Where To ?

The years rushed past

Leaving behind experiences and lessons

To such an extent

Helping me live life to the fullest

Filling memorable moments and joyful events.

Not a straight smooth trajectory though,

Was not a big deal to handle

After having made up to this day

It was quite a journey of lessons, of tasks, and of struggles.

The so-called true callings were so strong

That changed from phase to phase

To what I clung so firm

To give and have the best of everything.

Juggling roles midst responsibilities

Perfection, competition, goals, achievements

My heart yearned for every bit

The days were exciting, making me very much alive.

But unwarned life is slipping

Steep slope toward darkness

Is it or not, I am not so sure

It is indeed, I figured out.

When, how, and what I could not unravel

Maybe the phase of life, the perimenopause

Or Maybe being an empty nester

I was not convinced, and I strongly felt.

Whatever the cause it is horrifying

The last flicker of light, the hope to hope too vanished

Ascending me deep into a terrifying darkness

I am frightened to the core of being alone for long.

Where has the fighter in me gone

Where is the optimist, that smart soul

Who had the guts to fight the oddest of odds

Who believed that everything that happened?

But everything has a divine cause, I realize

My shadow too is failing to stand by my side

Darkness is everywhere, wherever I see

In my heart, in my soul, deep inside of me.

My cries too stopped echoing

In the pitch dark, all I see is crystal clear

Hard-hitting reality staring me in the face

Questioning me who I am.

Silence have I gone in search of the answer

What and Where is this leading to?

I have no clue.