A Journey To Be Something
A Journey To Be Something10 mins 967 10 mins 967
This story is about a women who after marriage had lost her identity but eventually she started a new journey as a teacher. She is narrating her story to another stranger women whom she found in same place as of her, with her story she is trying to build up courage and confidence in her so that she can learn to take stand irrespective of conditions.
At once, she left there were murmurs, mumbles, discussions inside the bus. Out of curiosity, one fine woman approaching Shweta interrogated, “Who was telling the story? And whose story was it anyway?”
To this Shweta replied that it was Mrs. Vedanshi, who was explicitly narrating her own story, was telling the story. The women was looking with great interest towards Shweta. Her eyes were asking many questions. Shweta decided to let the woman and others sitting inside the bus whoever were interested in knowing the story.
It all started at Patna railway station where she and I were looking for the bus. Her eyes were minutely observing substantial activities happening around. Nearly, after half an hour she initiated conversation with little smile asking, “Where you want to go”? Looking at her I replied, “Bairiya, Muzaffarpur”. She stumbled, smiled and said, “Thanks to Radharaman Ji, I got a company now. I will be getting down at Bhagwanpur Chowk, Muzaffarpur. If you don’t mind, we can go together until Muzaffarpur”. I nodded with Yes. After a while our bus came. We both sat side by side, she again offered me some biscuits and water to drink. Thereby she asked me as if something was wrong with me. As she has sensed some marks of stress over my face.
Even me too broke-down and started to weep. She consoled me and asked to open up myself. May be she could be of some help. At this, I told her that, “my spouse has met an accident where he has got severe limbs injuries. Doctor have told that it will take minimum of three months for fractures to heal up. He has to take proper bed rest and no work for six months. I am very much worried as my son is in class five and my daughter in class one. My husband’s private job is no more. The private organization has denied for any further help other than bearing his accident’s expenses. This support is also very much for me, as we are medium class family. We do not have nifty ancestral property. Whatever is there is ‘hands to mouth’ with little savings. I am a homemaker and I do not work. How will I manage things?” I busted crying scarfing up my face.
To this, she asked me for my educational qualification and work experience if any. I told her that I have never thought of working. Have invested and devoted completely towards family and child raising. There is no room for me within me. Occupancy is of thoughts of society, kinsfolk and family. Where have I lost, God knows. By the way, I am B.A. Honors in History with First Division from BRAB University, 2008 batch. As of now, I am having experience of teaching my own children until class five at home. She immediately rang up someone, gave my profile and after hanging up she said, “don’t worry sister! There is delay in god's house not darkness, there is a school name Madhuban Public School at Gobersahi Chowk, Muzaffarpur. They have a vacancy of primary teacher. You should first prepare your resume; for this, you can take help of cyber-café people. Read all textbooks of both of your children to brush up your memory and on coming Monday reach to Madhuban Public School with your resume and documents at sharp 10 a.m. for the interview. I hope that you may get this job and may have to start teaching from the very same day. I was talking with Principal now she urgently needs a teacher. Opportunities are coming in your way all your good karma. I would suggest, do not negotiate much on salary, because you are a fresher and you need a break first to ponder your career so that you can support your family in this crisis.
Now what happen? Not looking happy.” I said, “Didi! I will give my cent percent to get this job. I assure you for this. However, I am getting nervous from now only on how will I go? I mean… how will I present myself?” She chuckled up and said, “Okay, to lighten up your mood. Let me tell you my own story. The unsaid truth, the story of my struggle for existence.
It was 19 July 2017, when I was supposed to join my new job as a schoolteacher at Muzaffarpur, Bihar. Hmm…! I have born and brought up at Delhi. The pride of India, the city of talent, on streets of which my beautiful childhood has passed. Five years ago from today, I was a Delhite and a Microsoft Certified Professional Software Engineer. I was a happy spinster with all programming codes and weekend funs. Ignorant towards life’s hardships and drenched completely in my small World of coding, friends, family and local trains. Then, there comes the dooms day, when I was married and shifted to a new state Bihar with my spouse. After shifting to this place, life has taken U-Turn and things were not as it used to be. I was staying at a place with minimum of amenities, lowest work scope for software engineers and a taboo society. Where daughter-in-law has to remain in veil, where the shackles of ruthless traditions does not allow her to step outside her room. As per these traditions, the daughter-in-laws cannot laugh, cannot speak loudly, must know cooking and must get pregnant as sooner they get marry. That was dilapidation of the one who was agile, bubbly and chatterbox at bachelorette days.
I conceived my first child sooner after second month of marriage. Moreover, I was now a jobless and a homemaker. After delivery of my first child, my daughter she has become everything for me. She was the only cause of smiles and happiness for me. After marriage, I had broken up totally. I used to cry in lonely spaces thinking about my life. I had changed my mobile number, broken up links with every friend. Moreover, now I was a stalker over Facebook. I had a keen watch over what my friends were doing rather than how my own self was deteriorating. My friend’s status updates about visits to a particular country was enough to kill me every moment. Meanwhile, I became totally oblivion towards me same like you said there was no space for myself in me. Like this, a time of five years has passed. Awakening happened one day and I interviewed at nearby school for post of teacher. Wow, they had selected me. Thanks to my spouse, who compelled and taken me with him for this interview. I was not ready to go because I did not had faith over me. However, my spouse consoled me and prepared me well to face the interview.
