You Need No Hero

My hero, my saviour,

My knight in shining armour,

You took too long, oh warrior,

Rescue me from this monster,

Cried the lady in the tower.

Distressed damsel fear no further,

I will save you from danger,

Though first I need to eat my dinner,

Followed by a tiny slumber,

Said the knight in shining armour.

He shook his head, that hamster,

Sitting quietly in a corner,

O lady! Chuck the man in armour,

Dig a tunnel, do it hither,

You need no hero, nor a saviour.