miss u like hell. But one thing u keep in mind I may or may not be there for you forever or the next moment. You please never stop living as i thought you would and always keep smiling and remember i will keep loving you always my jaan."
         The day after I called him, after my tutions left incomplete, because I felt like drowning and did an half accident and felt that something is going wrong, first time in my life i intuitioned. His phone was switched off. After multiple attempts i went back home and dropped my plan to meet him. 
         The day after i tried calling him but again it came a switch off tone. His mom called me and said,"Beta,is Harshit with you? " she became more nervous after my negative reply.
         Harshit went missing for whole three days and made me feel dead of this situation. At last it happened.
         Harshit was dead. He was no more. He was not existing in this world.

   A decline

    I felt a mass depression. I felt alone. I felt destructed emotionally. But i didn't wanted to suicide for the person who taught me to live i mean how to be happy selflessly. I missed him, i missed him like hell. So i lost my smile but still being strong i carried myself very well. I thought he was seeing me and smiling saying "my princess😊"
      I passed my twelth with 80%. When my result were out I felt like telling Harshit the first. But couldn't. Even if a year and a half was passed, the pain was fresh. Still can have a heart attack but i survived.
      I left my hometown. I want to forget everything. And I succeded. I got a group of friends here. I got my special one after a very taugh time, NILESH SINGH. He loved me like hell and I share  a very special bond with him. I will remember harshit althrough my life. My best friend. My first love. I still love you.