Waking Up Alone

How many years now? I forget.

I forget many things nowadays. 

Have you eaten? She asks me daily, 

But I can't say.

Have I eaten, I ask the attendant?

I'm 91 this month, I tell my daughter. 

And you are doing wonderfully, she replies. 

We talk, daily. 

And late into the night when she's here.

It's over 12 years Mom's been alone. 

She hurried into the trench with the kids

When Dad was away during the wars.

She moved through military bases with him,

The backbone of the family. 

She was his refuge after hard days,

She was his strength powering him on

When he had to be away.

She nursed him in those last years with love and care nonpareil.

She made him meals he would never forget. 

They never argued. 

He never raised his voice. 

She was the law at home.

He made sure we never contested that.

So powerful a relationship,

So strong the commitment. 

A beautiful marriage 

Kept beautiful till the very end. 

Fifty two years later,

Torn apart from her beloved. 

Crippled in health,

Left with a legacy of precious moments. 

She went through the motions daily, 

Cleaning his trophies, 

Preserving his things,

Painstakingly looking after the house they'd made together, 

Performing every family duty on her own.

The dining table was unused nowadays. 

She eats alone, on the bedside table. 

But her mind was far, 

Far away.

To when they met,

Their first holiday.

The elder one's chicken pox,

The Puja functions.

As she goes through umpteen moments,

Her eyes become drowsy

And she falls asleep to the sounds of a full family in her mind's ears.

The bird calls very early every morning,

And she unfailingly responds. 

It's 4 am. 

She wakes up alone. 

It has been this way for over a decade.