Huh! A day before my joining it went making plans, Google searches on teaching, shopping and insomnia of the whole day.
After passing through sleepless night, I hurriedly rush out of my cozy bed at sharp 5:00 a.m. Guess What, I was all waken up before the alarm beeps.
Wondering all the time, what to wear at first day of my work. Last night, I already did my homework over Google search. Thanks to the keywords and crawlers, I bumped on to number of blogs and websites providing tips on makeups and formal dresses for teachers.
Somehow, I managed to finish household chores. Today I prepared two lunch boxes, one for my kindergarten-going daughter and other one for me. Wow, what a lovely feeling. The agonize for identity, the desire to re-live, a wish to see shades of life were all going to be satisfy today. I were happy, excited and nervous that I may not messed up with everything. After all a relapse of 5 years; proper disconnection with friends, Facebook and outside World has turned me up completely into a woman with zero confidence, introvert, pessimist, sad, self-pitying, frustrated and shattered.
Finally, I made my mind and I chose olive green long chemise paired up with same olive green leggings. Green is my favorite color and to have the tone of positivity, I went on with greenly vibes. Then wrapped up saffron cotton dupatta over both shoulders to get a teachers look. Wore my sandals and along with my father-in-law headed towards North, the direction to the CBSE affiliated Resonate Public School.
With all trembling legs, wearing silence I reached School. By the time, assembly was over. Director Sir, told me to wait inside a 6X6 cubicle. Meanwhile I was all sweating and my palms going colder n colder. I was blank, damn nervous and contemplating how am I going to face students? How will I deal with Mathematics at class? I just hope students may not come up with difficult questions...! Storm of thoughts were all making whirlpool in my mind, and my heart it was popping as if it will come out of my body the another second.
Then teacher in-charge summoned me to take my first mathematics lecture at class 7. The words fluttered and flew in the wind. I was jittering. You could imagine what kind of situation it would have been for a teacher, who had never seen the revised textbook of Mathematics for CBSE. Who had not prepared her lesson plans, and have no clues about school timetable.
Gosh! As I was heading towards standard 7, more number of suspicious eyes were gazing at me. I can see students hoping, frisking and peeping out of every classes to get a glimpse of new Teacher. What a celebrity feeling it was! Sigh, the moment I stepped in I heard chorus melodious voice, "Goooood Moorn-inn-g Ma-a-dam". I was awestruck, my heart was palpitating and legs were trembling. With a shaken voice, I spoke my first word ‘Good Morning Class’! Thereby begin with introducing myself, “I am Miss. Vedanshi, will be taking your Maths class from today onwards, Okay class why not you all introduce each one of yourself (smile). So let’s begin from you right hand side left most corner”. Students started giggling and got comfortable. Meanwhile I got some time to get a glance of matter inside chapter 7, Exercise 7(A) of Maths Textbook. Yay! Feeling of victory. I know this it was chapter of Surds. Students shot series of questions on me after I done with teaching. At very first shot, I thought I am dead but thank God, I manage to answer Nishant. It gave me some confidence, thereby started handling and playing with students learning techniques. Realizing that mugging up surd formulas were base of all sums, I assigned them work to by-heart the formulas.
That was 50 minutes long period, after which I have to handle class 6th, 8th and 9th. At the end of the day, I realized that seventh was the most disciplined class of that school. I was all smiling and contented. A day well spent.
Time passed by, and I worked vehemently and very dedicatedly. In due course of time, I became the class teacher of standard seventh. Moreover, now I was teaching subject Science due to unavailability of Science teacher. At the end of session, my school has rewarded me with the best teacher award. In addition, arranged a media felicitation of Hindi Newspaper team Dainik Bhaskar and Dainik Jagran to felicitate me for having an article published in International Journal on Environmental Science.
Truly, this made me complete. Honored me, and shown me the path to work for the students and improvisation of Education system. Indeed, it was my first break that has set my Identity as School Teacher. All right, there has come my stop, I will have to get down now out of bus.
At last, I have to say Mrs. Shweta, do not lose hope and do not get disheartened. At the end, we have to manage and look after our own situations and circumstances. God is great! He gives us the courage to withstand and fight against the odds. As I have narrated you now, you can very well draw the line on miseries of a born and brought up urban girl verses the current rural women. Nevertheless, I am continuously creating opportunities through obstacles and moving further. This is life.”
The bus halted at Bhagwanpur Chowk and the woman narrating her story get out of the bus giving hopes to every women sitting inside. Making them to realize their strength and womanhood. It was a realization to respect value and salute women for every sacrifices she pays for her dear ones to the brink of her own longings.