Let Me Be Now

It was disturbing for me to see that my best wasn't good enough for you.

I wanted to be your only choice. I wanted to see myself as epitome of perfection.

So, I tried to be someone I wasn't. And you loved that.

I admit that it was bit dramatic and superficial of me to try to be a fictional character that he likes.

I see the disappointment in his eyes when I have stopped doing the things you like.

In his eyes I was just a Barbie doll, he can satisfy his hunger on.

I served him, hoping that one day he will start feeling for me. Disenchanted again.

I cut myself several times thinking that the external pain will relieve me of the pain I felt inside.

After crying and screaming senselessly, I realized it was not worth it.

I vow to be someone better but without changing who I am.

I am tired of him finding comfort in my fire. I am tired of him leaving me naked, exposed and vulnerable.

Maybe that's my fault that I let him condition myself. Let's stop this. Let's be me now.