PARADISE

I was standing all alone on the beach,

The sun was setting, the darkness was coming

The water was reaching my feet

Like meeting a new rainbow shirt-wearing the creature

Wondering why there’s no one with me

It was just 8 pm, but my face was showing 12 all day long

Like a broken clock.

I started walking, not towards home, but to the deep 

Sun rays reflecting the sea, like I was being hypnotized

But the difference was that I knew what I was doing 

Suddenly, I stopped, like coming back to my senses

I was on the verge of the deepness of the water

I didn’t know how to swim so walked as fast as I could

But a huge wave came, held me like a long lost friend 

And started taking me with it, 

There was no point in screaming, I was already underwater,

Drifting deeper and deeper into the endless darkness,

I was hoping it to be quick but it didn’t happen, I was still breathing

I was breathing as I had ever breathed in my life

All my sins, all my anxiety, and depression 

We’re floating away and came together to form a body

That body looked like me

And for a moment smiled and looked at me 

Then disappeared into the darkness.

I kept drowning and drowning 

Until a white beam of light shone brightly

And I stood up and looked around

Fell from the ocean, right into

A room completely white, with nothing but a door, with a white paintbrush,

And a note saying,

“Paint Your Paradise and open up the door.”

I looked around and saw the colors spilled on the floor

I look at my shirt, seems all the colors from it were now 

Lying there, begging to be used.

I used that brush, to feel the colors 

I was surprised, horrified but relieved to find that they were true

Not just another perfect illusion.

I touched the walls, they felt like new canvas sheets, begging me to paint on them.

So I took the brush and painted the first wall to look exactly like the sky I was lost in before I started drowning

All the bright reds, all the oranges, hints of yellow and lots of purple

Etched on the once blank canvas sheet created that sky I always thought of when I used to be sad

I touched it but then something happened, 

My hand went through the canvas and so did my whole body because of surprise

First, it was darkness, but then I felt my feet touch something soft and heavenly

I was standing on one of the clouds I had painted, I ran, jumped, looked down to the city finding it to be as small as ants,

Overwhelmed by the feeling of heaven I laid my head and went off to sleep

When I opened my eyes I was back in that room where I painted my Paradise

When I reached the door to open it, it didn’t even let me twist the handle.

Another note appeared “Broaden your mind and try again, is this your Paradise?”

I was pushed back by the question, but it made me think more carefully

“What do I like more than that sky?”

I took the paintbrush again and went towards the second wall and painted a concert scene, where people are holding signs spelling my name, my lucky numbers, my song lyrics,

I painted a spot on the stage under the spotlight,

I sang my original songs, the ones I wrote when I was still new to writing

Everything was mind-blowing, I danced, I screamed, I sang, I enjoyed.

I signed notebooks, faces, met people who were crazy to meet me

All I ever would’ve wanted was happening at that moment.

Then it started to rain, I closed my eyes to enjoy and feel every drop of water falling from the sky…

When I opened my eyes, I was back again in that same room, 

So it meant that someone is seriously trying to help me find my true Paradise

So I went to the third wall, with a clear idea of what I wanted at that moment

I used all the brown, the crimson red, the royal green, the royal blue, the topaz and painted my actual Paradise,

A library containing hundreds of shelves of books, 

I entered the library and found a boy wearing the same clothes and the same glasses, the actual me

Sleeping, and dreaming of a world too false to be true 

like the one, I’m writing and is being read by you

I sat on the table no. 12, right next to him and woke him up

So that he could write what he saw through my eyes and make 

You rethink the concept of your actual PARADISE.