The silence is deafening

The silence is deafening,

who knew the voices in my head 

Held so much power,

that my entire being succumbed to it. 

How do I tell everyone 

How do I make them understand,

that it’s difficult for me to breathe,

that every step I take,

Feels like I’m one step further away from them 

How do I make them understand,

That I’m fighting a battle against myself,

A battle which leaves my chest bleeding,

But my body is numb,

Will everything be alright?, I ask my mom,

As my chest heaves up and down,

My mind is exhausted,

it’s telling me to stop,

But I’m helpless,

For as each day passes by,

the pain in my chest,

Keeps on building up,

like the waves of a sea,

engulfing a ship full of people,

The place where I am,

Is dark and 

The end is far away,

Each step I take,

Feels like stepping on broken pieces of glass,

But my body is strong,

it knows that even in the darkest of times,

there’s always a light; a ray of hope,

That one day, 

I will find a way to get through,

They don’t understand,

What it feels like,

To be alone in a room full of people,

To feel the panic slowly building up,

But my body is used to it,

The pain no longer terrifies me,

It makes me weaker, day by day,

But I’m surviving,

Though barely,

When will this be over?, I ask my mother,

She’s helpless as she looks at my father in distress,

And for a moment, 

the voices in my head make me feel guilty,

for something that’s beyond my control,

And I cry harder than before,

Each breath I take,

Makes me feel like I’m drowning.

But how do I make them understand

That I’m scared,

that one day, I might just give up,

And never come up to the surface,

Gasping for air.

It’s a dark,dark world,

In which the demons are the voices in my head,

I’m terrified of facing them alone,

But how can I ask someone to share my pain?

When even I can’t endure it,

But in the darkness, 

There’s a voice,

Which is soothing and calm,

It puts me at ease,

And as I smile through my pain,

I feel a bubble of hope building up,

And even though the light is far, far away,

It’s close enough,

to light the flames of strength inside me,

And as I stand up again,

My voice is louder than the voices inside my head,

And for the first time,

They are quiet.

The silence is deafening,

But this time,

It’s the sound of my own voice,

echoing inside my head,

And for the first time in ages,

The pain subsides,

And I can finally breathe.